OT - for FUN - REAL BAND NAMES - at ONE time or another...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Feb 15, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    If you're a parent who's had a teen who was -or is -in a 'band' -- or you've been in one yourself! - you will appreciate this!

    You know how bands are always trying to come up with a unique name? Well, these are actual American bands, listed alphabetically...

    pay attention, Moms & Dads. Somewhere tonight in your neighborhoods, your babies are playing in or listening to the following bands:

    ALIEN NYMPHOS FROM VENUS
    (Somewhere on the gymnasium circuit, these creatures are not only redundant, they have body temperatures of 740 degrees, breathe sulfuric acid, and it takes them 243 earth days getting to tomorrow’s gig.)

    BRADY BUNCH LAWNMOWER MASSACRE
    (Okay, so it was a saccharin TV show with goody-goody characters, but did they deserve to be mulched alive?)

    CHICKEN CHARMERS
    (I wonder, did they rule out “Fraidy-Cat Casanovas” before they arrived at this?)

    DRUNKS WITH GUNS
    (No pretenses here. And you thought flying drumsticks were bad.)

    E. COLI
    (Right now, these guys are getting bookings for the wrong reasons, and right about here, you’re wondering if I’m serious. They’re really out there, Mom and Dad. Not to worry. “Vegetarian Meat” are hauling their amps into some venue as you read this...)

    FRANKENSTEIN DRAG QUEENS FROM PLANET 13
    (I know what YOU’re thinking, but you’ll have to ask the Venutians.)

    GEE THAT’S A LARGE BEETLE I WONDER IF IT’S POISONOUS
    (I just can’t fathom this one. Did they do this in fond remembrance of the guy who asked the question?)

    HORNETS ATTACK VICTOR MATURE
    (Are you still with me? Could I possibly make these up? --NO!!)

    INSANE CLOWN POSSE:
    (Finally, one that makes sense. I can picture a bunch of Bozos on horseback chasing Drunks With Guns. That's one way of getting attention...)

    JOLLY NAKED FISHERMEN:
    (no comment...)

    KUNG FU ACTION CLERGY PERSONS
    (I’m beginning to run out of any sense of rationalization!)

    LOST UNDERPANTS OF DOOM
    (See Jolly Naked Fishermen, The Early Years....)

    MAYHEM LETTUCE
    (I like this one. Makes me want to toss the salad -- one way or the other.)

    NEW SQUIDS ON THE DOCK
    (If these guys aren’t the back-up band for the JNF, they oughta be.)

    ON-TIME OFF-RAMPS
    (Good music for the morning gridlock.)

    PINEAPPLES FROM THE DAWN OF TIME: Beginning to beggar the imagination, eh?

    QUICK PIE
    (Ahhh a dessert for after my salad.)

    RAGE AGAINST THE COFFEE MACHINE
    (It was a toss-up between them and “Rolling Donut.” Again, I think we’re looking at hybrid bands.)

    SHIRLEY TEMPLE OF DOOM
    (Sorry, Shirley, but I thought you’d want to know.)

    TOOTHLESS ROOSTER MEN
    (I know what you’re thinking, but you’ll have to ask the Charmers)

    ULTIMATE SPINACH
    (Too late for my salad free-for-all.

    VAST VOID OF EMPTY NOTHINGNESS
    (I’m trying to imagine the job interview:
    Q:“So, Mr. Sherman, how long were you with the...vast void of empty nothingness?”)

    WHEN PEOPLE WERE SHORTER AND LIVED BY THE WATER
    (A: “About a year. I wanted to go to when people were shorter and lived by the water.”)

    XEROX MONKIES:
    (“I...see. And when you left there you worked one summer for...the Xerox monkies?”)

    YAMS IN OUTER SPACE:
    (“Yes sir. That was just before I joined the yams in outer space.”)

    ZOMBIES UNDER STRESS:
    (“Uh-huh. And, now you’re with zombies under stress? Sounds like you'd be perfect for the job!”)


    LOL, hope you got a laugh or 2...
    Victoria
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Ah, the happy memories. I used to listen to all those guys on Dick Clark's Bandstand when I was a teenager. They just don't bands like they used to.