OT Funnies

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Empower, Sep 8, 2006.

  1. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

    One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

    Atheism is a nonprophet organization.

    If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

    The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

    I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

    Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

    If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

    It there another word for synonym?

    Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Where do forest rangers go "to get away from it all?"

    What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

    If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    Why do they lock gas stations bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

    If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

    How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

    Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Just what we need around here. Thought-provoking humor.

    Where would you put a bumper sticker that said:

  3. mrdad

    mrdad New Member

    One of the bumper stickers that still remains one of my
    favorites was on the back of an old Chevy pickup in the
    North Valley highway 99. Old man in front of me wearing
    a white cowboy hat. Bumper sticker said: "I'm not really
    a Cowboy, I just found the hat."

    People make assumptions!! Just because a wear S.F. Giants
    Hat, people walk up to me on the streets here and
    ask me for an autograph!! (Feel horrible when I sign in
    some REAL players name, then charge a fee!)

    There some kind of lesson or message here, but I
    don't even know what it is!?

    Oh,Gee! P.S. (I'm not really a Giants Fan, I just found--)
    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2006]

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