OT funny for today some all too true

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jbennett2, Apr 20, 2006.

  1. jbennett2

    jbennett2 New Member


    >
    >I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
    >doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided
    >to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated,
    >jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got
    >my leotards on, the class was over.
    >
    >--- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is
    >the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply
    >replied, "No peer pressure."
    >
    >--- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
    >
    >--- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the
    >very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she
    >replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker
    >commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
    >
    >--- I've sure gotten old.! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip
    >replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half
    >blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
    >different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
    >blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly
    >feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have
    >lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license
    >
    >--- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her
    >preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be
    >cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
    >"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be
    >sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
    >
    >---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not
    >as sharp as it used to be.
    >
    >--- Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
    >
    >---I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my
    >body are just prone to swinging.
    >
    >---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker
    >
    >---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast
    >relief."
    >
    >---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your
    >inner child playing with matches.
    >
    >---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.!
    >
    >--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow
    >old because you stop laughing.
    >
    >- --THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people
    >I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
    >the eyesight to tell the difference.
    >
    >Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10. Oh
    >heck, send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are.
  2. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    Thanks for the laughs

    Jake
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Very funny!


    Thus are comedy and tragedy intertwined in the lives of us all.
  4. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    I can relate to some of these! And, I can laugh at them, too.

    Thanks for the chuckle.

    Sue
  5. skyeone

    skyeone New Member

    That is just too priceless, thanks for the laugh!

    Skye