OT Funny The difference between men and women

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Greenbean7, Sep 14, 2006.

  1. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    Hope you enjoy!

    The Difference Between Women and Men

    NAMES
    If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
    If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go
    out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

    EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS
    A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The
    average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

    ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    CATS
    Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    SUCCESS
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
    successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries
    a woman expecting that she won't change ,and she does.

    DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A
    man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate
    during the night.

    OFFSPRING
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
    appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some
    short people living in thehouse.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    Any married man should forget his mistakes.
    There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

    AND FINALLY....
    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
    neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of
    mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

    "Yep," the wife replied,"in-laws."

    Hugzz
    Greenbean

    Stop and smell the puuppies!
  2. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Funny Greenbean! Thanks for the giggle!

  3. ANNXYZ

    ANNXYZ New Member

  4. razorqueen

    razorqueen Member

    all I can say LOL!!

    Raz
  5. Scapper

    Scapper New Member

    So true.......so funny!!
  6. ll1816

    ll1816 Member

    Thank for the laughs Greenbean. Chuckles are always a mood booster!

    Hugs,
    Liz
  7. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    That was hilarious!!!

    I was almost done with the board for the morning until I saw your name posting this and thought I'd just pop in and look, wow... I'm glad I did.

    Thanks for the giggles to start my day,

    Nancy B
  8. barbinindiana

    barbinindiana New Member

    I LOVE it!
    Thanks
    Barb
  9. minkanyrose

    minkanyrose New Member