OT HELP Exs New Bride and I will be in the same house for A week

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by suzetal, Jun 9, 2006.

  1. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    I am going to GA to my sons wedding reception.Staying at my daughters.Just found out that my ex and his wife the B will be there also for a week I'm there 20 days.

    My son left his Dads in Mass because of this B.He moved to GA with his sister 3 yrs ago.Far from me I'm in RI.

    I need to keep my mouth shut not to ruin things for my son and his new bride.

    I know this woman married my ex for what he has.She does not know but I still have half my name is still on the properties and I'm not signing off.There for my kids.

    I am so afraid she will do something or say something that will piss me off.I cook and am good at it and will be doing the cooking.Thats so when my daughter comes home from work she can sit and enjoy ( she has a 3 and 4 yr old plus another on the way)If this B even says oh I don't like that I will probably loose it.

    Another thing that bothers me is she has seen my grand babies more than I have,They call her granny I am Nana.If they go to her and not me it will break my heart.I have not seen the girls in 2 years.Was not able to travel before this.

    Just wanted to know .If any of you have gone though this and how did or would you handle it???

    By the way while I'm there I will come on the board to sound off cause I wont be able to there .Ill let you all know how things are going.LOL

    Thanks
    Sue
  2. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Sue:
    Family or no family, what I would do is stay at a hotel nearby. I know it might be a little expensive, but it is a place to call your own.

    I refuse to put myself in awkward situations because I tense up and begin to hurt. Stress reaction.

    Yet: it is your family and you might want to be real close to them, which is understanding. How about this:

    Outdo the B by being a bigger B.

    nyrofan
  3. mrstyedawg

    mrstyedawg Member

    I personally think that you should get to stay at your daughters and the B and your ex should be the ones to go to a hotel. There is no way I could spend even one day around my ex and his B.
  4. justlooking

    justlooking New Member

    Let your daughter know the situation is bothering you and maybe she could ask them to stay in a hotel for a couple of days and then you could stay at a hotel a couple of days, to be fair to both parents.

    I know just how difficult these things can be. My parents divorced when I was 18 and it was a bit of a nasty one. I don't take sides and always try to be fair to both my parents but its always hard!! I would never ask that they stay in my house at the same time, it would be awkward for everyone. Why stress everyone out when there can be a fair solution?

    I'm sure it will be as uncomfortable for your ex and his wife as it is for you and it will also be uncomfortable to your daughter. I honestly think if you talk to her about splitting the time at her house in half over that week she will be relieved and willing, as will your ex.
    This will be a special time for your son and I'm sure no one wants that ruined by unnecessary stress.

    As a step-daughter and a mother, my kids love both of my parents and their spouses. I don't let them know how much resentment is there between my parents and don't want them to withhold love from anyone because of anyones issues. Kids need all of the love they can get, from every family member who's willing to give it. Grandparents love is the best love in the world and I'm sure there is more than enough love in the kids hearts for all of you.

    Sincerely
    JL
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    this playing out? As a French farce or a Bette Davis-type drama?

    I've had enuff family drama to last a lifetime nyself. I would stay at a motel.

    Good luck!
  6. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    I think the high road..being as gracious to all as possible is by far the best way to go. You will feel good about yourself, you will set a wonderful example for your children and grandchildren, and you will be the winner in the game of life!

    Hugs, Jana
  7. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    what i do don't understand is why the heck are they would consider staying in the same home as you are wyour own biological daughter....

    you could get a hotel, if you can afford it...i hope the dad i s paying for the reception or any expenses...

    but typically the brides family should be putting people up in hotel or homes...isn't there any other places for the ex and wife b can go...to sleep...?

    if there is absolutely not...calll you ex hubby and talk to him...about having him stay at a nearby hotel or w/other family memembers....tell him about your physical condition and how awful hotels are for you condition...and ask him if you think the wife will feel comfortable around you, honestly and to think about his wife's feelings...and how she may feel more comfortable somewhere else as well apart from you...

    it will be difficult enough to be cordial to this woman or her to you and not feel insecure around you at the reception..

    but to be sleeping and eating and using the same bathrooms..oh boy...

    some one needs to get a hotel or another home to sleep at....

    jodie
  8. texasmaia

    texasmaia New Member

    Both my parents are remarried.

    My husband and I were both married before.

    We have lots of Ex's to deal with.

    My motto: Be the best I can be! I've spent many a weekend, week and night in the same house as my husband's ex wife and her numerous husbands. (She just divorced #6) We get along famously.

    How? Well, I just figure that it's something that has to be done, so do it well. My kids are all going to go through graduations, weddings, and babies that I have to share with many other family members. Heck NO, they aren't all nice people to be around!! That doesn't mean I have to be that way though.

    We have to share our children and grandchildren, so I just figure I will do it as good as I can do and make the most of it.

    I really hope you have a good week, and don't stress out so much about them. If they do stuff, blow it off and be blessed by your time with your family.

    Maia
  9. Jordane

    Jordane New Member

    I agree,show the weasel what he lost.

    And remember you are there for your son.And only around them for awhile ( Thank God ).

    Because of staying away from some members of my family,I lost out on some special times.The person should have been my main concern.But instead I made the other people,the ones I did not wish to see,the main thing.

    But I know you will do OK,because you have class babe!!!

    Take Care!!
    Jordane