OT HUMOR giggles and groans...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Jun 14, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    (Don't these first 2 sound like some of the doctors we've been to?)

    "Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!"
    "What's come over you?"

    "Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!"
    "Pull yourself together!"

    What is the one thing that unites all Americans, regardless of gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background?
    ----Deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers

    Why do some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
    -----Light travels faster than sound

    What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

    What do you get when cross a godfather with a lawyer?
    -----An offer you can't understand

    What is the best Iraqi job?
    Foreign Ambassador

    What's the difference between Ann Coulter and a microwave oven?
    -----A microwave stops when you open the door

    Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
    -----Because demons are a ghoul's best friend

    Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
    -----No phone numbers

    How can you pick out Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?
    -----He's the one with sesame seed buns

    Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
    -----He bought a warehouse

    Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the park?
    -----One was a salted


    -the man who spent his entire life collecting memorabilia of Wonder Woman, Joan of Arc and Florence Nightingale?
    >>>>>>>>>Apparently, he was a heroine addict.

    -the guy who walked into a bar with jumper cables around his neck?
    >>>>>>>>>The bartender said, "All right, I'll let ya stay---but don't start nuthin."

    -the patient complaining to his doctor that he felt like a pack of cards?
    >>>>>>>>>the doctor told him to sit down and he'd deal with him later.

    -Santa's little helper who felt depressed?
    >>>>>>>>> Apparently he had low elf esteem

    hope you laughed at least once...

  2. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    I liked the one about the godfather and lawyer the best. (Big "Godfather" fan here!)

  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    You should get a job like Bennett Cerf where you pick out jokes to put in joke books.

    How do you get a job like that? Easy. He owned the publishing company. (Random House)
  4. mrdad

    mrdad New Member

    There ought to be "a law'!! I fear that you and I our the only ones old enough to know who Bennent Cerf was in the "Golden Age of Television". Wasn't it right before "Gunsmoke" on Sat. Nite?? "Thanks for the Memories"

  5. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Hate to admit it, but there's lots of us who remember...


  6. kholmes

    kholmes New Member

    Those were great. I especially like the "women who love too much" joke.

    [This Message was Edited on 06/14/2006]

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