OT...I am in shock

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hermitlady, Oct 19, 2006.

  1. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    My husband left his job of 25 yrs yesterday. He had given his life to that place and they let him go for a couple of absurd reasons. He worked for a masonry contractor and the co was recently bought out by a big corporation. Well, he went from a family owned company to big business USA. This new company took over about 9 months ago and his entire world changed.

    Long story short....he worked his a** off for 24 yrs to build the original company from the ground up...started as a laborer and worked himself up to Vice President. Original boss sells to big guys, big guys don't like the oldtimers, big guys hire young college graduates and groom them for mgmt postions, big guys fire the old guys, can pay less money to the new kids. Original boss feels TERRIBLE that this happened to my husband, but he was powerless cuz he no longer owned the company and had no rights left.

    So, he will be getting a very good severance package (how generous of them) so we aren't going to be broke or anything. That job was really the only reason we have lived here for 25 yrs. We're trying to make this a good thing, we could move anywhere and start out fresh, closer to our families. I don't mind downsizing at all, I've always said that THINGS don't matter.

    I am just so angry that he gave so much for so many yrs and the big guys could care less. He was just another number. He is actually in very good spirits about everything, he is an incredibly upbeat person and always finds the good and things. I just have to try to not dwell on the past and the way he got treated so badly. Wish me luck.

    Sorry to go on so long, just in shock so badly and trying to keep on a good face for him. He doesn't want me to get upset about it, he knows the stress will send me over the edge. Thanks for listening friends.

    xxxooo Hermit
  2. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Oh hermit I so know how you feel!

    My husband worked for a big company for 27 years. The year before he turned 50 they downsized and he was laid off. He got a decent severance but it was a big shock to all of us.

    My husband laughed when he was laid off because it had been so stressful at work for several years with people being laid off all around him that he was kind of glad it was over.

    My husband is like yours, puts way too much time into his job and I think it took a lot out of him to have to find work after working for the same company for so long.

    I know he is way overqualified for the job he is doing now. Unfortunately a 52 year old man with a college diploma and years of experience gets overlooked for the young ones with a university degree.

    I tried to go to work full time to help out and that was what caused me to crash about a year later. It took this crash for me to finally get a diagnosis but it was a very bad time for us.

    We are making ends meet now but I worry all the time about what would happen to us if he ever got sick. The place where he works doesn't offer any kind of benefits. He puts in extremely long hours and I worry that he will wear himself out.

    I am really sorry that this has happened to you. Please come and talk to us and let us know how you are doing.

    hugs Redwillow

  3. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Wow it just goes to show to not take anything for granted and have a back up plan.

    I am sorry your husband had this happen to him. But it looks like he has the right attitude. When one door closes another opens.

    I'm sure this is going to be very hard for you. You have had your house to your self and routines. Having him home may be a ...ah adjustment.:)


    My BF husband lost his job a couple years ago. He went back to full time this year. They have been together for 10 years and she did not work because she has RSD.

    Anyway, they really love each other but he drove her crazy,lol. She was so use to having it her way, then there he was across the table every morning.

    I would take this as a chance to go a differnt road. It may be what you need to jump start you to get back to your glass. He's home now so he can get all the dust up and tyding your shop for you, hehe.

    I have seen alot of jobs lost due to bigger companies, the small guy can't compete anymore.

    How many get an opportunity to really get to do what they want to. Go anywhere and make a fresh start or stay there if your happy and find him a another job. Take some time and relax, it will come to you-Carla
  4. gnanny

    gnanny New Member

    I am sorry to hear about the job ending. we had something similar. My husband worked a job he loved. Hung in through plenty of turmoil, boss thanked him and said he thought of him as one of his sons(baloney!) as most of the other employees jumped ship. Well boss sold the business for a LOT of money and was gone without so much as a see ya later.

    Of course the new employers had their own people, their own way of doing things etc. He stood it as long as he could but had to leave.

    long story, short...we survived, he got a new job. The point I wanted to make though was one day sweetie was talkative....rare...told me how it was hard for him to let go of old place, sometimes he would drive by it just to look etc. He said it was kind of like a divorce.

    Sooooo it might affect your husband more than he thinks it does right now.
    Best wishes
  5. ckball

    ckball New Member

    bump for hermit
  6. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    I'm sorry about your husband losing his job. I know you both must be in a whirlwind of disbelief. But, I think your husband is giving you good advice. Try not to get stressed about it. If it affects your health, it will make matters worse. And, as sad and unfair as it is, you have no control over it. Try to let it go and embrace the beginning of a new life. Since this only just happened, give yourselves some time to regroup before you make any major decisions (new job, moving, etc.).

    Since this apparently won't impact you too much financially, maybe your husband can now do some things he's always wanted to do. He might also feel a little lost for a while and will need your support. After the dust settles, you might even discover that they did your husband a favor. Who knows??

    Lolalee
  7. PepperGirl52

    PepperGirl52 New Member

    I'm really sorry that you have to go through this!!!

    My husband and I came back from our dream vacation in Hawaii, in June of 1999, only to find out that the entire mining company that he'd worked for for 30+ years was COMPLETELY shut down! Just like that! They told everyone to get out, they locked the doors, and that was that...

    But you know what?? It was the BEST thing that could have happened to us. At the time it sure didn't feel like it, but he had worked in that dangerous situation for so long, had lost a kidney from inhaling all the horrid fumes, has arthritis so bad he can't make a fist. And now?? He has a job he loves!

    We learned really quickly to readjust our lives, to regroup and move on. It's amazing how resilian the human spirit can be!!

    I'm not trying to make light of this at all-I totally understand how traumatic this is. There were times when we drove by his company and just sat in the car and cursed them! And other times, I'd go by myself and cry!!! My father had worked for that company, as had most of my family-we never saw it coming.

    We learned so many valuable lessons through all that, and he was able to get a decent retirement salary from it, so we ended up much better than a lot. But we DID have to have some counselling to get through it, too.

    You take care-stand by your husband and be there for him. Suggest a counsellor if you feel he needs to talk to someone about his feelings. Good luck and God bless you both!! PG
  8. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Dear Herm, As lousy as it is, that's the way it goes these days. I understand your feelings but suggest you concentrate on the benefits of this situation and save yourself and your DH the stress of resentment.

    I do wish you both luck. I have a feeling that this will be a blessing in the long run.

    I had to come back to say that this a reminder for us all that we do have a choice in how we deal with the hand dealt us. We can choose to be upbeat or we can choose to be stressed. I think those of us with this illness must be on the lookout for these kinds of situations. We "automatically" lean toward a stress reaction due to our genetic makeup but we can CHOOSE the opposite for health.

    We need a cheer! GOOOOOOOOOOO, Hermitlady! Let go of the shock and anger.

    Hugs,
    Marta

    [This Message was Edited on 10/20/2006]
  9. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I appreciate everyone's upbeat replies. I'm having a very difficult time right now, and need to turn my mind around to the positive. Unfortunately that's how I am, a pessimist....and it's miserable.

    I get twinges of excitement cuz we now have a chance to start over wherever. I would love to be closer to family, been alone here for 21 yrs.

    Hubby seems fine, but tends to keep everything to himself. I am still hurt that he never talked to me about problems at work, but I totally understand why he didn't. Look at me now, I'm a basketcase! I would love to talk to his boss and give him a piece of my mind, but I'd never really do that. I'd cry the whole time anyway!

    So, thanks for the encouragement, sorry others here have gone thru the same thing, but sounds like you all came out of it just fine.

    xxoo Hermit