OT: In tears honoring my brother today...profile pic

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Kimba4318, Oct 13, 2006.

  1. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    HI friends - I was reading the post about positve things in your life and I would have to say ot is my family.

    I cannot let this DD get me down so much as my "little" brother (10 years younger)has just passed his 4 year anniversary of being paralyzed from the neck down. He had a bad accident and has the best attitude there is.

    When I was waiting for the doctors to come out at the hospital and finally got the news that "he will never walk again" I fell apart. My parents, brother and I are as close as you can get. "This is my baby brother for gods sake with a world of life and love ahead of him and this cannot be happening to him".

    I underestimated my brother. He was/is so handsome and outgoing, funny and physically fit and always on the go. He worked in my dads construction business. I said, when I heard the news, and was sobbing, that he WILL NOT want to live if he cannot walk or use his hands..... He is alive, he finds joy in his life and he has the best attitude of anyone I know. It took a little but he got his wonderful sense of humor back (which I missed so so much). Our family jokes and laughs alot and needless to say, we felt nothing to smile about for so long.

    I have posted a silly picture of him, my dad and my boys. He is the light of their life. The accident happened when he was only 20... I am strong, but some days, the tears just fall and I can't get over why this happened to him - so young and so much to look forward to.

    Last year at THhnksgiving the doctor told him he had Kidney Cancer!!! I kid you not, what else for this guy - hasn't he had enough? He was in the hospital at Christmas (of all times) having surgery. They luckily removed the cancer and hope it will never come back. He has chronic stones and needs to have more lasered out soon.

    If noone reads this, it's okay too - guess it feels good to get it out.
    I love you Jeff, more than words can say - You are my hero!
  2. supergirl99

    supergirl99 New Member

    He sounds amazing! It's really easy to get wrapped up in ourselves sometimes (and quite understandable too when you consider what we have to put up with), but people like your brother really help to put things into perspective. Thank you for sharing.

  3. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I have a little brother to, who I love very much .I think we always feel that special brother sister thing no matter how old we get.

    Your brother has a VERY SPECIAL SISTER also. I'm very sure he loves you very much to
  4. Kinsie

    Kinsie New Member

    What a wonderful sister you are. We're glad you shared this with us.

    God bless you and your family.

  5. DJGirl

    DJGirl New Member

    Read your post today and it touched my heart. So sorry you and your family are going through this.

    I know the pain one goes through when someone they love struggles with health issues. You feel hopeless and wish you could do more but don't know how or what.

    I find comfort in just knowing that they are happy and content. By seeing them optimistic about things and smiling makes me feel that way too.

    Keep a smile on your face. Enjoy your times together. There is ALOT to look forward to still.

    Many blessings,
  6. granny1353

    granny1353 New Member

    beautiful story of your brother and family. We never know why things happen and they sure seem unfair, but it is great he has so much love from you.

    Keep strong and keep pouring all your love on him. You're a great sister.

  7. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    Thank you ALL for your replies and support. I think you are right about what to do, etc... When he used to need help wiht problems or advice I felt like I could always FIX it or make it better. That is one thing I have struggled with the past 4 years... I CAN'T FIX IT!

    When he awoke from his coma he looked at me and asked "Kim am I going to be able to walk again?" and I said, "Not now Jeff, but in time". We do all of the research we can on any new therapies, he works with special doctors and keeps his body in shape for if/when there is a cure or something that would help him.

    Thanks again friends.
    Big Hugs
  8. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    Kim, What an inspiration!!! Yeah Jeff, I applaud you!!!! Kim, I was wondering if you or Jeff are familiar with Joni Eareckson Tada. She is my hero. When I was in the early stages of my illness, one of my sons gave me her book entitled "When God Weeps" and it really touched my soul. If you know Joni's story, you know that it probably parallels Jeff's life in some ways. You can Google her if you're not familiar with Joni and her life and her awesome works since she became disabled.

    Sometimes a disability which seems devastating is the beginning of a new and deeper life.

  9. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    Thank you - will learn more about Joni - just googled her. Very inspiring! I have done so much research I am so surprised I have not read about her before. I will have to get her book.

    Love to all of you - I feel your hugs.
    Thanks a million, feeling better.
  10. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    Kim, thank you for sharing your brother with us, what an inspiration, what a GOOD looking inspiration! :)

    I read Joni's book also, inspirational.

    Love, June
  11. webintrig

    webintrig New Member

    What a truly amazing guy your brother is as well as your family.

    What a loving sister you are and your family!

    You are truly blessed to have one another!

    Sending hugs and prayers your way for better days ahead!

    Keep the faith,
    [This Message was Edited on 10/13/2006]
  12. jole

    jole Member

    Thanks for sharing your story with us. It is so touching and full of love. You are so blessed, as is your family. I'm sure it doesn't seem like it, but so many families have no closeness or love, and God has blessed yours with an abundance. He never lets us down, does He?

    Your brother is amazing, and will have a good life because he doesn't give up or give in. What a wonderful sister you are! I'm sure he's every bit as proud of you as you are of him.....and your parents must be very special also. This world needs more families like yours.

    Blessings -
  13. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    all of you are wonderful and I am also blessed to have friends like you.
    It means so much & I feel like I can move on, in a more positive direction today! Thanks again.
  14. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    Makes you really think about gratitude huh.. so many of us have so much to be thankful for. Thanks for sharing this Kim! Hugs to you and your brother too.
  15. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    sounds like a wonderful guy. Great picture. Cute kids. All four of them.
  16. bluewing

    bluewing New Member


    How lucky you are with a brother with such a good outlook and disposition. He could be an old crab, complaining about everything, but he sounds very happy with his life just as it is. He accepts problems as they appear and sounds thankful to be alive.

    You and your family must be so proud of him! My love and prayers to Jeff and to you.

  17. maedaze

    maedaze New Member

    Thankyou for sharing your story, my best friend is a tetraplegic, was in an accident when she was 9, now 30.

    She is one of the most happiest, funniest woman i have met. She has not let it ruin her life, she is now married and has just had her 2nd son! Although her arms are not strong enough to hold them as babies, as they get older they get to 'ride' with mum........ like she says, saves taking out a stroller!!

    In fact when you meet her, you don't even notice the 'chair', she is larger than life and i bet your brother is the same, people see him first, chair second.

    Great pic of everyone :eek:)
  18. kholmes

    kholmes New Member

    Great tribute to your brother, Jeff. It's hard to believe he had kidney cancer on top of everything else. Very inspirational story; thanks.
  19. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    How lucky and proud you must be to have such an amazing and inspirational brother.

    Sounds like you have a great family you are very lucky that they are there for you and you for them :)

    Sending good thoughts to you both,

    Karen :)
  20. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    I just have to say again (I was logged off for a few hours) that you all mean alot to me.
    Your right - don't even notice the chair & Yes the MICE... those darn things are walking again.. this is why he stays in such grat shape and takes care of himself.
    It is not IF it is WHEN.

    He is inspiring, I feel guilty when the pain gets me down. He will tell you he is NOT giving up and when he had the cancer - he tearfuly told me that this thing was not going to "get him" - I could not believe the strength, this is an hour after he was told the news by the doctor. The doctor was so upset, she had to wait until the day after Thanksgiving (so he could enjoy it with his family) to tell him and she cried when doing so. So... luckily he has some amazing doctors that seem to want to do anything for him. I wish that for all of us!

    Thank you again for listening to me.
    Big Hugs and Lots of Love back at ya!

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