OT(ish) VENT: I hate living here but the CFS has me trapped!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by KelB, Dec 2, 2005.

  1. KelB

    KelB New Member

    Please excuse the long vent, but I can't think of anyone I can call up and I'm really upset.

    It's the middle of the afternoon where I live - broad daylight. I looked out of my kitchen window 30 minutes ago and watched three teenage girls trying to break into a house opposite me.

    I tried to stay out of it long enought to remember descriptions for the police (yeah, with the brainfog - good thinking *hollow laughter*). The youngest/smallest was sent into the back garden. She peered through the garden doors, knocked, and when there was no answer she tried the doorhandle. Thankfully the door was locked.

    At that point, she lost her nerve and left the garden. I thought I'd seen it all, but you won't believe what she did next; she dropped her trousers and relieved herself! I just couldn't believe my eyes.

    At that point, I just opened the window and screamed at them. I don't remember anything I yelled apart from "You're SO COMMON!". Pretty lame huh?

    Anyway, they've gone now, but I guess they'll be back to get some sort of revenge once it gets dark. I already have two air gun bullet holes in my front door from some nutter who went on a rampage last year.

    I hate it here. I hate living here. Most of the people in my road are ordinary, decent people who can't afford to live anywhere else, but the thieving SCUM we have to put up with!

    I'd love to move, but I already live in the cheapest area of my town. In order to get a place elsewhere I'd need another mortgage. And in order to have a mortgage I need life assurance. And I can't get life assurance because I HAVE SODDING CFS AND INSURANCE COMPANIES WON'T TOUCH ME!!! Because CFS is potentially disabling and might mean that I have to take months at a time off sick.

    But try to get money out of an insurance company for LTD because the CFS is making it impossible to work.... Oh no, sorry dear, CFS isn't actually disabling.

  2. tansy

    tansy New Member

    frustrations. I moved from the outskirts of a village to a city already known as tough and rough. The area I live in used to be quieter and more tolerant, but over the years that's changed too. Here the binge drinking, violence and rampages came to a head earlier than in much of the UK, and there's plenty of crime too.

    In the summer of 2004 someone kept trying to break through my door; he was in a mess due to street drugs, alcohol, and the heat. I though he would go away but his behaviour became more frantic. Due to a flare up I was especially vulnerable because there was no way I could have physically defended myself, my arms were virtually useless. Eventually the police intervened.

    Currently I am not in a position to move elswhere. A further hindrance is I still need disabled facilities so that narrows down my choices, and at this stage I would not want to live where I needed to be able to drive. My son was a minor when we moved here, having everything close by ensured he could benefit from facilities being within walking and cycling distance or using public transport.

    Within days of moving to this city he learned the importance of street cred; even now he uses it when necessary, the rest of the time he can be himself. Though living independantly he still lives in the same city because it's cheaper, he cannot afford the highly inflated prices and rents nearer the city in which he now works.

    I hate the position we are all in regarding insurance, sickness and disability allowances. It's corrupt yet is being allowed to continue influencing decisions nationally that continue to have an awful impact on our everyday lives. *Rehabilitation* is providing fund holders with a cheap get out clause; if it fails the patient is blamed.

    Sorry you had to experience that; it's more disturbing to feel under threat or vulnerable in our own homes.

    love, Tansy[This Message was Edited on 12/03/2005]
  3. KelB

    KelB New Member

    Thanks for that Tansy.

    Burglary is pretty much expected in this area, but we're not even being robbed by a decent class of thief any more - just a bunch of dirty little slappers!

    My heart goes out to you in your situation. For all that I'm trapped, at least I'm on my own and just have to look after myself. I don't know how I'd cope if I had the responsibility of steering a child through this mess.

    Thinking of you.
  4. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    The hardest thing for me about getting this illness is poverty! It's so scary going from a nice three bedroom ranch to a rundown place with no garage and criminals for neighbors.

    I was really scared when I first moved here. Case in point:
    One night, I was in my bed and awake about one o'clock in the morning. I had just thought to myself, "What if some creepy person rang my doorbell right now? What would I do?" it when, DING DONG, my doorbell went off. I peeked out and saw a tall, pale-faced man standing on my porch. I asked who he was, and he said he was my neighbor, he wanted to tell me my car dome light was on.

    Well, I can tell you, there are no tall, blue-eyed, pale-faced men in this neighborhood. He left my porch, and I went outside to turn off my light. What did I see? Someone handing the "neighbor" a stereo through the window of my neighbor's house! I was freaked out for quite a while.

    Police cars were a common sight in this neighborhood. Kids would steal my sons toys from our yard. One neighbor sent his 5 year old nephew over to my house, instructing him to knock in my door and go inside to play with my son! I had never met his parents or his uncle or anyone from his family! The kid didn't even wear shoes -- ever! Scary.

    But over time, I learned some ways to get complaints pushed through the grapevine. I.e, you need to find out who knows who that's makes decisions regarding your neighborhood budgets, particularly housing. I attended meetings; not steadily, but now and then. Slowly, over months and now years, things started to change.

    I don't claim that I did this on my own. No way. Many people felt exactly as I did. But since I've lived here, we've gone from having trash blowing through our yards from a communal trash receptactle to having our own trash service for weekly pick-up. We've gone from having overgrown yards to having a lawn mowing service. We've gone from having trashy homes half-falling down to have nice, cleaned up vacant lots mixed with half-decent homes.

    I am celebrating the fact that the last 'trashy' place is gone, gone, gone :)!

    Attitudes have improved. Police car visits to the neighborhood are much less frequent. Some people have been inspired to re-side their places. It's nothing short of a miracle. I've learned it takes hope, courage and people to create this sort of miracle.

    I really feel for you (been there, done that!) I hope that you can create a 'ripple' in your neighborhood that -- down the road -- could turn into a wave.

    (I was lucky in that this area was on an 'improving' trend. The rent is ridiculously low and won't be going up anytime soon because this area is slated for development, and those that linger are locked in place for at least two years per rental office. Hope they keep their word!)

    I wish you the best.