OT Joke - Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by TwinMa, Dec 20, 2005.

  1. TwinMa

    TwinMa New Member

    AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

    Sometimes, we just need to remember what the basic rules of life really are:
    You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
    If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

    Remember:
    * Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    * Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
    * If you woke up breathing, congratulations!

  2. Kinsie

    Kinsie New Member

    I enjoyed a laugh today!

    Kinsie
  3. tansy

    tansy New Member

    They say laughter is good medicine, I've had my dose for today.

    Thanx

  4. TwinMa

    TwinMa New Member

    I thought it was pretty funny myself. #3 is definitely in there for the guys in the crowd.

    I totally agree with the bathroom idea!

    Katy
  5. hagardreams

    hagardreams New Member

    A great laugh today, but I will never look at my sink the same way again, or brush my teeth over it. LOL
  6. victoria

    victoria New Member

    EXCELLENT ADVICE!!!!

    Think I'll print this out and tack it to the refrigerator, hehehehe!

    Thanks for the laughs!
    Victoria