OT - JOKES about "people who vote"...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Jan 15, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    AND I promised Acesnanna to give her all the credit for dredging these up, hehehe!

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    Caution! These People vote!
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    Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, which was still working, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying "Free to good home! You want it you take it!"

    For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal, looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.

    (the thief probably can vote...)

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    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.

    She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"

    When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said,
    "OH, okay, I don't keep up with that stuff". . .

    (She can vote!)

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    I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.

    I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."

    He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

    Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific . . ."

    (He ALSO votes!)

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    My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore.

    She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving. . . "

    She ALSO votes!

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    My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.

    She keeps it in the trunk.

    My sister ALSO votes!

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    My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.

    The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount...

    (He ALSO votes!)
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    I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.

    My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?"

    I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

    (sigh... my friend ALSO votes!)

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    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

    She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.

    "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

    (She sadly ALSO votes!)

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    LOL
    V

  2. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    VERY FUNNY...cROM
  3. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    ... so more can read these. They're great.
  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Dropped into a beachfront restaurant and asked for a table. Was told they were full. "Well, maybe we could reserve a table for later."

    "I'm sorry. We don't take reservations....But I could add your name to my list."



    I don't know if she voted or not. (She was pretty young.)

    ________________________

    At the office, kidding the electrician who is doing something with wires.

    "Have you ever been electrocuted?"

    "Yes, three times."

    __________________________

    At H & R Block.
    "I didn't work at all last year. I collected disability pay. Would I still need to file?"

    "Just bring in your W2s, Honey. We'll take care of everything."

    _________________

    Secretary, holding up one of the boss's snapshots of a sunset in Hawaii.

    "Wow, this would make a great picture!"
  5. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Thanks for the smiles!
  6. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I ran into a couple one day while out shopping, older couple. They started chit chatting. It was the next day after Clinton was Elected into office. I made a joke about Ross Perot's ears and they asked who he was.......

    I said he ran for president. They asked if he won and I said No, Bill Clinton did. Well they said, then this Ross is the Vice president? I said NO, Al Gore is....they said Al Who......????
    =======================
    At the check out at the Grocery Store......the young male cashier was talking to the bagger and she asked if his shirt was new. Cashier said Yes, I got it at the Gap. She asked if it was 50% off as they were having a sale. He said I do not know how many % off it was, but it was half price.......I said WHOA........the shirt was 50 % off on a 100% priced shirt.its original price stands for 100% so if it is half priced.....it is half off...it is 50% off as 50% is half of 100%.....he stood listening to me and thinking and was quiet for a few seconds and said.....I do not know as I do not understand it....the bagger was laughing her head off.
    Thank God they only hire ones with at least high dipolmas at this store?????
    I said I am glad you use a scanner and the regiter tells you how much cash to give me back........
    ==============
    I can tell you more like this.....HEY....I do not want these folks to vote!!!!!!!!!!
  7. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    But the sad thing is, hardly anyone votes. The U.S. has horrible voter turn-out rates.

    Sorry for the reality check. I seem to be in an overly serious mood.


    ;)

  8. victoria

    victoria New Member

    but on the other hand, it is a sad statement about the level of education I guess that so many of us run into these things... I know I have, just don't remember them, LOL!

    I HAVE seen people interviewed 'on the street' who have no real idea of even who the current President is, let alone V.P., or anyone else in the gov't...

    I am hoping most if not all of these people do NOT vote, as we do have a low voting rate in this country...

    ;/
    V

    PS: Acesnanna, I hope you confined your shopping to a mall at least, hehe!