OT Just for fun

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by chickadee, Aug 22, 2006.

  1. chickadee

    chickadee New Member

    True Doctor Stories

    A man comes into the ER and yells,
    "My wife's going to
    have her baby in the
    cab!" I grabbed my stuff,
    rushed out to the cab,
    lifted the lady's --Dress,
    and began to take off her
    underwear. Suddenly I
    noticed that there were
    several cabs, and I was
    in the wrong one.

    --Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

    At the beginning of my shift
    I placed a stethoscope on
    an elderly and
    slightly deaf female patient's
    anterior chest wall.
    Big breaths," I
    instructed. Yes, they used to be,"
    replied the patient.

    --Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

    One day I had to be the bearer
    of bad news when I told
    a wife that her
    husband had died of a massive
    myocardial infarct. Not
    more than five minutes
    later, I heard her reporting
    to the rest of the family
    that he had died of a
    "massive internal fart."

    --Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

    I was performing a complete physical,
    including the
    visual acuity test. I
    placed the patient twenty
    feet from the chart and
    began, "Cover your right
    eye with your hand." He read
    the 20/20 line perfectly.
    Now your left."
    Again, a flawless read. Now both,"
    I requested. There
    was silence. He
    couldn't even read the
    large E on the top line. I
    turned and discovered that
    he had done exactly what
    I had asked; he was standing
    there with both his
    eyes covered. I was laughing
    too hard to finish the exam.

    --Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

    During a patient's two week
    follow-up appointment with
    his cardiologist, he
    informed me, his doctor,
    that he was having trouble
    with one of his
    medications. Which one?"
    I asked. The patch. The nurse
    told me to put on a
    new one every six hours and
    now I'm running out of
    places to put it!" I had
    him quickly undress and
    discovered what I hoped I
    wouldn't see. Yes, the man
    had over fifty patches on his body! Now the
    instructions include removal of
    the old patch before applying a new one.

    --Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

    While acquainting myself with
    a new elderly patient, I
    asked, "How long have
    you been bed-ridden?"
    After a look of complete
    confusion she answered ....
    Why, not for about twenty years
    -- when my husband was alive."

    --Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

    I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked,
    So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
    It's very good, except for the Kentucky
    Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,"
    the patient replied. I then asked to see the
    jelly and the woman produced a foil packet
    labeled "KY Jelly."

    --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

    And Finally . . . .

    A new, young MD doing his
    residency in OB was quite
    embarrassed performing
    female pelvic exams. To cover
    his embarrassment he had
    unconsciously formed
    a habit of whistling softly.

    The middle aged lady upon whom
    he was performing this
    exam suddenly burst
    out laughing and further
    embarrassed him. He looked up
    from his work and
    sheepishly said, "I'm sorry.
    Was I tickling you?"

    She replied, "No doctor,
    but the song you were
    whistling was 'I wish I was
    an Oscar Meyer Wiener."

    --won't admit his name

    These are too funny to be made up!!
    They're a hoot...pass em along
  2. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    Those tickled my funny bone today. A real treat.


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