My ex-husband, my daughter's father keep hurting us even though he's gone from the home. how? By ignoring the children on their birthdays, and holidays, coming with all kinds of lies and excuses after the fact (still with not as much as a card). I was "nice" enough to remind him ahead of time (100 or so miles away) to at least send a card to his daughter for christmas. I tell him I save cards for the children to look at as they grow up, a family tradition. I have never scoulded him for treating them like dirt, and I have never given him a reason to "punish" any of us. I have carried my anger with dignity, handeling the relation like a separated parent should, without dragging up the past, ever. I am MAD and could kill him with my bare hands, how the h-ll can you hurt children like that? My son goes to a counselor because of the depression he carries from his step fathers lies and confuising behavior. My ex. is diagnosed as a pathological liar by the VA, if anyone ever met one, you might have a clue how it is to deal with one. Not to mention him making pretty darn good money, while me and the children live on the amazing $546.00/ month from the state since I can't work. The child support that he wines and complains about (only 285) goes to the state as long as I depend on welfare. It doesn't matter, he couldn't even send a jacket to his daughter when she was sick alot from the cold and it was freezing temps outside. I am so frustrated and dissapointed! I also want to keep my children from further pain from his ignorance? How do you deal with such things for the sake of the children? I am not used to this kind of stuff since I am from another country. Do I just cut off the ties with him to keep the children from getting hurt by his "come-when I feel like it" attitude" (about 2-3 times a year), or what do I do? Someone have to protect those kids, but what is protection then? HELP!