A distraught man went to a psychiatrist. He exclaimed, "Doctor, I believe that I am possessed by an evil spirit." After talking to the patient at some length, the psychiatrist said, "You do appear to have a problem. I'd like to see you again next Wednesday." After a second session of psychotherapy, the psychiatrist pronounced his patient completely cured. For the next nine months, however, the psychiatrist sent the man a monthly statement for his professional services, but the man wouldn't pay and refused to acknowledge the debt. Finally, the psychiatrist took the man to court and had him repossessed. -------------- Hypochondria is the only illness that I don't have. --------- I've always been a hypochondriac. As a little boy, I'd eat my M&M's one by one with a glass of water. ---------- Patient to his psychiatrist: "Doctor I can't remember anything anymore! I forgot what happened yesterday; I forgot what my car looked like when I came out of the store; I sometimes don't even remember my own name! Psychiatrist: How long have you had this problem? Patient: "Huh? What problem?"