OT simple home remedies

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sues1, Sep 7, 2006.

  1. sues1

    sues1 New Member


    > > AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
    > >
    > > 1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
    > > from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
    > > button.

    > > 2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
    > > will be afraid to cough.

    > > 3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
    > > someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    > > 4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
    > > simply using the sink.

    > > 5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for

    > > a three minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to
    > > use a timer.

    > > 6. Have a bad headache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
    > > forget about the headache.

    > > Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
    > > You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
    > > should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct
    tape.

    > > Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    > > Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

    > > If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

    > > And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know
    > > when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
    ===============
    ALSO remeber to laugh every day and not take silly advice from idiots.

    Blessings to all from a "Idiot"
  2. myalgiamania

    myalgiamania New Member

    our family loves humor and my husband and two boys are always making me laugh.

    a crew member goes up to the captain of a pirate ship and say's "i hear we are going to be attacked matie" and the captian replied "bring me my red shirt" and after the battle the crew member walked up to the captian and asked "why did u want me to bring you your red shirt?" the captain relpied "because if i was killed in battle i wouldn't want my crew to know i was dead" so the next day the crew member said to the captain "50 ships are just over the horizon" so the captain replied "bring me my brown pants". lol God Bless!
  3. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I really LOLed......on the pirate joke.

    I have three sons. A source of great times and fun. Get togethers is a fun time here. Lots of laughs and good natured teasing also.

    In fact one of my sons does some stand up comedy. A hobby, not his career. He is well recieved and enjoys it. I know he gets this from the way he was raised! LOL.

    Susan
  4. myalgiamania

    myalgiamania New Member

    My son actually wrote that joke for me cause he's up too...we both can't sleep.

    we have a friend that we met on a cruise ship. he was the comedian on the ship that trip...his name is Mike Ivy...
    he's written for the Chapel Show. well he's suppose to come to florida next month to perform somewhere.

    we hope he does cause we haven't seen him in a long time. he used to hold my younger son by his ankles to shake the change out of his pockets, cause on the ship my son would always ask for quarters for the video games. now my son is 14...i don't think he'd be able to do that anymore.lol

    once we took him to walmart and it was histerical. he threw my son in the huge bin that held pillows. he had everyone in the store laughing with all of his humor.

    you are so right about being able to laugh. it sure helps with all of this pain. fibro fog is fun that way. the other day i was walking around cvs and realized that i did not want to be in this store...i meant to go to walmart down the street...i quietly put back my carriage and told the girl at the counter that they were out of milk. lol!it is 4:00am and my son and I are watching Pee Wees Playhouse.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2006]
  5. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I am still not asleep. Actually I have been sleeping more nights lately.

    No rain in forecast, I checked, because I feel like it is going to. Very sore.achey-breaky. You know the feeling I am sure! My DH says he trusts my feelings over weather forecasts. But no bad weather in forecast.

    Children can sure be our greatest joy. All of mine are grown and have their own homes, etc. I miss them being little and at home.

    OH....they (radio) just said we might get some rain later. First I heard that. So even if it is just a front....that is whats causing me this misery. We are tough you know! Just gotta go with the flow. Even if we sleep during the day....LOL.

    I love the CVS..Wal Mart story. We all do such!

    One day I left a store and went to unlock my car. I always lock it. I did not hear the click and kept trying. All of a sudden I realize that I was locking and unlocking it repeatly...and to top that....the car window was down. !!

    A amn walking past me had slowed down and even stopped. I turned and he had a puzzled look on his face. I smiled and said "It is working okay now for sure. I had a problem with it earlier". Oh...he said as he then walked on.

    See, we may be brain dead in some ways and yet clever enough to cover it up at times. LOL.

    I often sit with both my cell phone and cordless phone by me...TV remote and calculator if I am paying bills. I sometimes pick up the wrong gadget to do the opposite of what I want to do. Ever try to answer a TV remote instead of a phone? LOL.

    Could you and the boys all be suffering from the mold you mentioned in your profile? Need a special Dr. for that.

    Keep smiling.........Susan
    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2006]
  6. simplicity

    simplicity New Member

    Still laughing!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks so much,
    Simplicity