OT: Sister with bad health never goes to a doc, ever!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lenasvn, Jan 13, 2006.

  1. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I spoke to mom over the phone. My sister never goes to the doctor, don't know why. It is obvious that she suffered from high blood pressure for many years, severe migraines, probably Sjogrens and arthritis. Who knows what else she has? She is 44, works too much. She started loosing weight, she is fatigued, she got chronic constipation for years (severe). She stopped smoking a couple of weeks ago (yeye!). Two days ago she called mom and said her legs had swollen up so much she couldn't bend them, went to work, pull the big smile as usual. i sent her some info on what happens to the body when you have untreated hypertension, RA, etc. She always knows best, always acts above the rest of us, but can be sweet as honey (confusing, yes!). Her excuse for her swollen legs to me? The detoxification of her smoking. Bull, she just won't go to the doc, as usual. Is she suicidal or what? What is it with people who won't go to the doc, but just suffer from the effects of their illnessess? I just don't get it?! She makes me mad. I don't feel sorry for her anymore, she is so highly intelligent, why does she act like a fool with her own health? Why have almost daily migraines if you can get help? Why risk strokes (runs in family) because of hypertension? Who knows how high her BP is? Mom got a BP cuff at the house, she won't even let her check it for "fun". Can any of you tell me what is going on with my sister and her refusal to go to the doctor, ever? The greatest mystery of all needs to be solved. I really just want to slap her. We have alot of bad illnessess in the family, fatal if not kept up with. I really love my sister, but this is driving me up the wall.
  2. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Maybe she's scared of getting bad news? Or afraid that doctors will just make her feel worse? Afraid of misdiagnosis or getting the wrong treatment? Or believes she has something serriously wrong with her and doesn't want to know for sure?

    Just ideas. Has she talked to anyone about this? I had to do counselling myself for my fear of doctors. If she's had a bad experience with doctors in the past, or has known someone who has, that can cause a person to be this way. Or if she's scared there is something serrious going on, it might feel safer to her not to know about it.

    Would she see a counsellor to talk about it? Or would a naturopath seem less threatening to use rather than an MD?
    Please let us know how it goes with her!!! She shouldn't have to suffer this way, and it must be very hard for you to watch. (((gentle hugs)))
  3. minimonkey

    minimonkey New Member

    That is exactly what I was thinking --

    I know I stopped going to docs except when absolutely necessary many years ago (that recently changed) because I was so frustrated with having my pain blown off as "stress" and being sent home with aspirin!!!
  4. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    The problem is she doesn't give a yota for some reason. Maybe she think sick people are weak. She always thought my mother was weak (although most people are "below" her) and my mother have alot of health problems that she DOES get help with.My dad never goes to the doc either. Some people just are like that, I don't think it has anything to do with fear, at all. She haven't been to a doc since she got her last shot as a child.
    [This Message was Edited on 01/13/2006]
  5. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I think my sister might end up just like yo said about your sisters. Or so late that there is too much damage done.
  6. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    My husband is like that, I think it is a control thing. He had a prescription for blood pressure pills that he got in July and he still had it up until last week. I kept bugging him about getting it refilled.
    Well, guess what! The doctor won't refill it until he comes in to be seen to (which I don't really agree with).
  7. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Your sister will not go to the doctor because she is afraid of what she will hear.

    My husband is the exact way. We have been married for nearly 35 years. He has only been to the doctor 3 times--and all were emergencies.

    He has smoked all his life. He refuses to have his blood pressure checked, chlorestrol level taken, chest xray, or anything. I know it is all from fear. His family has a lot of medical problems that could be hereditary. He said when it's his time to die, he'll just die. I try to convince him that he doesn't want to suffer the entire time he is waiting to die, which is what he will end up doing!

    He also refuses to take any medications. He has to be about ready to pass out from the pain before he will take a Motrin or Tylenol! He has had the flu for a week and a half, coughed all night long, etc., but refused any cough syrup. So, I told him that he was a fool if he just wanted to cough his head off all night, just go ahead a do so!

    Some people are just like that. No explanations on how to figure them out!! So I quit trying!!

    Hugs,
    Janet
  8. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I think I have just quit trying to figure it out. I just wanted to see if anybody else had this experience. It just doesn't make sense, especially not with a highly intelligent person like her. But, it's the same with dad, his IQ is genious level, but he WON't go to a doc. Once he did, that was when he couldn't pee anymore (enlarged prostate, removed emmediately). Good Heavens,,,LOL!