OT some LAUGHS for the end of the week

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Jun 29, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Be sure to read the response at the end, it's from a fellow CFIDS/FM sufferer!

    WARNING: Sam's Club Scam
    _______________________________
    If you shop at Sam's Club and Costco, this may be useful to know or pass on to your family/friends.

    Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 23-year-old well-built guys come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both are shirtless and start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their highly-defined chest muscles and rock-hard abs exposed. It's impossible not to look.

    When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Sam's Club or Costco. You agree and they get in the back seat.

    On the way, they start talking dirty about what they want to do to you. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and begins kissing your neck and begs you to pull over so he can make love to you!!

    While this is going on the other guy steals your purse!!

    I had my purse stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely tomorrow. I'm running out of purses....

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    from my friend:
    I really needed that ray of hope today, thanks!.

    Okay ladies, I have a suggestion, go to all of the garage sales in your neighborhood this weekend. You can probably pick up lots of purses for a song. As for me, my daughter just cleaned out my closet and there are about 10 purses that she told me I no longer need and directed them to the give-away bag, divine intervention, I would say. Now I have plenty of purses to use!

    However, my husband wouldn't renew our Sam's card because the store is too large and hard for me to tackle. I am going to tell him that the shingles, vasculitis, and neuropathy, not to mention the other CFS stuff, have miraculously cleared up and I will start driving again.

    Then off I will go in my new Volvo with a purse or two, maybe there won't be any young ladies around and the money will be more important to those boys than age. See you there sooner or later, more than likely later.

    I will be the one in the corner of the parking lot dangling a colorful purse out the window as I sleep on the steering wheel. . . wake me up if you see me?

    --------------------------------------------------------------
    NEW Test for Dementia
    Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.

    To get accurate results, you can't take your time --
    you MUST answer them with the first thing that comes into your head!

    Now, let's find out just how clever you really are.

    Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)
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    First Question:

    You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person.

    What position are you in?
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    Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!

    If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

    Try not to screw up in the next question. . .

    To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question! Intuitive reasoning usually provides the correct answer...
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    Second Question:

    If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
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    > Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again.

    Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

    You're not very good at this, are you.........


    OK now for the Third Question:


    Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Don't be afraid... try it.

    Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
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    Scroll down for answer.
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    ---- Did you get 5000?

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    The correct answer is actually 4100.


    Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!

    Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right................


    Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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    Answer: Nunu?

    NO! Of course not --
    Her name is Mary. Read the question again!


    Okay, now the bonus round:


    There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

    Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
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    .................. He just has to open his mouth and ask.

    So simple, really, isn't it?

    Maybe this will give you the key to why you are feeling stressed out lately, however....

    KEEP THIS GOING --
    TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!


    Hope you all had fun!
    Victoria


    [This Message was Edited on 06/29/2006]
  2. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    You always keep me laughing and you do so much research for the boards too!!!

    Thanks for everything,

    Nancy B.
  3. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Cute...thanks...

    A story I was told, but probably not true, but delightful to think of:

    In a area were purse snatching were going on, a elderly lady put her money in her pocket to go shopping but she took a purse that she no longer used.

    After a few times doing this.....her purse was taken, by someone that ran by her.
    Inside the purse was a note...."I expected this purse to be taken, there fore I emptied it. Ha Ha on you".

    Susan[This Message was Edited on 06/29/2006]
  4. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I find that my mind sometimes functions quite well and other times not quite so well...

    it is that inconsistency that drives me crazy tho!

    I used to carry all my cash in my pockets when I lived in the city - did have my purse picked once and outright stolen once -- I'm sure they were vastly disappointed. But they were crazy in the first place - or really desperate - trying to steal from me, an obvious starving student/artist!

    V






    [This Message was Edited on 06/30/2006]
  5. sisland

    sisland New Member

    Victoria

    Love the sams club story!! had me thinking how many purses do i have sitting around in the closet with nothing to do!! lollol..........................sisland
  6. UnicornK

    UnicornK New Member

    But one question...


    Why does a blind man need sunglasses???

    God Gless