OT :"Ten Deep Thoughts to help your mood"

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mrpain, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    1) What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
    2) Change is inevitable, except for vending machines.
    3) OK,.....so what is the speed of dark?
    4) When everything is coming your way, your in the wrong lane.
    5) Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
    6) Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
    7) I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
    8) Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
    9) 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
    10) 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

    [This Message was Edited on 07/27/2006]
  2. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    Believe it or not some of these were really deep thoughts for me LOL. Boy, am I getting slow.

    These were great..especially liked nbrs 1 and 4. And, I always wondered about statistics..I always thought "according to whom".

    Thanks for making me laugh and think!!

  3. foggyfroggy

    foggyfroggy Guest

    I read another on a list sent to me that said:

    Celebrate bacteria - it's all the culture some people have

    Just think, many of us at least have lots of culture!
  4. blessedmom2four

    blessedmom2four New Member

    thanks for the laugh, i needed that
  5. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    which flavor?

  6. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    George Carlin and Dave Barry to me. (Two great sources.)

    Dave says 61% of todays' high school students, nearly half, do not understand fractions.
  7. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    A balance diet does NOT mean a hamburger in each hand!
  8. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    ...all of you. Oddly enough, they make perfect sense to me. That's really scary.

  9. victoria

    victoria New Member

    he's hilarious to hear, because he delivers the lines in a very deadpan style... here's some more I like:

    Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

    Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

    A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

    The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

    The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

    The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. (So I guess I have all the time in the world, hehe!)

    A fool and his money are soon partying.

    Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

    Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

    I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"

    Last but not least, one of my favorites:

    Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth.
    On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

  10. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    Only if you like this sort of thing....Some of them aren't as good as some..............................

    1)Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
    2)A day without sunshine is like...night.
    3)He who laughs last thinks slowest.
    4)A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
    5)Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
    6)Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    7)Just remember- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
    8)If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
    9)Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
    10)Remember, half the people you know are below average, and where ever you go, there you are.

    OK; I'm done... Sorry for starting this!
  11. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    He is a walking oxymoron:

    A mournful comic!
  12. victoria

    victoria New Member

    rockgor -that is what makes him totally perfect for us!!!!

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