OT to Cheating Husbands UPDATEREAD please..

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Cinlou, Sep 26, 2006.

  1. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member

    Oh my good grief!! To those of you who suspected my husband as the culprit, you were 100% correct!

    I did not call the wife I called her husband, left a message about the situation (as My husband leads me to believe). and said I needed to talk to him about this or I was going t his wife...

    He called back early Sunday morning, and said he knew nothing about this! I told him he needed to get the story right....or I was call his wife too...He called my husband.

    Well, my husband called me said he had a one night stand and it meant nothing to him it was no big deal!!OMG..

    We have have been married for 18 years! He is an alcohlic, I have tried to get him to stop, get help, therapy, AA anything...through the years I have cried, screamed,what ever I could do to get him to get help..to think he lied and implicated his friend is just sick...it was not a one night stand, he even called her when he took me to the hospital for surgery, 11 days ago! Also this Saturday...
    this was the straw that broke the camal's back..

    I am sure his friend has done the same thing to his wife..

    Well, I went and filed for a divorce yesterday...it cost me $ 3,400.00!

    The really really sad thing is his mother said some really horrible things about me that were all lies to our daughter...It hurts, she had no business saying what she said...I called that woman right back and told her some few choice words what I thought about her...she even knowing what her son had done..

    Well, she has been deleted from my speed dial!! I have crossed that women off, and it feels good!

    All of you are so wise..thank you so much for your replies...

    Keep me and my kids in your thoughts, my daughter is 17, my son 21...they have suffered because of his drinking all these years....I feel badly that I did not leave him when they were little...I should have....but that I can not change..

    I did go to the my doctor to be checked for any STD'S..I cannot believe he would put my health at risk...
    ((I Need Some Hugs)))

    [This Message was Edited on 09/26/2006]
  2. misskoji

    misskoji Member

    I'm so so so so so so so so sorry! Please stop the blaming of yourself for anything! It is his wrong, not yours. Men, can never trust them! I'm so sorry hun, I can't say how sorry I am! My ex was a jerk too!

    I had a feeling this was the situation when I read your last post, but I didn't want to worry you in case it wasn't. You're better and stronger than him hun! Don't forget it! And i bet it felt great to say a few choice words to your MIL!

    Stay strong hun!
    [This Message was Edited on 10/02/2006]
  3. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I understand you far more than I am willing to say. I to have had the husband that drank and went out each night. He spent more time at the bar than he did at home. I remember going in to labor and had to have a friend take me to the bar to get him to take me to the hospital. But he was far to wasted to drive me there.

    Thankfully it was a false alarm but I have had times when he has come to the hospital drunk and I have asked the nurse's to make him leave. Although if you were to ask him it never happened. And I have made up the whole story .

    I know that this has to be so very painful for you as stress also makes you ache and hurt more.And I learned that just from the worring I once did in wondering just where he was and who was with him I would get really sick and have ended up in the hospital .

    Thankfully he did stop drinking but he still has that mentality. He is right even when he is wrong and there is nothing you can say to convince him other wise. I have learned to take what he says with a grain of salt , it is hard to know when he is teasing and when he is not.

    We have been through some really good times and some really bad times and times were I knew that this marriage was not going to work but now at 26 years of marriage I know that it is working but it does take a lot of work.

    As for the cheating husband that is up to each person that it happenes to. For some a spouse can cheat just one time and the other will forgive him for this mistake. But it it happenes twice he is out of there.

    So know that you are careed for and loved. And take the time you need to get things done. Try not to worry about life after huaband, as you will be just find and I know that you will be ok.

    OH and be sure to make it that he has to pay for the divorce, in my state if my husband was cheating on me I could ask the judge to make him pay for not only his atterney but for mine as well .

    Plus alimony, child suporrt, and houseing and even health insurance till you can get it for your self. And if you have children under 18 he will have to pay child support and that can cost a bit depeneding on where you live.

    I am so sorry that you have having to go through this.
  4. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member

    I'm so sorry hon...

    I was reading the first thread and knew in my soul that this man was a liar among other things...I didn't post for fear of what I might write but some said enough to get your attention and steer you in the right direction...

    I feel so for you but you now know the TRUTH and you can now get through it...Your 2 children are your life and that creep is the stuff on the bottom of your shoe...

    No woman should have to go through this pain...Men (and many women, some I know) that lie and cheat aren't worth our energy...

    I am one who would never forgive this behavior, no matter what their 'excuse'...It's always the wife's fault, or they are stressed, blah, blah, blah...All excuses...

    I am proud of you for going straight to file for a divorce, $3400 and some time will get rid of a thorn in your side...

    You are well on your way to the life you so deserve...

    You Go Girl!!! Don't look back!!! Proud to know of such a strong woman such as you...Someone is watching over you and your kids, wishing you peaceful days ahead~Alicia
    [This Message was Edited on 09/27/2006]
  5. eeyoreblue02

    eeyoreblue02 Member

    I am so sorry. I have been in your shoes. My ex cheated on me for years. after we divorced he married the most recent girlfriend and has now been cheating on her for a few years.

    What goes around, comes around.


  6. Hootie1

    Hootie1 New Member

    We are all here for you! Please try to hang in there as you are definately doing the right thing. Find strength right now if you can and know that you have many people that care for you.

    There are good things in store for you, please know that they will come. This is a very good first step.

    Please stay on the board to find comfort while you are going through this.
  7. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I'm really sorry about this.
    You may find that you are going to go threw alot of emotions very fast.PLEASE take care of YOU and your health FIRST.Try to keep a good attitude and look at the positives there are some and you know what they are in your heart.NO MORE LIE.

    you may even realize you had alot of underlineing stresses that you just never confronted till now.
    Do not blame yourself.Keep a clear head and teach your children threw everthing you do that there is more to this life ,move on and find happyiness and health .Looks like once you throw out the old baggage you have a wonderful chance at a much better life.


    you will get threw this stay strong and know we are here for you to vent!
  8. Lendy5

    Lendy5 New Member

    Dear cinlou - I am so sorry you are going though this and didn't want to say it in the last post but I had a feeling he was not being truthful.

    I am so glad you told your MIL a few choice words. She had no right to say anything to your daughter.

    As I told you in the last thread I went through this too after we had been together for 13 years and his mother had a nerve to spread horrible rumors about me. I didn't know she was doing this but after I found him she told me all the horrible things she had spread about me.

    She thought my marriage failing was all my fault and after it was out in the open she said she went back to the people she told and said it was not my fault, that it was his. Duh!

    Please know that there are better days ahead and I will most definitely keep you and your children in my thoughts and prayers.

    Please make sure that the court orders him to pay alimony, child support and all attorney fees. You can actually sue the other lady as well.

    Good Luck to you!
  9. Mini4Me

    Mini4Me New Member

    I know it hurts, but you did the right thing. Time to move on and start a new life. You're worth it!
  10. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    I will keep you and your family in prayer. Terri

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