Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shep, Dec 27, 2005.

  1. shep

    shep New Member

    I just wanted to take the time to say "thank you."
    I read a lot more post than I post, and something you have said in your post has helped me sooooo much.
    Let me begin by saying I am female, 56, married 32 years and no children. I have had fibro since my late 40's; but only d/x in 1995. I have been on a long and horrible trip over the last 10 yrs.
    My dad died after being sick with cancer only 3 months in 95; that same yr. I had to quit my job of 18 yrs. I worked with mentally challenged children. I was in so much pain, I just could not do my job. My mom also had fibro and she had a heart condition and diabetes. I got up each day to go see her and care for her and go places with her, ect. She has always been my best friend and rock. Our daily relationship filled the void of my job.
    When I went to vist on July 21, 2001 I found she had passed on in her sleep. I rejoiced in the fact she was no longer in the misery of the dd; but I was completly broken. I some how made it through the next three days of rituals we feel we have to do and then I went to bed and have stayed there.
    I would get up to bathe maybe every 2-3 days and go to the bathroom and eat and go back to bed. My poor hubby who is sick himself with low b/s and has seizures when it drops too low just didn't know what to do. The doctors put me on one med then another and then another back and forth. The only time I got up and got dressed and left the house was to go to the doctor.
    But ..God was keeping his eye on me..I am so thankful. I am sure mama was at work also. I kept reading .."get out of the bed, get dressed and do something everyday no matter what"... "even if you just go to the mall and walk around" "I was at the point I was housebound, but never again" these words just leaped off the pages at me.
    I said all that to say this, "You have helped me to get out of bed and take a shower and get dressed." I am not where you are yet, but I am coming out of hibernation. I don't know if you read the Bible or not and don't want to offend you --but the Apostole Paul wrote about his friend Timothy "I thank my God upon every remembrance of your name." I ditto.
    Another good thing that has happened. I told the Lord, "Well I need something living and breathing to get up for." My hubby doesn't like to be touched!? So, two weeks later a casual acquaintance gave me a little girl Schnauzer..Zoe.
    So, even though I am in pain and still deeply depressed, I wanted you to know that you have made a difference.
    I believe in giving flowers to the living.. because flowers on the grave..the dead do not see!

  2. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Thank you for writing...

    As a matter of fact I have been praying and receiving many miracles in the past three weeks. I cannot explain what is going on but I am really getting better. I feel I need to share here and give hope to those who feel hopeless.

    For anyone who says they wonder if they will always be like they are, I say no - but it takes work.

    For many months during the time I was "gradually" improving, I wanted to tell my story here and it was too painful to remember how terrible my life had been. I would start to write and delete my post so many times. I had deep fears of going backwards.

    After being so sick for so many years, when you begin to get better, there is a major psychological reaction to deal with. It is hard to explain.

    As respects to me saying I had to get out of the house every day - I actually developed what you might call compulsive behavior, however my wonderful doctor thought it was just fine.

    I literally "could not" stay at home during the day, that means 7 days a week. My sweet husband just got used to me getting up each morning, dressed, and out the door within 30 minutes from the time I got out of bed. Too funny huh?

    I would spend the entire day away from home each day and meet my husband for dinner around 7pm each day. We would then go home together and I would be ok.

    It is not fun to have compulsive behaviors but there was a reason. I had to develop new habits.

    For many years I have been interested in the Catholic religion. (I was raised a Babtist) - I began studying Catholicism via the internet. I started praying the rosary each day - there is a website called virtual rosary. Don't ask me why or how I did this but I did.

    Anyway, that is when the miracles began. Nothing could have helped me I know it. Even my husband knows there has been a miracle.

    Just know this, you WILL get better and you will be shown the way for that to happen. This may not happen overnight - just deal with one day at a time.

    Shep, I honestly do think prayer will lift the depression in time. I was also depressed, who would not be?

    Remember to do things you enjoy - if it is needlework, crosswords, anything to occupy your mind while you are getting better. It take time. If you go out each day, take a big tote bag with something to do (needlework, easy crosswords). Indulge yourself - buy new clothes - (that is my stage now).

    I am sorry about your mom. I undertand - I started really falling apart when I had three people close to me die in a three month period. My dear aunt, my dear elderly friend (I was taking care of), and my neighbor's mom I knew. I do not handle loss well. My own mother is 90 and in "assisted living". She also has fibro and degenerative disc disease -with excrutiating pain. Thank goodness we have a very good pain doctor for her - I don't know what we would do.

    On top of everything I have a business I have built up over the last ten years but I have help there. My husband and a full time account exec.

    I will close this for now - but I will say the one thing you need to do is find a good doctor to help you control the pain. That was the only way I was able to begin getting better.

    There is no reason at all for you to suffer with pain. There are many good meds to help.

    Take care

    [This Message was Edited on 12/28/2005]
  3. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

  4. PVLady

    PVLady New Member