OT WARNING to ALL WOMEN- A REMINDER Funny!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Mar 25, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I have posted this before, but it bears repeating!

    Warn all your female friends.. an older good friend just emailed me this out of the kindness of her heart just to warn me - so I am passing this on because I consider you all my friends!

    Please, pass this warning on to ALL of your good friends!

    -------------------------------------
    "Sadly, this coming a little too late for me -
    but please, watch yourselves before it is too late for YOU! This is well worth the read, because to be forewarned is to be forearmed.....

    This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet, and an explanation to those friends and family who have.

    Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on.
    While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is NOT --

    It IS happening EVERY day. My thighs were STOLEN from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick!

    I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. WHO would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?

    Whose thighs WERE these and what happened to MINE? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

    Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again!

    My butt was next. I know it was the same gang because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

    It was only two years ago when I realized my arms had next been switched! One morning I was fixing my hair, and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper rms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.

    This was REALLY getting scary. . .
    My body was being replaced one section at a time!!! How clever and fiendish!!!

    Age? --Age had NOTHING to do with it!! Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity.

    NO, this was different! I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?

    Well, all too quickly I found out. My poor neck next disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.

    I decided to tell my story because I can't take on the medical profession and thieves all by myself. So --

    WOMEN OF THE WORLD --
    wake up and smell the coffee!!!

    That really is NOT plastic that those surgeons are using. . . You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?

    SO -- The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again. . . Was it lifted fromYOU???

    I think I finally found my thighs...
    and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

    This is not a hoax!!
    This IS happening!!!
    And it is happening to women in EVERY town EVERY night!

    WARN YOUR FRIENDS !!!

    P.S. . . I must say that last year I thought someone had finally also stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept -- Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
    ---------------------------------


    Remember ladies,
    to be forewarned is to be forearmed, hehehe!

    all the best,
    Victoria



    [This Message was Edited on 03/25/2006]
  2. findmind

    findmind New Member

    Thank you! that is hilarious! I was a skinny 92 pounds after a year of FM; then I got CFS and with the lying around all the time, I slowly started to gain wt....

    Of course everyone told me how great I was looking with the added wt...!!!

    By the 10th year, I actually looked "normal" but was very very sick. Then dad, 2 best friends, and mom died, and it took a big toll on me...

    I started gaining wt and was depressed, I guess and now here I am, the woman you described! Never had such big boobs, butt, thighs! I do really watch my calories now, do not want high blood pressure after it was 90/50 for 10 years!

    The mottled skin is so hard to take! I cover my arms always now, but my hands give me away LOL....my SO says they look like a lizard's, so wrinkley and veiny!

    Ah, the sick life...its worse than growing old...but growing old while sick is no darn fun!

    Thanks for the good laugh! :))

    findmind
  3. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    OMG - just hysterical, nearly wet myself laughing.

    I too have had most of my parts "stolen" and replaced.

    Michelle
  4. spmary

    spmary New Member

    Thanks for the reminder, Victoria.I'm afraid those fiends have been after me too. But I have my faithful watergun and precious little Jack Russell,"Penny", to protect me, so we will be ready and on the lookout! LOL,Mary
  5. mlp1954

    mlp1954 New Member

    That is so funny. So true and so funny. Pat