OT: WE MUST STOP THIS CONSPIRACY

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kirbycat, Sep 7, 2006.

  1. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    We Must Stop This Immediately!

    Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

    And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

    I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

    I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection.........Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

    Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

    Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

    The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

    I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

    All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

    PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

    PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were.
  2. mindbender

    mindbender New Member

    Yes!, We need to create an underground sufferers coalition! and fast before the wave of corruption over takes us. Let's Hurry!
  3. Fredericka

    Fredericka New Member

    I love it! It's all too true, and something must be done at once.

    Shall we write our legislators?

    They'd likely just have us committed!!

    I keep wondering why this lady who resembles my mother keeps looking back at me from that distorted mirror!
  4. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    My grandchildren mock me in fun, the way I'm always patting the top of my head, looking for my reading glasses. I guess it is funny to see me when the ask me to look at something, I start patting my head. That would be hilarious to 6 and 9 year olds. So, I can't get mad, I would laugh too.

    Cathy
  5. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I look all over the house for the glasses that are already on my face. And then I wonder how they got there.

    This getting old thing, wasn't suppose to happen to me and only because I have grandsons would I have ever believe I wasn't my grandmother in that terrible hall mirror. :)

  6. TerryS

    TerryS Member

    Thanks for the laugh!!! You're quite talented!

    TERRY
  7. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    I've noticed that I must be getting stronger! I used to only be able to carry $10 worth of groceries. Now I can carry $80 worth!!

    Hugzz
    Greenbean

    Stop and smell the puppies!
  8. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hey, Kirbycat.

    All too sad and all too true.

    Gary Larson had a cartoon that showed a squashed fellow who'd been run over by the Old Age Truck.

    "And he never saw it comin'."
  9. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    I thought this would lighten us up a bit,

    I know about everything on the list.

    I sound like my grandmother(rip).

    Cathy
  10. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    I've been noticing that stuff too. Especially the way everybody whispers. I have to keep saying HUH? HUH?
  11. sascha

    sascha Member

    i was on my way to a doctor's appointment. on the way i was thinking about car appointment i must next make. then i switched back to thinking what i needed to talk to the doctor about. the first thing on my list was new windshielf wipers-

    so there you go. Great post! Sascha
  12. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    Yeah; Everytime I go to a class reunion, those people really look old!
  13. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    Yep, I thought everyone at my class reunion looked so old.
    I couldn't believe that all those guys that were hippies and druggies were working at the dry cleaners and mailmen. It just blew my mind. One was the firechief and I know for sure he was a big pot smoker.

    I just wonder how I looked to them....

    Too bad my body feels 90 and my mind feels 20.

    Life in the fast lane,
    Cathy
  14. lease79

    lease79 New Member

    I love it, that was great!!! :D
  15. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I got a picture..very old...that had my grandparents in it, very young they were. Granny had a tiny waist. I had never seen a picture of her at that age.

    I was thinking that I would never of recognized her so thin and young.

    Then I laughed when I realized that my grandchildren would think the same. I keep forgetting that I am not that attractive slim young gal anymore......Susan
  16. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    I used to see 'old' people, not turning their heads to back up. I said then, I think they just "go for it" when backing out of a driveway or parking space.

    I have found myself, not WANTING to turn my head cause it hurt so D##$$ much. I just look in the mirrors and 'hope for the best'.

    Am I the "old person"???

    Not too old, just feel like it...

    Cathy
  17. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    My DH has his 40th reunion this month. I am 6 years younger than he is so I figure all the other people will look old and I will look so much younger!

    The fact that I will have to sit down the entire time may make me look a little older, but it's either that or limp and wince and I don't think that would help the age thing!

    Hugzz
    Greenbean

    Stop and smell the puppies!
  18. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    Where did the time go???
  19. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

  20. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member