OT: What is it like living alone? Affects your health?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by fibrohugslife, Sep 20, 2006.

  1. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    Hello everyone,

    Well I will moving in about 6 months and will have my own place, my parents will be with me for a few months but they will be moving away to their retirement dream home and I will be on my own.

    I have NEVER lived alone before so it is really a big change me and I am little scared and excited. I know that I will not have my folks harping on me and I can just do things at my own pace.

    So I will not have the help like I used to have, like carrying things, leading me around the house, getting my meds for me, etc.

    How do so many of you cope with living alone? Get a cat? LOL

    I am trying to figure out how I am going to move my stuff but realized I have a massive project ahead of me in cleaning up and getting rid of things that I don't need.

    Please let me know and ease my anxiety.
  2. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    i have never ever lived alone,
    or hardly been alone - and i actually envy you - in a good way! he he
    yes, i think a pet would be great!
    i am a animal person my self w/ 4 dogs...
    but really for protection or watchdog atleast.
    . or a gun.. not to be paranoid-
    but this world isnt gettin any nicer.
    but wow!!
    what a wonderful chance you have now-
    to do projects and whatever talets you have and you can go around talking out loud with no one asking if your talking to yourself...
    man, i miss that...:)
    i know you will be ok.
    as for the lifting,
    hopefully there will be some good kids around who can help you out
    or a nice strong teen or something..:)
  3. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    Hello thank you so much. I guess I am concerned about being lonely when my parents move away permanently and then I am really on my own.

    I am hoping and praying that I will feel a little better and can work a little which would be great.
  4. DorothyVivian

    DorothyVivian New Member

    Although I've enjoyed my life of being married and having had two children; I think if I had it to do all over again, I'd plan to live alone and explore the world, do all sorts of creative things I haven't had the time to do. Also, every man I've been involved with, hasn't supported my interests and work and I've set myself aside far too much to go along with theirs. (Each of them initially said they were all for my independence and following my own interests--but, after being together for a time--they became more hindering, controlling and undermining.)

    I'm probably from your parents generation, and the traditional model of marriage and partnership was different than it is now. I know that many women today are more able to have their own interests, and follow their own careers as well as being married and having children--but still, I believe it is wise for a young woman to get well established in their own right before marrying and starting families.

    Sounds like you have a while before you move to gradually sort through things. So, if you get started now, you won't have as much time to build up a big anxiety. I find if I get started on big projects, even in a tiny way, the anxiety lessens or even disappears. Thinking and dreading what all I have to do, without taking action is a sure way to drive myself nuts! LOL I build it up in my imagination to a point I panic. Doing a tiny bit at a time helps me to do far more than I would ever have guessed I can do.

    I have to divide up big projects into smaller 'bites' and intersperse the tasks with special treats for myself like watching a DVD for a while, and then, sorting through my piles of rubble. (I'm a pack-rat and have to go through stuff, and ruthlessly throw stuff out or I get over-whelmed)I set a kitchen timer for a half hour--then rest--and then work another half hour or so. Getting a little something done on a daunting project helps me to feel a lot better.

    To prevent becoming too lonely, you might consider trying out some clubs based upon your deepest interests. That way, you'll be more likely to meet like-minded people--and if you don't--at least you'll be enjoying the activities.

    I keep a folder of things I'd like to do--clippings, pictures, etc. That way, when I get into a funk, I pull out my folder and find something to try out.

    These are just my suggestions..they've worked for me, but might not be right for you. Feel free to ignore them all.

    Best of luck on your great new adventure!!

    With love, Dorothy
    [This Message was Edited on 09/21/2006]
  5. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    I didn't live alone until I was over 40, because I was a nun before that. Let me tell you - you have a wonderful adventure ahead of you!

    I remember when I first lived alone. I really enjoyed being able to get up in the middle of the night and make a cup of tea, without worring about accidentally awakening someone. People used to get mad at me if the floor squeaked when I walked to the bathroom! (I tried floating, but it didn't work). I remember that first night in my new place - closing a cupboard door, noisily, just for the sheer joy of it.

    I got a dog and a cat. Now I have a Corgi, a cat, and an assistance dog. I feel safe and I get lots of company and laught from my pets. I have friends over occasionally and I enjoy it when they come. But the great thing is that I conrol when people come over. I am not forced by "good manners" to entertain others if I'm sick, just because they popped in, or because soemeone else invited them. I love the peace. I love being able to do things or not do things, with no one criticising or looking over my shoulder. The only expectations I feel I have to meet, are my own.

    If you have trouble remembering things, you can make some lists and put them on the fridge.

    Just be sure your rent and bills are paid, keep to your budget, use commonn sense, and love life!!! I can see loads of happiness and self satisfaction ahead for you. I think you will be surprised at how easily things fall into place. Just do one thing at a time. Treasure each moment. I'm so very happy for you!!!

    Have a fun time, with your new independence.
  6. getfitat40

    getfitat40 New Member

    I have lived alone for about 12 years and each year I get weirder and weider! :) Seriously, for the most part I love living alone - if I need to have a lazy day to recoup from my week I can hibernate and no one can give me grief, nothing is touched or moved, if I don't want to answer the phone no one can make me feel guilty about it, I can eat whatever I want for dinner - like cereal, pj's can be mismatched and worn and no one will know, no body takes the last of the milk that I wanted to use on my cereal for dinner. I think you get the picture!

    On the con side though if I am sick with an infection I have to go the pharmacy to pick up the antibiotics and 7-up. Also, there are times that I am lonely because I am alone but I try to at least take a walk or go for coffee if I can't make last minute plans.

    The big things for me are carrying heavy stuff up my stairs, changing light bulbs because I am too short to reach them, and the big cleaning. I have recently solved these issues by hiring a cleaning lady and buying groceries through peapod because they deliver. And I can ask the cleaning lady to change light bulbs because she is taller then I am.

    I won't kid you living alone can be lonely at times, but I hope it will grow on you. You really learn to enjoy your own company. I tried the dog route but I had to return her because potty-training a puppy while living on the 3rd floor was too much for me...but if you can get an animal - dog or cat - I think the transistion would be easier for you. And don't forget that coming to the Fibro board 24/7 is always an option and you are never alone.
  7. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Hi Fibrohugslife

    I understand why you are nervous. This is a huge step and when you have a chronic illness you worry how you are going to cope.

    A cat or dog is wonderful company. You have to decide if you are a cat or dog person or maybe have both. There are lots of them in shelters just waiting for someone to take them home.

    Some people just don't like being alone. If you find that this isn't for you then maybe a room mate might be the answer.

    Also do some research about what kind of services there are available in your area. Does the grocery store deliver if you are having a bad week? that sort of thing.

    Remember you have this site when you are feeling overwhelmed or need advice. So you aren't completely alone.

    hugs Marion (Redwillow)

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