OT Where to Live After Retirement

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by fairydust39, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. fairydust39

    fairydust39 New Member

    Some wanted to know where the best place to live is:
    Here it is!

    Where To Live After Retirement

    As we all know, sometimes we come face to face with the fact that it may be time to relocate. The big question is: where to? Here are some tips.

    You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....

    1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
    2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
    3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
    4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
    5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
    6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

    You can Live in California where...

    1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
    2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
    3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
    4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
    5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    You can Live in New York City where...

    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
    2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
    3.You think Central Park is "nature,"
    4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
    5. You've worn out a car horn.
    6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    You can Live in Maine where...

    1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
    2 Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
    3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
    5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

    You can Live in the Deep South where...

    1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
    2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
    3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
    5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

    You can live in Colorado where...

    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
    2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
    4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    You can live in the Midwest where...

    1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
    4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

    AND You can live in Florida where..

    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
    5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
    6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and snowbirds.
  2. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Thank you for posting this, very funny - but probably very true also.

    I am in S. California - lived here all my life. Because of the weather, I think this is the best place to live. You can buy manufactured homes here for less than $60,000. Maybe it would be fine for a retiree.

    We have many retirement communities, including condo communities for seniors where the homes are much less.

    I vote for California for retirement. I think, even if I wind up living in a senior apartment complex, I would stay here.

    I would like to hears others responses here about where they live and why it might be a good place to retire.

    Good topic!!!

  3. fairydust39

    fairydust39 New Member

    I live in Western Maryland in the mountains.It is very beautiful and very reasonable to live here. We have snow in the winter but the spring,summer, and fall,is wonderful.
    Surprisingly we have many many Seniors living here,including my DH and me. We have many Senior homes here and food and rent are cheaper than most other places. No pollution here,lots of fresh air.
    Hugs Shirley
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    And what is written here is true. I love both places but it's good to laugh at ourselves.

    Love, Mikie
  5. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Needed a laugh. AC
  6. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I want to check out your area on the internet. What is nearest city? I would like to get a small condo for retirement, while I am still working.

  7. fairydust39

    fairydust39 New Member

    Cumberland,Md. is closest to me. It is a Tri-State area where 3 states come together. Md.,W.Va.,and Pa. It has a
    Scenic Railroad and other Tourist attractions. W.Va. is just across the river from Cumberland and Pa. is 10 minutes away.It is not a large town but we have a huge mall and plenty of shopping centers here. Hagertown,Md. is the largest city and it's about 50 miles from us. I was born in Pa. and moved here in 1981. We really love it here.
    Hugs Shirley
    [This Message was Edited on 02/24/2006]
  8. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Oh, this post gave me a such-needed laugh! I've lived in southern California for the past 10 years, and all of the above are soooooo true!!!!! Esp. the part about people telling you how long it takes to get somewhere rather than how far it is! We just moved from 60 mi. south of L.A. to 60 mi. north, so I've been asking for directions, referrals, etc. a lot. EVERYONE says things like, "Oh, it's about an hour" for pretty much going ANYWHERE! That is what made me laugh the hardest. And of course it's almost all in terms of freeway reference...I used to live off of "the 5", and now I'm near "the 101". A bizarre parallel universe to the rest of the world. But a very, very funny post (and I giggled about the others as I've visited a few of them, briefly, on business, and also used to live in the Phoenix area...the oven comment is SO accurate!)!

    I say retire far, far away from any of the above. I've heard Montana is beautiful, or Idaho. And there is always the tropical island idea posted earlier. Happy trails!!! :)


  9. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    I rarely do get actual directions from people, only that "It's about an hour" when I ask about something, i.e. where a Target is, grocery store, etc. Fortunately, hubby got me a GPS for Christmas, although I think it was more to feed his gadget fix. It works okay, although I had to explain to my 4 y.o. what "You have arrived at your destination" means. At least the GPS lady tells me HOW to get somewhere and not HOW LONG it will take! I really do need to get a plain old map, though. I am STILL giggling reading the other cities, too...I so needed a good laugh this week!!!!

    Thanks again!
  10. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    When I moved here 8 years ago. It was cheap too. Now, everyone has discovered SW FL and you can't touch a condo where I am for less than $250,000. Every empty lot or acerage is being developed and the traffic is getting just horrible. We have to build roads for the worst of our traffic which is only this bad part of the year. The good news is that when it gets hotter 'n hell, the snowbirds go home and we can once again get into movies, restaurants, and out on the roads. I love the snowbirds but they really make this area crowded in the winter.

    We have tourists in the summer when everyone's grandchildren are out of school. They all come down to stay at Grandma's while Grandma is up north. Still, most of the tourists are in the Orlando area and we have our town to ourselves. Summer evenings here are wonderful, soft and warm. It's great to be out swimming at night in the pool.

    In the summer, we say it's hotter than two rats making love in a wool sock in a burning meth house.

    Love, Mikie
  11. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Loved these descriptions!! From all of them, I would choose the Midwest!

    In reality, I would stay put for retirement, as I did. Why move south or anyplace else away from all of your lifelong friends, and your family? Could never figure this out.

    I love it right where I'm at!


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