OT Worried, daughter,grandbaby and health issues

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by SandraJean, Feb 4, 2006.

  1. SandraJean

    SandraJean New Member

    Hi Everyone,

    I had posted before about my daughter giving birth to our grand daughter, then our daughter got very sick with peri-post cadio-myopathy. She was in ICU for 5 days and now has heart problems and is on heart meds, etc.

    Since she got out of the hospital, she has become very quiet and seems like she doesn't want to talk to anyone. She has been to a physcrist since she was 16 and has had emotional issues. It see,s since she had the baby and was so sick afterwards that she's going thru a rough time again.

    I have tried to call her today, but she hasn't answered her phone, nor called back from my messages. Her boyfriend said that she just seems very overwhelmed about everything.

    I wish I knew how to help more. I have been so worried about her from the birth and the heart problems, and wa at the hospital every day and now I can't even talk to her on the phone at times.

    Maybe I'm being over sensitive, but I worry so and want to here more from her. Hopefully they will be over tomorrow for the super bowl game, but even when I got together with her one day this week, when I ask how she is doing with things, she just tells me she doesn't want to talk about it.

    Sorry this is so long, but I have found alot of strength in these message boards for all kinds of subjects.

    Thanks so much!

    Sandy
  2. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I had 3 babies all girls but I didn't have the problems that your daughter has. I hope that she is still seeing a counsler as she could be having some post partum depression.

    She has gone threw so much and it would be over whelming to any one. You are not being over sensitive about this. Having a baby is hard on us but then to be critically ill right after and not get that first moments of bonding with the baby is rough. You sound like you just are being concerned for her and how she is handling her life now. You sound like a Mom.

    We do worry about our children no matter how old they get. And it is not any easyier when they are older and don't live with you any more. I know that when my daugter who lives back east gets sick or hurt I want to go out there and be with her and to fix things for her and just help her out.

    My hubby tells me that I need to let her figure her own problmes out but when your kids hurt you hurt too. I really can't explain it but when your kids are not doing so great and have been sick you feel that you need to help them out.

    When my daugter calls and tells me that she is in pain and needs to see a doctor I worry about her and for her. She will call me and talk in the voice that she did as a child , it is not a childish voice but it is one that says to my heart Mom I need you and I want to be there where you can be with me.

    I hope that your daughter will start to enjoy her baby and her life soon,as babies grow so fast. I will be praying for recovery. Hug that grandbaby. And your daughter if she will let you. And last but not least just love her and support her all you can. Be there for her to talk with when she wants to talk with you. I know that just having some emotinal support from my mom has helped me alot. And remember to take care of you too.

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lots of hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    Rosemarie
  3. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    she is probably just so so fatigued and overwhelmed...do you think you could offer to help her during the day or just drop off some dinners or something...maybe just ask her if there is anytng you can do to help her out...do some laundry?

    run to the grocery store...anyting...just a break or a nap for her...

    she is probably scared about being a mother and already having heart problems and haven't seen her child grow yet...she is scared and is withdrawing..but i know i was so tired and exhausted from my pre-eclampsia and c-section then i had severe anemaia, which turns out it was my blood disease that they hadn't dx yet correctly...i had to get my spleen and gall bladder out because of it....

    i guess you can only extend a helping hand....and offer to take her anywhere she want to...even the dr's for herslef...

    jodie
  4. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I would be worried to, she has been through so much. When you have you first baby its a big enough adjustment, and now she has all these heart problems to deal with. Her hormones must be just going crazy. Maybe you should try to get her into a couselor. She has been through way to much to deal with all this on her own.

    I will keep her and the baby in my thoughts and prayers.
    Sandy
  5. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    I think the best thing to do is just go check on her.I hope she doesn't live far away.Maybe if she is ok with it you can stay a few days to help out.She sounds depressed and just worn out.Bless her heart this should be a joyful time and that darn post pardum depression is a kicker.Not to mention how sick she was in the hospital.It takes awhile just to get over that.I will be praying for her and the new baby.And also for grandma.
    Take care and let us know how she is doing.
    Sheila
  6. SandraJean

    SandraJean New Member

    Hi

    Thanks for replying to my post.

    We had our daughter, boyfriend and baby over yesterday for the super bowl game. I fixed up ribs and chili and we all watched the game.

    Deb looked so pale and weak when I saw her yesterday. She was really tired. After having them here last night, I realized just how much this heart condition has taken out of her, She is getting stronger, but it's going slowly. she and the baby are doing really good together and baby Kya is just adorable. We had such a nice time with them being here.

    I really worry about Deb's health and she said she is seeing her family doctor on a weekly basis now and I found out today she is having a nurse come out to her house to check on her too. She's still really quiet about all that is going on, but also has an appointment with her psycriast this week too. I know she is just overwhelmed and has a bit of the blues. I've tried to ask if I could take her and the baby out, or come over to help out at the house, with cooking, cleaning, etc or taking care of the baby, but she just says not yet.

    I am in a wheelchair full time and it's is harder to get into her house as I have to try to get up 5 high steps, then can put my chair in the house and get arund. Because I'm in the chair full time, it's a little more difficult for me to get around as quick as I could.

    Thanks for all the prayers and understanding. I've been so worried about her and all that she has gone through.

    Sandy