OT - You'll love this. About interview and reference from ex boss

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Tigger57, Oct 26, 2005.

  1. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    You won’t believe this one…

    I got an email from my ex-boss saying that the people I interviewed with yesterday called her for a reference. I thought she would give me a good reference and there would be no problem. She is such and idiot I could smack her.

    Get this, she said, “Of course I gave you a great reference… he wanted to know why you were gone... and I explained the level of stress of a seasonal biz plus chronic illness had taken a major toll on you. He asked if I thought you adapted well to technology and I laughed and said well yeah ...that you were pretty fearless about new technology and software and basically led me through anything new on the computer. He sounded like he was extremely interested....hope you get it.”

    Now, can someone tell me what right she had to tell him I had a chronic illness???? I’m so angry I am shaking. If I don’t get the job for that reason, you can be darn sure I will be talking to a lawyer. I never tell a prospective employer that I have a chronic illness!!!! They don’t need to know that. All they need to know is whether I can do the job or not.

    I can’t even explain how angry I am. This was the topping on the cake… right up there with letting me find out my insurance was cancelled when I went to get a prescription filled. AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!

    I’m so glad I have you guys to talk to.



  2. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    Wow, talk about overstepping boundaries!! My ex-mother in law was the worst!

    I am so sorry that happened. What right did she think she had?? Like it's her place to tell a prospective employer anything about your health. Even if it was top notch - NOT HER PLACE!! To pass on such personal information is totally unacceptable, not to mention unprofessional.

    I hope that you do get the job......and after you do, you might want to let your ex-boss know how you feel about what she did. I know she will be hearing from you if you don't get it, but I think someone needs to put her in her place regardless. Well, good luck!!

  3. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    I don't know what state you live in but in Calif. all you are allowed to tell a propective employer by law is the length of employement, attendance, rate of pay and if their status is rehirable or not. That's all.. if you don't get the job you probably have a lawsuit.

    I would be peeved too..

  4. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I don't think it is legal in any state to let a prospective employer know about personal issues as part of a reference... especially medical stuff!!!!

    I'm shaking so much because I'm so angry.

  5. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Contact your local labor board. You have grounds to sue. Your former employer is an idiot. He violated your privacy and the H.I.P.A law. If you can prove what you are saying you could have a nice law suit . I would take this fool to court. D.
  6. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    How did she get to be a boss? She and her husband own the company.

    I can't see where I would have any trouble proving that she said that... I have the email where she told me that was what she said, and I saved the email.

    I was so angry I had to do something, so I went in and started to strip the bed, but my back started hurting. I guess I have to do it a little at a time.

    Thanks guys. At least I know that I'm not completely nuts.

  7. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    The job she gave the reference for today is actually a better job than the real estate job. Everything does happen for a reason.

    I just can't get over the nerve she had to tell them I had a "chronic illness". I mean, my doctor isn't even allowed to give out that information.

    I've at least gone from rage to dumbfounded at the moment.
  8. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    DUMB with a capital D. Even the info about technology is not acceptable. I'm glad you saved the e-mail because it is proof she said what she did. I just can't believe she said that. Amazing.

    Heavens, doctors have to have written permission to even give info to your spouse...what was she thinking?!

    I'm sorry this happened. I hope you can relax a bit and that this blunder won't cost you a job you want. Doing the attorney thing would be oh so stressful...no one needs that! But, if it comes to that, so be it.

  9. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    ... and you all used much better language than what I've been yelling here at home.

    I agree that I don't need the hassel of getting a lawyer. I just want to move forward in my life. If I have to though, I will get a lawyer. Let's just pray that I don't have to.

    I don't know why this surprises me, I really don't. I've known for a long time that she and her husband didn't have the best ethics, but this....? I wasn't prepared for it at all. I especially wasn't prepared for her to tell me she said that to them.

    I'm going to take my Klonopin, go to bed (I just changed the sheets and put the winter comforter on the bed), and at 3:00 tomorrow afternoon I will meet with the accounts payable person at the office where I interviewed. At some point I would have to do accounts payable and they wanted me to talk with her about it and to see if I can do it.

    Thank you all for supporting me. It's bad enough I've been a wreck about getting a job, I sure didn't need the added stress. My back is killing me. Between tightening up my body by getting so angry, and stripping the bed, I hurt now.

    Good night everyone.
  10. elsa

    elsa New Member

    I could be wrong but I don't think a former employer can say anything negative. They can only confirm or deny your employment and the correct dates of your tenue there.

    They can say all the glowing, wonderful things they want to. If they didn't like you or if they fired you or anything else negative pertaining to you, then all they are allowed to say is the above confirmation of employment.

    Your former boss is either a true ditz or she is very, very cleaver in torpedoing you in such a sweet Dumb Dora manner.

    She is really in trouble if my recollections are correct about former boss negative references .... If you can prove what she said.

    I'm going to keep positive thoughts for you on this. I hope you get the job and everything goes exactly as you want them to.


  11. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I liked the idea of you beating her up. She needs a can of whoop a$$ opened on her.
  12. lbok

    lbok New Member

    It wasn't even the boss who gave out that information where I used to work about a girl who quit. She had applied for another job and they called and the person in the payroll dept (just 1 guy was the whole dept - lol) told the perspective employer about some sort of medical condition she had. He knew because it was a very small place. She tried suing the company. I don't even think it mattered or not whether she got the other job. I don't know if they settled with her or if she got anything out of it.
  13. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I talked with my brother this morning and he believes she did it on purpose. He feels that way because she is just mean.

    It's a new day and I'm still angry and of course the stress and cold weather we have... I'm hurting.

    I do have to go back for a second interview this afternoon, so wish me luck that all goes well.
  14. Zzzsharn

    Zzzsharn New Member

    The best thing you have going for you is that she wrote you an email and you have phsyical proof. What she did is illegal, as well as immoral.

    To me the kicker was that she acted AS IF she did you a favor with this reference.. !!! Total ignorance..

    Wow, she's a winner, eh?

  15. SoxFan

    SoxFan New Member

    A second interview is definitely a good sign - best of luck!
  16. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    is stupid or daft, I think she knew exactly what she was doing, she's plain nasty.

    I hope you get this job and if you dont one thing you have to do is make sure she doesnt do this again.

    What a piece of work.

  17. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I'm not sure if she was trying to do me a favor or not, but yeah, that's what it sounds like.

    One thing I am happy about is to be rid of them. Can you imagine what it was like working with them? Husband and wife, and they would frequently fight in the office with doors slamming, yelling, stomping around.

    And is it any wonder that I was so sick?
  18. renae1979

    renae1979 New Member

    I'm a paralegal and I would definitely agree - it's time to get an employment law lawyer and get a settlement. I know everyone is sue happy these days, but you actually have a legitimate case. She definitely broke the law because all employers are allowed to do is verify dates of employment pretty much. Former employers can't give references anymore these days.
  19. Zzzsharn

    Zzzsharn New Member

    I've been coming to this board for over a year now, I always read your posts, they made me feel grateful that I have a lienient employer. It always sounded to me like you worked for @ssholes, pardon my french.

    It is good that they called you back for a second interview. I wish you much luck.

    I wonder if, in, or if you've already had the second interview... if your health was brought up?

    Your ex-boss STILL has me revved up.. The NERVE.. ugg.

    Keep us posted!
  20. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I will put this in another post, but I wanted to thank you all for your support.

    I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I start Monday. I work from 9-5 with an hour for lunch. After 10 years of working for that witch I never even got a lunch break, I had to eat at my desk. I had to take the phones of the hook and lock the door just to go to the bathroom.

    All of this has reminded me how lucky I am not to be there any more. I can be rid of these "toxic and nasty people.


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