Thanks for replies. I took my mom to a senior day care for blind adults to check it out. She refuses to go. She had a very good aide for 5 years when she lived alone;then the aides after that were not good. Then she had colon cancer 2 years ago;then broke her hip.I had her move in with me when she had surgery. Every place I checked said that she would need an aide with her because of her disabilities.If she lived alone she would need a 24 hour aide;we gave up her apt. Everything in NYC is too expensive;we don't qualify for aid though. It would be better if she appretiated me. We put her on antidepressants and she is somewhat nicer. It was a living hell growing up with her. She made her mother,my father and me miserable.I promised my dad that I would not put her in a nursing home. oh well. thanks again-maybe I'm down cause my dad died around this time. jrose.