OTWarning for your teens, computers weblogs

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ckball, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Hi All,

    Some of you may have noticed I have been gone awhile. Some maybe not.

    I have been dealing with a family issue. My 15 year old granddaughter has a double life.

    All of this was found on the internet. She had a xanga website, her parents had a subscription so that when she posted they would be notified.

    My granddaughter is very smart, it is a same she chose to use it for the wrong things. She figured out how to get around the notice message.

    My message is trust your teens but VERIFY what they do. I would have never believed this beautiful, talented, intelligent child would do the things she has done.

    My daughter works midnights and is home all day, alot of it sleeping, but this went on in her house, with her there asleep.

    She is devasted, she trusted her daughter, thought she had a good relationship, as much as any 15 year old teen can.

    So keep a closer eye on your computer, check histories, I found out her screen name and found out more info on other peoples site about her, even tho her site was shut down.

    My new hobby has been reading teen blogs trying to find out all I can so maybe if I know what I am dealing with I can help my granddaughter.

    I am considering a 500 mile one way trip this weekend. I am still having my own health issues. My entire scalp is covered in psorisis. The Dr called me in something today. I have to go around all day with a grease ball for my head,lol. And the fatigue has found its way back too. I want to be there so bad.

    Just know your kids freinds and their parents. It is a busy world and kids require a lot more than we are able to give because of our dds. But they deserve our protection, if that means getting all up in their business as they will put it, it really is for their own good. Bless you all-Carla
  2. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I did miss you around here as I miss many of the folks who used to be on regularly.

    I'm so sorry about your grand daughter. It's so much different for the kids these days. Their world seems to be full of things we wouldn't even have thought of at their age. (and I thought I did everything as a teen)

    With a 500 mile one way trip, would it be easier and cheaper to fly? Might make it easier on you too.

    Since I started on the vitamins and supplements that have helped me so much lately, I just want to add that when I'm having a day that I don't think I can get through....I take a Neuro B-12 sublingual and it works wonders for me.

    Let us know what you decide to do and take care,

    Nancy B.
  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    haven't been on much myself til tonight... but saw you hadn't posted in a while...

    It can be a big headache. USA Today just recently did a big piece on how kids get pulled into doing things online they wouldn't have done before. A guy, now about 20, is testifying how he got into it when he was about 13... his mother didn't notice the extra $$ and stuff he had, his Dad did when he went to live with him at 16, but then helped him to participate!

    My kids happily don't really care about the computer and now they are not minors... if they had been interested, I'd have had the computer in the great room where I'd be able to see over their shoulders I think!

    I hope you're feeling better soon and can be of some assistance to your daughter and granddaughter... just being there may be enough!

    best,
    Victoria

  4. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Xanga is a website for teens just add the dot com after xanga or just google it.

    Brooks-I wish I could fly but I have my dogs to worry about and to fly out my airport is VERY expesive. I am not sure what I will do yet. I take B-12 sublingual everyday. It does help.

    Victoria-I'm glad your kids didn't get into the computer thing.If you have freinds that have kids just let know to keep an eye out.

    My granddaughter has a girl friend, the girls mother works with my daughter. My GD spent a lot of time with her at her house and that is where this went on too, her mother is a widow.

    Both these girls go to a cathloic school. My GD just had her confirmation 2 months ago and goes to church every Sun with the family.

    My daughter keeps the computer in the living room but these kids are very smart. Just be careful. Thanks for your support- Carla
  5. ckball

    ckball New Member

    hoping more will read this-Carla
  6. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Still hope for more replies
  7. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    I agree with you totally. We never know what our teens are doing. We may think they are innocent, but we never really know. I have a myspace account just so I can browse and see what my teen is up to. It is unbelievable what they post on their myspace. I haven't caught mine doing anything I didn't know about yet, but some of her friends have written stuff I find crazy. I wonder if their parents know. I was disillusioned and thought my teen told me everything. She is a mama's girl, even is afraid to sleep by herself. I tuck her in every night and we say a prayer. She is very immature, but grown in her mind. She has confessed things to me that made me want to cry. Not really bad things, but shocking to me, none the less. I believe in parental policing. Some will disagree, but I think it is necessary to snoop, snoop and snoop. It keeps us ahead of the game. I trust everyone, but never naively. I am always trying to be aware and think of all possiblilites.

    Thank you for posting this. Parents do have to beware of predators who will take advantage of teens. Teens are immature and don't have the age and wisdom to know all there is to know.

    I hope your granddaughter will be okay. She is fortunate to have you in her life.
  8. Windytalker

    Windytalker Member

    Not too long ago, a FM friend had a nephew who ran away to be with a guy he met on line. It turns out this guy was a convicted child molester. My friend was at her wits end...so worried for him and for her sister (his mom).

    It turns out the molester sent him a bus ticket to AZ. Law enforcement people tracked the emails and found the nephew. Blessings upon blessings.

    But, the kicker was...the nephew "knew" this guy wasn't what you'd call "normal" when he left for AZ. Soooooo sad!!!
  9. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Be careful about the library too. My GD had Internet access at the library, not any more. This is were she was posting from.

    You can change that on their library card to not have Internet access.

    She has been freinds with this girl for over a year, this girl was a lesbian and my GD knew it but was ok with it. But did share that info with my daughter.

    MY GD has had a boyfriend for about a year but he lives too far to see each regularly. They talk on the phone and have a movie date or something once a month or so.

    We still don't know exactly what changed but my GD was having sex with with her girlfriend and smoking pot.

    My daughter actually caught them kissing in the back yard, then found the website. I realize kids experiment but my daughter found letters that more or less states that the other girl is very controlling and manipulative. My GD is a people pleaser. This girl used that to get her to do what she wanted.

    I am not going this weekend, my daughter feels it's best right now. She is having carpel tunnel surgery next month so I will go then.

    My GD is already in counseling with a Gender counselor that the church arranged. So all I can do is pray and tell her I am here.

    If I can help one person from being victimized or stop someone who is doing it by my GD's story then it it worth it.

    It is so different than when we were kids, it is just so scary. I agree with snooping too, they will understand when they are parents.

    The person that posted about their nephew, I am so glad everything turned out well. That could have been the last time the family could have seen him.

    Thanks again for your replies and stories. Everyone thinks no not my child, I know we did, but they are very swayed by peer presure, so keep both eyes open all the time. Carla
  10. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I am very well aware of she may be gay. I understand the beliefs of the church. My fear is my daughters feeling about gays.

    I am fine if she is and told her her that. I told my daughter I supported my GD if she is she is gay. In VA I had many gay freinds in the very large pool league I was in.

    I told my daughter that she had to accept if she was gay and my daighter gave me a "no I don't". My daughter has a freind she met at work. Very nice, funny lady, I really like her. My feeliing she is in the closet lesbian and I asked my daughter about it and she was like "no way" and didn't want to talk about.

    The letters my daughter found from the other girl definetly leave the impression that my GD was being manlipated. But my GD participated for 2 months. I asked her if she thougth she was gay and she said no- but she said she loved the girl.

    The truth will come out in the end. I am more upset about the fact my daughter didn;t tell me about this for over 3 weeks. We have always had a good mother/daughter relationship, she use to tell me everything. But for some reason she did not tell me until it was almost time for my GD to visit me and then said she would not be allowed to come.

    She won't even let me talk to her on the phone. My guess is because I told her I supported whatever lifestyle she chose. That did not make my daughter happy, Maybe she needs gender counseling,lol. I still have my sense of humor :)

    Thanks for you input, you did not offend me in any way. Carla