over a year, almost 600 posts, and a good bye

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by PepperGirl52, Aug 22, 2005.

  1. PepperGirl52

    PepperGirl52 New Member

    I've gained more knowledge from this board than I could have ever hoped to. More than my own doctor had to offer, more than I even needed.

    But I have never felt a part of the group dynamics here. No finger-pointing, just a statement. You all have your favorites that you've grown to love over the years, through the chat room, personal e-mails, whatever. I have never been a part of that. And I see that "for the most part", most of my posts go unnoticed or out of courtesy (thank you for that, those of you who are courteous), are responded to.

    Otherwise, as the saying goes, when I do good, no one notices. When I do bad, everyone notices.

    If you ask for an opinion, make sure you emphasize what it is you really want to hear. I'm not usually one who shoots first and asks questions later. So, I suppose, as has been requested, I will apologize for an opinion that I forewarned would not be a popular one.

    I see no need for any reasons or rationale-there were some, but I can already see I've been labled, and defeated before I could ever take a stand. So, why would I bother.

    You all have a great life. PG
  2. allie42

    allie42 Guest

    I haven't been around very long, but I've seen your posts and the responses to them. Not sure why you would feel as you do. I felt your contributions were appreciated and respected.

    However, having been a part of the chatrooms and message boards in DrKoop several years ago (now bankrupt last I checked), I can see that there seems to be a lot of striving for recognition. Some get it in large measure. I'm out of my league on this board.


  3. CFIDSNicole

    CFIDSNicole New Member

    I guess I miss a lot of what goes on here; I looked at your profile, and I think maybe you've deleted some of your recent posts? It seems I remember posting to you not that long ago, but that's neither here nor there.

    I don't know what happened, and I don't know what you posted that you were asked to apologize for, but I can kind of understand how you are feeling. Sometimes I feel I am just writing to no one, you know? I don't know. I try not to let it bother me. I have racked up lots of posts, but I'm certainly not one of the favorites on here, either. It's hard to say why and how people get to be "favorites."

    The group dynamic here is kind of difficult sometimes, and I often hold my tongue because I know I hold an unpopular opinion and I dont want to get jumped on.

    I'm sorry you have decided to leave; I hope you will reconsider. I am sure no one intended to hurt your feelings, but your feelings are still hurt. If I contributed at all, I am sorry.

    Take care,
    Nicole
  4. elsa

    elsa New Member



    I don't belong to any groups what so ever. I value everyone's input. How else am I going to learn? I'm sorry if someone has upset you, but I don't understand why you are throwing in the towel.

    Many, many times people have posts that don't get alot of responses. Tansy, who is a very informative poster only has 3 responses to a post right now. The number of responses to a post does not reflect whether a member is "liked" here or not.

    I, myself, have made a large number of members unhappy with a thought or two that were not mainstream. It is not personal to disagree as long as everyone is respectful of one another.

    I don't reply to posts that I have no knowledge or information about. I don't always reply due to being tired from these illnesses. That doesn't mean I don't like someone.

    Sometimes I'll respond by saying "I know nothing of your situation, but you are in my thoughts". I can't do that every time, but I try to acknowledge members.

    I try to welcome new members too, but some will fall through the cracks.

    My only guideline in responding is if I have written a response to a member's different threads and they don't acknowledge my efforts. After a while, I'll move onto other members. ( This does not happen very often however.)

    If someone has been extemely rude or abusive, let the moderators know. That sort of thing is not tolerated here.

    I really am sorry that you are unhappy. I value all members here.

    Elsa

  5. Denamay

    Denamay New Member

    Please do'nt go!!!
    I think with a name like Peppergirl you must be kind of fiesty and I like that. From Denamay
  6. happygranny

    happygranny Member

    I'm no psycholgist, but I have the feeling that there is more to this.

    Could you possibly be venting at the people at this board, when it should be directed elsewhere?

    Those of us with this DD often feel isolated and unloved. It is very hard to feel 'normal' and friendships are hard to keep.

    How about taking a quiet moment and asking yourself what is really hurting you? Have you felt 'rejected' before in your life, or is it only here at IS?

    Something to think about,

    happygranny
  7. legalwoman

    legalwoman New Member

    I don't know what caused you to feel this way, but if you feel you must go, good luck.

    I very seldom have a lot of responses to my posts, but then I don't post that often so not a lot of people know me well. What responses I do get are good ones, and are very welcomed.

    We all have strong opinions about things, and sometimes, at least for me, it is best to stay out of a discussion when you know your opinion may cause controversy. Being an attorney, my opinions will often differ from the mainstream on this board. For instance, I have a very strong opinion about the Vioxx lawsuit in Texas. There is a post on it right now. I chose not to respond in that thread simply because I knew my opinion would cause controversy and maybe some hurt feelings. That kind of discussion is one which I feel it is better that I stay out of.

    We as human beings can sometimes say or do things that offend others, not because we intend to be offensive, but just because we hold opinions that are not popular. I choose carefully which posts I reply to, in order not to cause a stir. Some may call that cowardly, I choose to think of it as being prudent.

    I enjoy this board a great deal and so I don't let certain ideas or opinions bother me enough to leave. Not everyone is the same. I hope you have made the best choice for you.

    Marilyn
  8. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    I have felt like this many times and have gotten so depressed over it that I have not been posting much at all. I'm sorry, but the board goes so quickly and I have been going to bed at 10 PM and sleeping until noon.

    Not much time to get much accomplished on here. I do wish you would stay.

    I'll admit when I see a person has better info than I could give, I usually won't post to waste their time. Also there are a lot of times I feel that if I left here no one would really care, but possibly 2 or 3 people.

    The board is supposed to help people and make them feel better, not worse about themselves.

    I'm glad you pointed all of this out because I feel it should have been said, but I never had the nerve to say it.

    Please stay and give us all another chance.

    My point is posting does make a difference even though we often times feel it doesn't.

    The support group shouldn't be a popularity contest. I hope you will feel better about this. ;-)

    Big hugs,
    Faye
  9. nina2

    nina2 New Member

    I'm glad you said what you needed to say and vented your feelings.

    Maybe we all can learn something from what you said and try a little harder with one another.

    I know you would miss this board a lot if you left.

    I really don't want you or anyone else to leave. So take some time if need be and know that you can always come back.

    I for one will welcome you with open arms. I'm really sorry that you are hurting.
    (((big hugs)))
    ~nina~
  10. pepper

    pepper New Member

    on this board. I often search for my name in case anyone has posted to me and I will find posts to you. I don't mind since you seem to always have good posts. :)

    I have been here a long time but can truthfully say that I never choose whose posts I will or will not answer. It depends on the topic and on my energy level. And if I feel I have nothing to contribute, I will just read and go on.

    Thanks to brain fog, I actually don't even remember most user's names! I am here to learn and to help and will not post unless I feel I can do one or the other. I just don't have the energy.

    Many of my posts have just died and gone to cyber-heaven. If I push them by bumping I will often get answers. Some topics just catch on and get lots of answers but I believe it is the topic and whoever happens to be on the board - not me - that gets the answers.

    There are so many good, caring people on this board and so much information to share, it is a shame that you will miss out on this.

    I hope that you will reconsider this decision.

    Pepper
  11. kalley167

    kalley167 New Member

    how you are feeling. But you shouldn't just leave the site. I don't post alot and when I do there is sometimes little or no response but I stick around and put in my two cents every now and then. I also have learned alot just by reading the posts.So don't give up the knowledge you can get here even if you don't post at least lurk.
    God Bless !
  12. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    I was thinking today that I would post a question...Does anyone here think they know me? I would mean by that that a lot of time I look at the pic of whose post I am reading..and reread their bio. I dont know if others ever do that. In that way, I feel like I "know" a few people here, tho I have never talked to any of them. I was wondering if anyone had ever looked at my pic or bio.

    Sometimes I read a bio to see if it gives me a perspective of where a person's opinion is coming from...or if that person has any background to her posts. I don't know if anyone else takes the time to do that. I don't think I have ever had a person on this board respond personally to anything I have ever said. It sure can take your confidence down a peg or two. But I always come back.

    People are nice in chat, too. I am glad I have people in real life who pay attention to me, as I am a nobody here...still, if I think I have anything helpful or supporting to say, I still say it!

    Jana
  13. over50

    over50 New Member

    I dont know why you are feeling like this.
    Do you want to talk about it?
    It is so hard for us to meet and keep new friends,normals dont get it.But,we get it and thats for sure.
    Maybe a minibreak would be good for you.But,please come back,we all need each other,we are family in a way.
    What ever you decide you are still in our hearts and prayers.
    Love,Linda
  14. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    I have been coming here for almost 3 years now..but I am an occaisional poster and reader. I find I need this board when I am having something new go on with my fibro..Or when I just need to be reminded of the fact that I am not alone in dealing with this. I don't think I have ever gotten very many responses to anything I post, but I post because I have a question, or just something to say to someone else. I am a very talkative person ( LOL) and this board gives me a place to talk about my illness. There aren't many places where I can always feel free to do this. So, if you need to go...know that you you can come back at any time. There , of course, are groups that have formed here. Lucky are those who find a friend! But, maybe if you keep showing up..you will touch a cord with someone..and form a good friendship as well!
  15. ladude

    ladude New Member

    I agree with most of the posts here that want you to stay as most do.

    This board is not perfect but what is.

    Fogged up said sometimes he needs to go away for a while and come back.

    Sometimes I check in here several times a day, other times a few times a month.

    I just bumped one of my own posts to get it more attention.

    I don't think there is anyone who one person or group who controls this board in any true sense of control. The moderators just check that we are civil to one another.

    Even if you decide to leave for a while remember you will be always welcomed back.

    I'm sure the energy of the board changes over time. The topics are too general or even vague to the point I just wonder, do I have to click on to view the real question, why bother. It seems a little different than the 2 years ago or so when I joined. Maybe it is just me.

    This is a great resource on so many levels, just hope you reconsider -- you and me as all of us are in this together, trying our best to have a life.

    I am so far from perfect and if I have ever not answered one of your posts when I could have I am sorry.

    Hope you hang in there with us!

    LAdude





  16. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    peppergirl52 - I don't think I've responded to any of your posts, but I've not been on the board much lately.

    I think we all feel left out and/or neglected from time to time, and we feel so bad physically anyway we don't always think rationally. I know I don't!!

    As another poster said, with all of these responses someone must value your opinion and enjoy your posts.

    With me, this group is all that I have. I've come here many times and found comfort when it didn't exist anywhere else in my life at the time. And it's always come through for me.

    Like the others, I hope you'll continue to post here. Just because things are slow for you right now, you never know what the future might hold.


    abbylee
  17. badangel3

    badangel3 New Member

    There are many here just like you that aren't a part of any group....me for one.
    I don't use the chat room, i don't ask many questions, no one can really tell you much about me at all except by reading my profile. but I'm here every day and i answer posts when I have an aswer. I'm here almose every evening.

    I don't judge anyone; I read and i learn. Not everyone is going to bond and it may be harder for thos ethat are homebound, but it's not fair of you to feel that anyone purposely slighted you.

    The best way to live life is to give from the heart without looking for anything in return. That's when you recieve the most. jackie (not proof reading tonight)
    [This Message was Edited on 08/22/2005]
  18. backporchrags

    backporchrags New Member

    I have had others say the same thing to me... That the board is cliquish and their posts get no responces.
    Personally I do not worry about such things. I reply to posts when I feel I have something helpful to say, no matter the author. I don't look out for specific people to reply to. I scan the questions and those who have had little replies I respond to.
    Just so you know many here are not in cliques, we respond equally no matter the author.
    I am sorry you have gotten a bad vibe here. I will hate to see you go.
    A
  19. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    think. I know a few times I've wondered if there's an "ignore" button on here and if everyone has pushed it when it comes to my posts. LOL! Just always was sensitive and a tad insecure. But then I've also had times when I got answers to a post that we so kind and caring..I didn't find them until I checked in search under my name..and then I feel awful
    that I didn't say thank you or respond.

    That's often just not being able to come here daily or for long at a time
    sometimes. Other times I stick around and read for an hour or more.

    Feeling badly as we all do from time to time, or all the time for many, it's hard to always stay up and be helpful or respond. Some posts just don't compute for some and some are more comments than questions.

    I too am sorry if I've ever failed to
    respond to your posts or thanked you if you responded to one of mine. I don't go to the chat only because I like the chance to post and leave if I have to and come back later.

    I am homebound and one of the most lonely people you will ever come across. All of my dear friends were older than I am and they've all died.
    The only close friends I have left are a couple of friends I made in an
    old chat room that broke up, and it's only by email. I've never "met" one of them but love them as if we were neighbors. I feel the same about people here.

    I definitely don't agree with every post on here and often just pass rather than create an arguement. I am also opinionated and tend (as you can see) to rattle on too long. I'm sure that turns off some people. I just happen to have had a lot of experiences and known a lot of different kinds of people in my 57 years. So I think sometimes I come off as one of those "I've done that, I've seen that, I know about that" but really couldn't possibly have known or seen as many things as they claim. In my case I really have. LOL!

    Please don't leave or if you must, please consider coming back once you've read our posts to you and think it over. Best wishes!
    Hugs, Bambi
  20. hopeful4

    hopeful4 New Member

    your decision. I'm sorry about the hurt you are feeling.

    I usually post on specific topics of interest or when I'm looking for info. My brain fog and fatigue make it difficult to answer all of the varied posts. I have no clue about chat rooms or personal emails, never did either one from this board.

    Maybe what I'm trying to say is, please don't take it personally. As far as posting unpopular opinions go, that's what makes life interesting! Wouldn't it be boring to always have "yes" people around!

    Best wishes,
    Hopeful4