Pain and Irritability

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by vivian53, Mar 1, 2009.

  1. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    I am new to this board so I apologize if this topic has been previously discussed, but....I find myself feeling extremely irritable when I am in pain. Since that is a lot the time I feel like I come across as a real witch to my family. Yes they know about FM, and realize I am hurting, but after over 10 years my snapping at them gets really old. I respond in this way mostly when I am asked to do something that is too physically exerting and will cause too much pain for me at the time. I have tried counting to ten, deep breathing etc. and it helps if I remember to do it. My irritable responses seem to just skip my brain and come out my mouth. If anyone else has this problem and has any suggestions, they will be appreciated.

  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Hi Vivan and welcome

    Understand where you are coming from. Do you take any pain meds?
    Sorry I can't suggest more but my response now is to not be around folks. When I get to that level or its one of those days I avoid being around anyone.

  3. kjade

    kjade New Member

    Hi Vivian~
    Yes, I can really relate to this....especially when I get home from work, and there are so many demands on me, when I am simply just exhausted. I get so frustrated, because I don't WANT to feel crabby and I don't want to yell. But I seem to have a very short fuse when I am at my worst. My kids are so young, and I don't want them growing up and later saying that mom "was always just yelling at us". Because I really try not to. When I am doing their homework with them, for example, I find my blood pressure starting to shoot up if they are not cooperating or if they are expecting me to do the work for them.

    DH tells me a lot that I am always in a bad mood, and he seems to take it personally when I am that way. He just can't understand that when I am in pain, I cannot be miss happy-pants all the time, like he wants me to be. Sometimes I choose to just be silent....but they don't like that either...they will just start making comments like "what is wrong with you"? or "did someone do something to you at work?" I feel like I can't win.
    I get depressed when they are finally all asleep, because I feel like I have failed them, as a wife and a mother (even though I know in my mind that I am doing my best, in spite of this DD - and I'm sure you are too).

    I don't have any suggestions or great advice....I just wanted you to know that I understand.
  4. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    Hi 3gs. Thanks for your understanding. Yes I do take pain pills. The Norco I take qid seems to be emotionally disinhibiting and, to me, seems to make the irritability worse. Quite a conumdrum. Does this happen to you too?

  5. HI Vivian welcome to the board. I was going to post a thread on this myself.
    I have become a witch lately. I can't help it, even with pain pills I am in such pain. I hate it, but can't help it. I wish I had some suggestions for you, I will watch and see what others say. I don't work, no way, its hard enough to just walk around the house, sitting down inbetween . I used to be a go getter and go go go, now NOT!
  6. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    I am right there with you. My children are older but I had this DD when they were young too and sooo understand what you are saying. It is frustrating and depressing. What goes down in their memories as historical fact is not that "Mom was in great pain and therefore understandably irritable" but "Mom was always snappy or withdrawn". As we know it's not the facts that determine history but peoples interpretation of those facts.

    Just want to let you know though that my irritability is not my main character trait that my children remember by any means. They recognize most my love and determination to make their lives happy and successful and I'll bet yours will too. You do not sound like a failure to me.

  7. nixon

    nixon New Member

    Your post sounds like EXACTLY like it could have come out of my mouth, I've been MAJORLY irritated lately. I also take pain pills, Morph SR 15mg 2x daily.....actually took both this morning and ABSOLUTELY no relief..........I can't work either, I agree about just getting around the house! Thank god I have a fairly understanding hubby! I've "went off" on him, and my parents this past week.......but made amends w/ everyone the last couple days.

    I wish I had a good suggestion, but I don't.....I just try to be mellow, even though it's SOOOOO hard when in so much pain.
  8. cmt49829

    cmt49829 New Member

    I find myself crying some days becasue I feel such a B1tch and for no reason.
    poor hubby is afraid to talk to me some times, for fear Ill jump at him.

    I think it's maostly when I reach the frustration point with this DD.
    the pain meds barley touch the pain some days, and there is NO relief to be had. I get so tired of not being able to do things. I was always an on the go person. not any more. now I dread most times I ahve to get ready and look respectable to go out in public because it takes everything out of me to get ready.

    I know hubby says he understands WHY I get this way, but Im not sure if he truly does.
    I think/ feel some times like everyone thinks Im using this DD as an excuse to be lazy & crabby.

    I get down on myself all the time.

    hope you're feeling good today :)
  9. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    Yep Fibrobutterfly, we seem to have a lot in common. My mother used to say "my get up and gone just got up and went." Sounds like an appropriate phrase to describe us.

    Kjade I like your expression of "miss happy-pants". Lol. I plan to use it myself whenever needed. Thanks for the boost. :) Today I am trying to fake being miss happy-pants, I don't think I am quite pulling it off though. I'll be looking for more tips too.

  10. We sound similar. I actually had a crying spell Friday, everything just overwhelmed me.
    I will say most of my pain is in my shoulders/neck and OMG my low back. I had surgery and it made it worse, the pain radiates to my hip area. The only thing that helps is my tens machine. I went to a pain specialist and thank god he ordered it, it has saved my life many times. I have it on right now.

    I used to have a smile and act "normal" but I just can't do it anymore. That song can' t remember the name "Like a clown I put on a show, etc......I am dying inside and nobody knows it but me" is so me so much of the time.

    It is so sad we have to deal with this dd, I have had it that I know of over 30 yrs.
  11. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    I think that's the name, (severe fibro fog). Really liked to listen to that one. Went something like "there's a smile put on my face but if you look closer you can trace the tracks of my tears".

  12. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I can be a total bitch - but I believe that pain can do that. Pain, frustration, fatigue, being overwhelmed - being pulled in all directions....

    I snap easily - sometimes I need silence. I often just tell my husband "I'm sorry, but I'm hurting" He generally understands.

    I just think about the fact that even the sweetest family dog can snap or snip at you if in pain.

    We're all in a tough spot - we can't be expected to be patient even with ourselves all of the time. It's just too much.

    By the replies you can certainly see that many of us feel the same!!
  13. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    Yes cmt49829 I cry about that too. It feels beyond my control. Maybe we cry to introduce some feel good endomorphins (not enough unfortunately). I am lucky enough to have a caring and understanding SE also. What a GODSEND. I'd be alone otherwise I'm sure (and I say this both jokingly and not). Hate getting ready to go out too. Do it in stages and try to get outfit ready and bathe the night before. I am trying to get on a daily schedule of activities; getting up, eating, exercising, getting out, housework etc. The whole house of cards falls apart if I am too sore.

    Pain free and nonirritable day to all,