Man I am still awake due to the high pain I am in, and it has been like that all this week due to the jetlag and fight with my mom which in turned caused me to have anxiety attack and have some thoughts about myself that I should not be having. I guess you would say that would be a rough time and it has been but I am trying to stay positive. I have not been on here reading and posting as school has begun and I hate each paper I have to write but I am proud of myself starting early on my papers and knocking them out the way. I am trying to stay positive and came to realization that I do need to live on my own but I can't do that yet as I need to get approved for SSI and SSDI and that will help me to get better housing. The stress of my family is too much, between both my mom and dad, I feel like they are going to drive me to the grave with picking on me to do this or that and it is not an utter emergency for things to be done. They want things done NOW and I don't see the rush. I see only shelters available for me to live in out here if I wanted to move out which aren't a good idea as I would be alone, dangerous situation and would have no help with things and that would be more stress than I can handle. So I am just stuck here. I have been reading a lot, which is good and it keeps my mind off of the pain somewhat. Been out on a few dates (with the same guy), I think we are on date 6 or 7 and so far he has been nice, a gentleman, and in control of himself LOL. I have chatted with him online for sheesh about 6 months and never thought that I would meet him, and he knows I am ill. He has been a great friend to me as well. So we shall see where it goes....I am very cautious. I am just waiting for the shoe to drop off the other foot LOL. I had already made a decision to take myself off of the dating sites as I keep meeting bad people one after another. Adding a chronic illness to that, a majority of guys just do not understand. So I rather be single than trying to find a man to have a relationship with. Anyway I have talked long enough but just wanted to get those things off my chest.