Pain Is Such A Huge Part Of My Life ...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JLH, Mar 15, 2010.

  1. JLH

    JLH New Member

    If I had to make only one statement today, it would be:

    Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of my life that I expect it to always be there. Because I can't remember a time in my life when it wasn't.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/15/2010]
  2. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    We are severely undermedicated when it comes to this pain. There are real pain relievers out there, but doctors rarely give them.

    I'm in so much pain tonight that I've actually been looking up suicide pills. I wouldn't keep a pet in the state I'm in right now. I'm in a massive pain flare up.

    I often go undermedicated because I'm alone now and I have to be clean and sober to get things done or I can't. So on the stressful days when I absolutely need something for pain, I don't take anything. And then I pay so badly afterward that nothing is ever worth it.

    I remember being a child and not being in pain like this. I remember prior to getting sick not being in pain like this and not getting all these other symptoms. I wasn't born this way. I got sick.

    This has to end at some point.
  3. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I completely understand. I am always experiencing this gnawing achy/pain in the background of everything...and that's when it's tolerable. The other times it's pain that I sometimes can't "think" through.

    It's so sad, so very sad. I can't imagine watching someone I loved dearly going through this day after day.

    That's why I feel for everyone here.

    Bless us all.
  4. DemonFairy

    DemonFairy New Member

    I don't know about you, but when I take my pain meds regularly (and I'm pretty sure I take more Oxycodone than most of you - 60 mg every 4 hours), it doesn't affect my functionality at all. I'm not woozy or wobbly or wasted or any different, EXCEPT I'm in less pain. Most people, when they take their opioids regularly do not get any sort of high and they function just like normal people do without pain meds.

    Have you tried taking your meds on a regular schedule (every day at certain times), and does it affect you adversely? Both my partner and I regularly take our Oxycodone (I take 60mg every 4 hours, she takes 15 mg every 8 hours), and neither of us feel differently than we did before we took meds, except when we take our meds, we feel less pain. Please try it BEFORE you look up doing anything drastic. It's better to take your pain meds regularly and feel relief than to suffer and look for other ways out.

    I'm 45, and I never felt this kind of pain until I was 41 and herniated a disk and then developed FM. However, my goal is still to find the right pain meds to let me live a completely normal life. Right now, I can't afford the medication that works best for me, Fentanyl patches, those help me live w/o the rollercoaster of pain/no pain, especially when I have a breakthrough pain med in addition to the patches. My current main problem is financial & stress-related, because I think that if I had all the money in the world, the lack of stress combined with the best pain meds (for *me* - everyone is different) would drastically change my life. However, right now I'm doing the best I can with what I have, and at least the pain isn't the part that makes me think that my life isn't worth living. I have more of a problem with exhaustion, even though I'm in pain almost constantly. However, I KNOW that my pain can be managed with the right meds - the fatigue and the brain fog, that's a completely different problem.

    So, please, before you look for ways out, look for ways to control your pain first. Believe me, the pain control is probably the lesser of your evils.

    Also, they're constantly working on meds to help us. Have you tried Reboxetine (you can get it from Canada w/ a prescription from a US doctor from Canada Meds and it's fairly cheap), Cymbalta, Lyrica, Savella, Hydromorphone, Oxymorphone, etc.? There are tons of meds to try, if you can find a doctor that will help. I've been fortunate in that the only thing holding me back is my financial situation - my doctor has let me try everything, except Xyrem. Maybe you either need to find a new doctor or you need to take your meds regularly to see if that helps. It's more helpful to take your meds regularly to PREVENT pain than to try to catch up to the pain after it already starts. So, give that a shot before you think about anything else. Believe me, if anyone has a reason to look for a way out, it's me - my car was repo'd, I lost my home of 9 years to foreclosure, I haven't spoken to my brothers for a year since they accused me of being a drug addict (my doctor sees me more often than they do, and he doesn't run a pill-mill, and *he's* not worried about my med usage...I take my pain meds as prescribed and I'm completely functional, no one would know that I'm on Oxycodone unless I tell them), and I can't afford to pay the exorbitant rent that Freddie Mac is charging me for my (former) home. They paid $103,000 for it and are charging me $1350/month, about double what the payments should be.

    So, try regular pain meds first, before you try ANYTHING else. Also, anti-depressants, like Cymbalta also help relieve FM for some people, so you might want to try that, too.

    Okay, lecture over. ;)
  5. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    And don't come back another day!

    Those are my words of wisdom for the day. We do not deserve to have to live with this ever present monkey on our backs! There has got to be something on the horizon to help us (in a healthy way, w no side effects!)...I'm hopefully dreaming.

    I can relate to the feeling of just wanting it ALL to stop, I've been there too many days to count. I always think of my family tho, and how they would be devastated if I were to do something stupid. My sweet 86 yr old mother would die right along with me; I could never do that to her.

    *****THIS TOO SHALL PASS*****... a few more words of wisdom.

    Try and remember this everyone, and we do have each other here at this message board, thank goodness:)
  6. spacee

    spacee Member

    There are different degrees of illness. Our poor TeaBiscuit and several others are considered
    'end stage' with lyme or other things.

    I shed tears for what Tea goes through. It is inhumane.

    Just my input.

  7. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I don't post much about how I REALLY feel, because .... because I don't know why. I am retired and my husband just retired last year. So now, it's just me and him, unfortunately! LOL All my children are married and out of the house. My husband is a very quiet man, never initiates any conversation, won't participate in conversation, and I don't think he even listens to what I say, so there is no use to tell him how I feel.

    He has told me before there is no use to talk about how bad I feel, because nobody wants to hear it--meaning him!!! He has told me that I am not the only one who feels this bad--that he is developing arthritis, too, and aches. I've tried to tell him that his aches can in no way be compared to how badly I feel, but he doesn't believe it. So I have quit talking to him about it.

    He has to know how I feel because he knows that I can't get out of bed until 3 pm in the afternoon, then I'm up in my wheelchair for only hours before I have to go back to bed for an hour or so to rest, and the cycle goes on until bedtime.

    If you look at my bio and see all of my health problems, you still can't imagine how much pain that I am in daily. The weakness in my body; the fatigue; the depression. I had a mini-stroke last year that has affected my memory even more, coupled with the fibro fog, and now I can't get anything straight!! I need to have a total knee replacement this spring. I'm putting it off as long as I can because after I had the last one done, about a year or so ago,, I knew he did not help me much, and it was hard.

    The last poster mentioned being in the "end stage" of fibro ... well, I'm in the end-stage of life due to all my problems--my heart and everything else is not in the greatest shape. I am 59 and I know for sure that I probably won't make it to 65. I really hate that because I want to see my grandchildren grow up.

    I just keep praying for life without pain, fatigue, weakness, and depression. I would like to be able to stand and walk again, which I can't because of my back problems. I feel like a prisoner is my own home. I can't stand it sometimes.

    Well, I better shut up, since I'm obviously depressed today and feeling "whoa is me", and just go get my friend, Mr. Heating Pad, and settle in to my LazyBoy rocker and get ready to watch American Idol tonight!!

    Thanks for all your replies.


    LEFTYGG Member

    I cant remember how it feels not to have pain. I see much older people walking and I think gee wish I could do that.
  9. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell us how you're feeling. It helps to vent, even if it's thru a keyboard!

    Have a lovely evening w your heating pad and American Idol. I'm having a date w my electric blanket and watching LOST! :)
  10. Pebbles730

    Pebbles730 New Member

    I know that we all know what the pain and hopelessness is like in this DD. I remember when I could not find a doctor to help that I felt the same thing, if it doesn't end soon I'm going to end it. But it took some time and I did find help. The only thing I can say is never give up! There is always another way and when it seems at it's very worst you can always come here to talk to people that really understand what is going on and what it really feels like.

    Hugs to everyone!