Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Bunky, Apr 19, 2006.

  1. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    I have terrible pain...been diagnoised with fibro. since 1981..this is very unusual as I was assulted and my right leg was twisted and wrenched.also asodimised and raped. the pain started on the side that happened..and has gone up the right side and now also on the left side ..right now the pain in my chest area and rib cage area is unbearable..I even called 911 one night as I thought I was having another heart attact..they did tests and not a heart atact...they gave me morophine and that took the pain away for a bit..all kinds of tests and never found out the cause..I am a nurse and the nurse at the doctors office and I decided it was the fibro...but, the specialist will not order much for the he is sending me to another doctor... as if he could not write pain meds..they are afraid to write scrips for anything stronger than Vicodin it seems they are being monitored everyone sends me to another drives me I do not have much money now that I am on disabitility.. and do try to work one day a week... then I can make it..but, the pain has been so bad I can hardly get out of bed at times and nothing takes the pain away..just rest and the heating pads I put where ever the pain is the worst..their has been times I have pain ..but, I can tolerate I have worked a lot of years in nursing and just delt with the pain..and if I could not walk or something.. would call of for a few days and they did not mind that...their has been times I have worked in a wheelchair at work..come to find out I had a stress fracture of my right ankle and no wonder I was in pain at rested a few days and wore a half cast and went to work ..and just tolerated the discomfort I can not take it any more and the pain is terrible on my left side rib cage and under my left chest...I really think that a long acting morophine would help..but, have not been able to get the doctor to order like I said he is sending me to another specialist...I want to feel better and live and go to work one day a week.. then I can pay the bills.. and buy food and gasoline and maybe buy something special like candles and etc..does anyone have this much pain?...Does the doctor you go to give you pain meds?...Thank you Ruth...Also this year my son passed was a long long illness..he had sever hemophilia and was hiv poss. for 20 yeas and turned to the Lord for his entire I know he is in heaven..but, the pain is still present and I think that going threw this pain and loss has also increased my pain level regarding the fibro..and the other things that go with all this....I did have a heart attact in the middle of his illness when he was having a bone morrow done and he monned out in pain.. it about killed me..that time they put in a the first one was 100% stress has been a big problem..and I can not take the pain hurts so almost like I need a helper to remind me to get up and dressed and do things as I would just stay in bed all day and sleep if I could..when I am in so much pain that is..other times I am ok...when the pain is not so bad..I just wish the doctor would understand..I asked him yesterday if he ever had a patient that had their leg twisted and wrenched, and raped and the other deal, like I have and he has the fibro ..has been caused by an sever injury and very different than some people with it..does anyone know of anyone who has had this happen to them?..
  2. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    A lot of us can't read long posts without breaks.If you would please put some breaks in,I would love to read this.Thank you.Linda
  3. Yucca13

    Yucca13 Member

    We are close in age and have been afflicted with the problem of fibro for about the same length of time.

    I am very sorry to hear about all of the challenges you have had. I can't imagine watching my son go through all of what your son did. That had to have been immensely stressful for you. Having been brutally attacked is something that must always stay in your mind and affect your body too.

    It's wonderful that you are a nurse, but it must be discouraging for you to be unable to work due to the unending pain.

    What kind of specialist is your doctor sending you to? I feel I was fated to find my doctor who is a physiatrist in a Pain and Rehabilitation practice. He has given me the opportunity to try many different kinds of pain medications, including the Duragsic Patch. My GP would only give me Vicodin. Actually, as you probably know, there are pain relievers that are easier on the liver than Vicodin.

    I have had additional stressors in the past year - my two youngest daughters decided that they didn't want me in their life. This has been very hard to deal with. So, in addition to pain, trying to fight depression is something I am familiar with too.

    I live in a desert, so when I read in your bio that you live near a river, I thought: "how cool". I would be hanging out near it too. I have a bunch of cats that I love and that need me and a great husband who has alot of pain himself but keeps on keeping on. Thank goodness he does because I don't contribute much with my little bit of disability money.

    My suggestion would be to try to find a doctor that is educated in many facets of pain relief. My doctor can also do epidurals and trigger point injections and knows about natural cures too.

    I sure hope you are able to get some help with pain relief. No one should suffer unnecessarily.

    Write to me if you want. I will answer.
  4. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Bear the pain as much as you can. I know it seems like a little thing, but a large heating pad could be your next best friend. I am on one when I am not walking around.
    It is a great comfort.

    What I got out of your post is a big ball of yarn. Stupid, I know, but sometimes what is needed is to unravel it, cut it and take one problem at a time instead of rolling them all up into one big stressor. Wrong, I might be, but it was just an impression I got from reading.

    You get some rest. Good rest. Do not let this disease make you overwrought (I should take my own advice on that one today). And try the heating pad: a nice large one.

    I hope the pain goes away....and here is a gentle


  5. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    You have had a very hard life and experiences and my sincere condolences to you.

    This pain sounds awful and I do think you could maybe get someone to help you a little more. Is there another medical group you could go to?

    It sounds as if the experiences you had set up a nerve(neuro) problem and I am wondering if a neuro would be able to help.

    I do not know where you live, but MA General has a Pain Clinic where they are inserting a sort of pacemaker likemdevice that controls nerve pain. A relative of mine is running that clinic and a friend of my MIL's here has one implanted now.

    This may be a choice for you if you have insurance.

    It may help, dear, if you could press the edit button on your post, and just chop your post into smaller paragraphs, then you will get more replies.

    Blessings, and try not to scare yourself, try and be good to yourself and relax a little when you are able to.

    Love and hugs Anne C
  6. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    It must be hard to deal with the assault.I'm sorry that the pain is so bad for you.Just wanted to say I care.I'll say a prayer that things get easier for you.Linda
  7. sassy50

    sassy50 New Member

    Hi just signed on for the second time...and I also had a hard time reading your message...but your pain reminds me of my sister who is completely disabled with RDS (Reflex Pain Dystrophy)...I suggest you check that out. It is another auto immune disease much more painful than Fibro, and usually comes on after an accident or something happens to you physically.

    You may really have that.

    I have fibro and hypothyroid.

    When I am going thru an extremely emotional period of stress, my pain becomes much worse.

    Hoping you find peace and answers.

    Sassy 50
  8. mamie43

    mamie43 Member

    Bunky, You must be going through Hell right now! Thats an understatement. You are going through Hell right now. To have watched helplessly as your son was dying and knowing that there was no hope to recover, is about the worst that a parent can go though in life. Even if you didn't have a pain syndrome, you would suffer like you've never suffered before.

    I can't begin to imagine the torture and pain that you are experiencing right now. I have had fibro for many years, at least 25, and I want to tell you that I've had excruciating pain the last couple of years. It wasn't half as bad before I started to worry about my aging mom. I cared for her as long as I could and got worse day by day. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers but also was seriously hurt because of her loss of balance that began last year.

    She's now in a Home for the aged and I went through months of feeling guilty that I was too ill to go on caring for her. The more I felt guilty, the worst the pain got. I finally convinced my dr. to give me something for the pain by telling him that my husband was getting pain meds on the streets and I'd rather get a prescription in case of bad drugs. I told my dr. that I deserved a quality of life, even if it meant just an hour a day.

    He agreed and I've been on oxycontin since then. Now, what you are going through is a lot deeper than what a lot of us are living with. You are suffering so much that its eating at you from the inside out. You must be in so much pain and anguish that one cannot even imagine what it is to feel a fraction of what you feel. If people can stop and think:"walk a mile in my shoes", then at least its a beginning for empathy.

    Do you have someone to really talk to that can empathize and not trivialize what you are going through? A doctor should know better than what doctors you've been seeing know. A mother who suffers from a very painful syndrome who has lost her son to a slow tormenting disease and has been through a violent rape and everything else, like losing her ability to function because of this crappy syndrome should not be shrugged off by so-called doctors and not being taken seriously!!!!!

    I know of a website where you can have counselling for free and the therapists are for real! Too bad I can't give you the info or can I? I must go through the rules again. Its been a long time. I personally worked with these very humane pros and they are so generous to help people who usually can't afford help. Only if you wanted it. It's only a thought. There are a lot of people here who would love to listen.

    I'm sending you a big hug and I feel for you, I genuinely do. You are a brave woman! You have a lot of strength.


  9. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    HI, You said your two daughters are not speaking to you ..Terrible...My daughter is not speaking to me either...she is something else..she did help with the dressing of me for the funeral and whe will not even call..and let Christmas pass like I was not even alive..and was called when I was in the hospital and did not come and see me..I wonder why our children turn away from us?...I have e-mailed her at first daily as my therapist suggested no contact with her and see what happens.nothing has happened..I made a Easter basket for her with an antique basket and the therapist said not to put it at her door..well, I did on I had to get out that responce...does your daughters have an excuse for not communicating? So is very we raised then.. and dresssed them and cared for them and put them threw college and provided cars for years for her and money ..well it seems almost cruel..we gave birth to them and Life to them and Love to is just rude if you asked expecially as she is all I have left...
  10. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    I know how dificult it is to care for your mom..I did care for my mama at my home till she passed..I tried to work nights..but, my paycheck bounced..My father passed before her. I cared for him and changed his dressing for so long as he would not let anyone else..went their three times a day.. and when he passed she went nuts and could not care for herself..being I am a nurse I was deligated to care for her and take care of is a challenge for friend is caring for her mom now..she hardly gets out..she is retired from MSU and retired to care for she did not want her in the nursing home..her sister did.. so a big deal to get her out and home...I Loved mama so I am sure you do your mom,,But she is best in the nursing now you are not able to care for her..I am sorry..
  11. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    I do love the is nice and warm for sure...I was out west and Nevada and also went to Sedona, Arizonia..and Gabbs Nevada and migree creek and it was nice in the warm Nevada also helped the fibro I think...Where in the desert do you live?..I feel a bit better today..and hope to get out and do something I love the soil and planting and usually have a small garden..have blue spruce all around me..except for the river where their is Maple trees and others around at the edge of the river..have made maple syrup before.. fun..have a fire pit and have fires their.. and it is a delight ..but, the desert I know helps the are lucky to have a husband ..and to live in the desert where it is warm !!!Hope you have a great day today and everyday...
  12. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    I am sorry my note as so long..I do not know what you mean by breaks...I talk like I write a lot..I do not know how to cut and paste..Have a great day today and everyday..and may the Lord bless you today right this minute!!!
  13. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    Thank you for your Hug!!!...We need all the hugs we can get..right....I am much better today...Hope you have a great day today and every day..and may God bless you today and every day!!!..
  14. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    click on edit on the left side of your post.Place the cursor wherever you want the breaks to be and hit return twice.Hope this helps,Linda
  15. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    I do go to a therapist..she is very nice..I have missed the last few visits.. as I was not feeling well enough to get out and about.. and Okemos is a few miles, about 17 away...She got a book on Fibro. and is reading about it..I went to a nut doctor..ha ha...and he did a 24 hour urine and some blood work and it was all normal and said I was just tired and just lost my son and had a right to be down and sad..and I was 60 and it is harder when you are older to pull yourself back up and keep then I just am going to the therapist...once a week...I am not really sure it helps..she does not charge very much.. hardly anything..I think she has me pay a bit as that is a theary they have ..thank you for responding to my e-mail..Ruth..Bunky..
  16. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    I guess I type like I talk...on and on..ha ha...I had not typed in years maybe 35.. and my son said, {before he died he lived with me a year in 2000..when he got treatment for hep-c} get your big print bible.. and turn to psalms 91.. and type that... then I caught on a bit...Oh the specialist office just called and wants me in today..but, the girl that called said their was no opening today I go in tomorrow morning.. regarding the cat scan I had this week on my lungs and spleen...I still think the pain is from the fibro.. and he could give me stronger pain meds..I do use the heating pad... and have for many years.. I can not tell you how many I have had to buy... as they wear out after while..I use two big ones ..and try to put them on the worst pain site..Thank you for responding to me..Ruth..Bunky..
  17. srh

    srh New Member

    Don't be sorry you type or talk like you do.

    It's hard for some to read, but just do like your son told you and practice. That way you'll get the hang of it in no time.

    I'm so sorry about losing your son. We lost one of ours also. My prayers go out to you.

    In the meantime, type away.

    I'm sorry you have this awful disease. Hang in there. Hopefully your specialist can help you.

    [This Message was Edited on 04/20/2006]
  18. Yucca13

    Yucca13 Member

    Thanks for writing. Yes, this old desert is starting to get pretty warm - near 80 today. We are not to far from Palm Springs, CA and also the largest Marine base (in area) in the U.S. in 29 Palms. We have a long, hot summer but not like near sea level in the lower desert. I could not stand to live there. We had snow here about month ago and much of the winter was on the cool side. We heat our house with wood and went through three cords. Our area has been discovered lately and the population increased by half. I'm not enthused about all the new constuction - it is ruining the small town atmosphere.

    I like to garden but mostly grow flowers in pots as our water rates are quite high. It gets so intensely hot that it is a real challenge to grow many things. I need to get myself outside and transplant a few things now that the wind has stopped blowing and I feel somewhat better than for the last few days. I find that the fibro will hit me hard for a few days and thank goodness, back off for a while. Reflex Sympathetic Dystophy was mentioned in one of the posts to you. I had that in my foot about 15 years ago and that was the most painful ordeal I've ever been through. I'm one of the lucky ones who isn't still in pain from it. Have they ruled that out as a possibility for some of the pain you experience?

    I'm sorry your daughter has been ignoring you. Believe me, I know how hurtful it is. My two daughters (27 & 28) decided a year ago in March that they did not want a relationship with me or their older sister. They announced it with a message on my daughter's phone and a follow-up e-mail telling us what abusive mothers we are (guess because we yelled at our kids on occasion). The catalyst for this happening was (I believe) the older of the two being asked for a divorce. She had to have someone to take her misery out on and I guess we were it. For her to turn her sister against us also extremely hurtful as my oldest daughter and I always felt very close to her.

    I've come to the point of acceptance but still cry often. Being told that I just want people to feel sorry for me was a real blow. I've never really had a career, but thought of myself as a pretty good mom. I worked hard to earn my AA in History a few years ago but haven't been able to work for a couple of years now. At least my other daughter and my son still think so. My husband has been caught in the crossfire too and he was always a great step-dad to them.

    My best friend passed away suddenly on March 2 this year. I miss not having her to drop in on or talk with on the phone. She was truly a unique person.

    I'm glad you are feeling better. Sometimes I have to take it almost an hour at a time when depression hits. I am going to go to a new therapist on May 2. I hope it will help with coping with the things I cannot change.
    Take care,

  19. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    I read your letter and find that sometimes we can not change things that happen to us..just believe it all has a reason..It is hard sometimes though...I live on the river and wish I had a woodburning stove....but, I know I could not cut wood now..have had one when I lived in Pine Valley the mt's...It is really peacful here and I have found peace here..for years...this is the first real terrible attact that I have had with the fibro. this bad..although I forget somethings along the way of life..ha ha...I do know that when my daughter graduated from MSU she decided to go to Florida..and packed up her car..that I gave her..ha ha..and I was too ill to even help her pack the car or walk out to say maybe I have had times when I hurt this much ...but, never on the left side it all started on the right side..I used to get massage therapy on a real regular basis and did not want the massage therapist to even massage the left It never hurt...took B12 shots and after a bit gave them to mysef then I worked in a derm office and could give them to myself when ever ..I do feel that kept me going I never have had this pain so bad...the doctors office called and I go to him again tomorrow..I just do not think that all doctors know the extent of the pain..I thought he did as he is one of the first doctors that have even written a scrip for vicodin..will see tomorrow what he says..I know I do feel better today as I took a walk with a friend that stopped by..but, I got dizzy and he walked me back in the house so I could lay down..I am up now on the computer so that is a good sign..right...I do have a number of friends is retired and caring for her mom and another is retired and I went with him to the hospital a distance away as he had a brain anurisiom..they found two ..stayed with him ..durning the day and went to a Best Western close by at night..that wore me out a tad..and the day before all that my twin was in ICU and I had worked sat. night so on sunday I drove to Lovonia and was with him and his wife..he has scarcadosis of the lungs 45% lung he is on 02 24- 7...his wife is a nurse too so that is good thing...he built this computer and pays for the internet service..So I am really blessed with friends..and a lot of I grew up in a family grocery store in a small town..and I live their their is a lot of people I know..some friends and others just once in a while...My one friend has given me free massages for years..I meet him in the 80's it has been a while that he and his wife have stopped by...his table is here so I know he will be by soon...that helps and hot showers and hot baths..sometimes I take two or three showers a I do not have a water I have an artession well on this was capped and the overflow goes over the side of the bank under the ground in a rubber tubing till it gets to the side of the bank..lots of water ..this place used to be a babtism sight..years my mom told me..then a small pump pumps some up to the storage tank and when the tank gets at a certain level it will pump more into it..then the water except the cold water for the outside and the kitchen goes threw a water it is real rusty..but, tastes so good..I do not like any other water..and some people do not like the taste as they are used to the city water..I surly am blessed..Thanks for responding to me..I do get flustrated at times as I do not like to have pain and do not like to be able to do things I used to do so easily...getting old..ha one ever guesses I am well I look much younger..just these last few years have took the sail out of me..must go time flys so fast on this thing..Ruth...from the boonies...
  20. Bunky

    Bunky New Member

    Your note really made me feel better..i am so sorry that you lost your son...the pain is unbearable..he lived only for the Lord all his life..and had a terible disease even before he got HIV and then the rest..How old was your son?..Mine was 35..his name was Danfoth David Goff..he left me his music on tapes in a an duffle bag..I put a lot of it on CD and play it a is like having him here..his spirt is I know...about 40 or more he played a lot of musical insterments..yuk by 3 and then piano then flute then he taught himself guitar and then drums and he played harmonica and I got him a deal to hold it up to his mouth so he could play the guitar at the same time and then he would put his flute on one part of the tape deal somehow and that also would be in the is so he was filled with the Holy Spirit like I have never known..and I grew up in a very spirtial church with parents that we all went to church and such..but, what really counts is if you have Jesus in your heart and a relationship with Him..I could go on and on about my son..How long ago did you loose your son?..One of my old classmates said her son has been gone 23 years and she still hurts and sometimes crys..she has a wonderful husband...that is a bonus for I have been around and about with men and I do not think I will go around and about again...if you know what I mean...Thanks again for responding to me..and telling me to type away as I can do it ..but do not know how for sure about the rest...just a hoot...

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