Painful intercourse with hubbyanyone relate? Why?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by baanders, Jun 14, 2006.

  1. baanders

    baanders New Member

    I got married over 1 year ago. I'm 33. Ever since, intercourse has been painful. Can anyone relate this to their painful FM? I'm scared to get exploratory surgery to see if I have endometriosis because I've read on some of these boards that the surgery can worsen the fibro. Besides, that wouldn't get rid of endometriosis if it were there. I just want to know if anyone knows of any professional resources (pamphlets, reliable internet sources) that indicate that painful intercourse is part of fibro. Of course the drugs that take away my libido I'm sure aren't helping.
  2. dleaning

    dleaning New Member

    I would like to know why too!! I usually just grin and bear the pain for hubby sake.

    Yes, I relate this to FM. I never had a problem before I was dx.

    You are not alone. I was a little scared to post this myself, it's nice to know others have it too!

    Dawn
  3. tomcollins

    tomcollins New Member

    the show is called Talk Sex and the lady is Sue Johanson and it comes on Oxygen and it comes on Sunday nights. She has a website where she will also answer questions. talk sex with sue dot com.

    hope this helps some.
  4. blessedmom2four

    blessedmom2four New Member

    like someone else said i just grin and bear it, besides after being married for over 7 years it can sometimes be frequent but doesnt last more than 5 min........lol
  5. Forebearance

    Forebearance Member

    Hi, baanders,

    I have a couple suggestions for you.

    First one is, go see a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor muscles. There is usually one or two in any larger town. You can find them in the Yellow Pages, and they usually advertise something about treating 'women's problems'. Or post-pregnancy, incontinence, etc.

    She will be able to feel around for your tender points and help them get better. Also, PTs are great because they will prescribe you custom-designed exercises and stretches for your strength level and muscle needs.

    I don't know if they would do this for your particular case or not, but one other thing they can offer is biofeedback for the pelvic floor muscles, which is interesting and fun to do.

    Okay, second suggestion. Find out if your progesterone levels are a bit low. If they are, try a little natural progesterone cream. You can get it at health food stores. Progesterone is in charge of making your smooth muscles relax. It feels very soothing for all your muscles when you use it.

    I hope these suggestions were helpful.

    I can't offer much for the low libido, except fish oil of course. But I mean, you are very ill. Low libido seems understandable. Oh yeah, I forgot! Some people say that progesterone cream can improve libido!

    Love,
    Forebearance
  6. janieb

    janieb New Member

    was recommended to me by my GP. She deals with problems that have been bothering me for a very long time. We have several forster children, but no children of our own.

    She believes there is a muscle that is not relaxing enough, along with hormone problems that make entry difficult.

    She prescribed a medication and I'm waiting for it to arrive. Hope this is helpful.

    janieb
  7. baanders

    baanders New Member

    is your doctor prescribing to help with painful intercourse?
  8. pinsnneed1es

    pinsnneed1es New Member

    that when I get stressed out with a guy that it is always painful. I just have to take time out for us and relax, sometimes, just cuddle. If your not so stressed out about your problems, then you typically can go back and relax about your judgement. Just rember it isn't having sex but making love that is theimportance part of intercourse.
  9. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    But I refuse to grin and bare it.I have only been married 5 yrs .

    We have not had sex in 2 yrs.Its to painful for me and my DH understands.It took a while to get used to but now we just cuddle.

    Sue
  10. tandy

    tandy New Member

    although I'm not sure if its another symptom of Fibro??
    could be.
    I have Endometriosis along with Fibro,...
    so thats the reason for painful sex here.
    For me,..its not always painful.
    Seems to be just times when I'm suppose to menstruating or times when my endo is inflammed.
    Which is way too often.
    I'd guess and say that its painful 90% of the time.

    I also just go ahead with it cause "what else can ya do?" I hurt alot more in muscle pain for a day or 2 after.
    I don't give in too often tho :)
    my poor man~
    even more so,...poor me!! lol

    Good luck~
    Tandy
  11. KMD90603

    KMD90603 New Member

    yes, I can relate. My hubby and I have been married for almost 3 years, and we have a son together. Ever since having my son, I've noticed intercourse is alot more uncomfortable. I have a feeling that it has to do with being on birth control, at least for me. When I wasn't on birth control, I never had a problem and I had a much better sex drive. Now I'm on birth control and sex has become more uncomfortable. I never really thought about whether or not it has anything to do with the CFIDS/FM, however, I know that he CFIDS plays a big part in my not desiring it so much any more. Half the time I just do it for my husband's sake.

    Gentle healing hugs,
    Kim
  12. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Have you had an exam with your GYN doc? If not, you should.

    Have your hormone levels checked.

    If you are having any dryness, ask him/her if you would do better with some type of hormone cream (if needed) or some OTC lubrication like KY Jelly, etc.

    My daughter, at age 30, had surgery for her endometriosis. It was not bad, she said. She also has fibro, arthritis, etc. If you have endometriosis, you need to have it checked into SOON before it spreads and attaches itself to your other organs. That is what my daughter's had done.

    Her surgery was done with a laproscope--where they only need to make a tiny incision to put the scope. Practically painless. She was just a little sore. But no big deal otherwise.

    You stated that if they did exploratory surgery to see if you had endometriosis that it wouldn't get rid of it if it were there--wrong. They do the surgery to see if it is there and if it is, they go ahead and remove it all while they are in there!!! That way, you only have surgery once.

    Please make an appt. with your GYN if you haven't been in a while. I think you would find that he/she could probably help you a lot with your problems.

    Hugs,
    Janet

    P.S. Until your appt., I am sure that you and your new husband can come up with some other creative ways to be intimate with each other!!!
    [This Message was Edited on 06/14/2006]
  13. gladone

    gladone New Member

    it is sad that so many of us relate to this problem.

    My doc has a name for it.........Vulvodynia or Vulvar pain. Some of the symptoms are brought on by using a tampon or sex.

    Symptoms can include burning pain at the pubic bone level, pain in the bum or thighs, numbness, general discomfort, itching and drynrss, swelling, pianful urination, low back pain, pain in the pelvic floor, alot of sensitivity at the edges of the small labia, and internal cyst's are often present.

    This problem is considered one of the "Nonplus Conditions" along with CFS, FM, MCS, and IBS.

    So, it seems we may have yet another DD to add to are list's.

    Hope this info is helpful,
    Gladone

  14. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    We've also discussed joint pain during intercourse on here a few times. (hips, knees etc)

    Very different, but a problem for some too.

    Somewhere on here is a very long thread with suggestions on variations of positions that have worked well for some of us.

    My only pain right now is not getting ANY intercourse since hubby's sick too. (Big sigh.... and shame on me!!)

    Nancy B
  15. starmom

    starmom New Member

    I don't know much about expploratory surgery for endo, but I had painful sex when I still had all my female organs. I had a total hysterectomy due to cystic ovaries (BAD), endo (FAR worse than they thought before surgery), and bad PAP smears.

    I will tell you what my doc told me. Get a full STD screen, including HPV and all others. Some can be dormant in you for years before causing problems. Then talk to a very understanding OB/GYN and explore your options.

    Sex should not hurt. But it does sometimes. It wasn't my fibro, except for times when a muscle spasmed in my hip or something.

    Hugs,
    Susie
  16. millennia

    millennia New Member

    Did you tell your gyn about it? I had the same problem (still do sometimes) and being that my mother had endometriosis and had to have a full hysterectomy before she was thirty, I was concerned. I went to my gyn and she told me that I have a tilted uterus. Your gyn can check during a regular exam. There is surgery to correct it, if it is really bad. Many women just experiment with different positions. Go to your doctor, you may find out it's not something scary at all. And I also found that when you expect sex to be painful, you tense up and it is even more painful, not to mention the added worry that it's from something serious. Hopefully when you go to the doctor you'll just find out that it means you and your hubby have to try new things in bed, whether that means new positions, some warming jelly or a nice long massage from him to relax you first! And if it is something serious, the sooner you find out the better.

    No matter what the verdict, I say you tell your husband that you were told a long massage would help!