Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by budmickl, Apr 25, 2008.

  1. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Happy Birthday!

    I hope you are checking in while working through your personal time and that things are going your way.

    Let us know how you are if you can.

  2. 4everkid

    4everkid New Member

    I would like to join in and wish PainterZ a happy birthday too! Plus, how did things go in court? Did you get custody of your daughter? I have been hoping and praying that things would go your way, and that your daughter will end up safely with you. That would be the greatest birthday gift of all!

    Please let us know how it turned out. I hope all is well. I miss talking with you here. I hope you return soon.
  3. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I hope it was a good one.........and that all is working out for you.

    God Bless SUsan
  4. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Bumping for PainterZ
  5. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

  6. painterZ

    painterZ New Member

    I totally just noticed this post...thank you all so much for your comments and bumping it so I can see it, I'm honestly touched.

    As for court, we canceled it last minute for an attempt at mediation (again). My therapist and lawyer did not feel like I could handle two days of intense examination. Apparently I would be the one on the stand for most of the trial. I was outraged!! I was angry at my therapist and my lawyer and falling into a rather deep depression. The mediation beneifts my ex-MIL and ex. They will all be moving into my ex's home as soon as school ends in a few weeks. My ex is supposed to continue with his therapy but he has already decreased how often he sees his doctors. My lawyer and I feel like as soon as the papers come through he will discontinue it completely. I DO get a woping 2hrs of unsupervised visits with my daughter AFTER two family therapy sessions. I was actually very happy about the family therapy...I had hopes...but as usual my ex-mil (who now has guardianship of my daughter) is doing everything possible to interrupt the family therapy order. Every therapist that is found she finds issues with and nixes them. Its hard finding a family and child therapist who knows about dissociative dissorders and we actually found one who is only in our area 1/2 day once a week. He's willing to take us on but my ex-mil has to "assess him and determine (her) answer". I've done as much as I can to try to set up something with my ex-MIL but she won't even return her lawyers calls regarding all of this. We can't do anything until the actual papers come from court, which apparently can take a while. My lawyer said that the day the mediation took place a "professional agreement" was made that the orders would begin THAT DAY. My ex-mil had agreed to this and now nothing. She also stated AFTER the agreement that she would only allow for 4 therapy sessions. The orders go on and on with things like me having to purchase a cell phone for my daughter so that if I go crazy or something she can call for help. That's fine...whatever...but what will my daughter think unless it can be explained about WHY she will have the phone and a little about my psych issues? Things are still a mess but I am grateful for my two unsupervised hours...whenever that will be. I'm holding on to threads here but at least its something. Oh, and my daughter started calling my ex-mil "Mama". I have no idea whether that was something she started or my ex-mil. Its a little weird that it started around the time my ex-mil took guardianship with many more orders depicting her role. Believe it or not I am really greatful that she was willing to take custody when everything fell apart, but she's not "Mama" and I wish she would clarify the with my daughter.

    All said, my b-day was low key and nice. I had dinner with my daughter at my parent's house, we went to Rita's Italian Ice for dessert and watched a movie. I couldn't ask for anything more.

    Well, again, thanks for remembering me. I've been hanging around the LOST post a while. Sometimes I want to jump in and join but I'm kinda in a rut and its hard to post positive or helpful things. I don't want to say something wrong to someone.

  7. painterZ

    painterZ New Member

    For those who have not seen my responses:)

  8. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    I don't think I knew you too well as I had been on and off for a bit and wasn't responding much...just lurking.

    Sounds like really tough times, but I'm glad that you are able to see your daughter now and that she had birthday dinner with you.

    Hope this bumps this back up for others to read. These family issues are always so hard to deal with...I've been through a divorce a long time ago, but it was very hard.

    Hang in there...wishing you the best.

  9. 4everkid

    4everkid New Member

    PainterZ - Thanks for taking the time to update us on the status of your custody battle. I have wondered about you so many times, and how it went.

    It sounds like your ex MIL is being a royal pain in the butt. She is doing everything she can to stop the progression of events that need to take place. Is there anything that can be done to force her to comply? Is it HER position to assess the therapist? Can they just assign one that is trained in dissociative disorders instead of leaving her in this position to control things in her favor? She has no right to cheat you out of two measly hours of time with your own daughter, if that was agreed upon. Maybe these are idiotic questions, but I have never gone through anything like this myself.

    And the "Mama" thing..... that's just plain hateful. I don't know how you have the strength and patience to put up with her. You need to tell her that YOU are Mama and always will be. She can be grandma, meema, moo moo, granny, cranky old manipulative bi+@#... whatever she picks....but Mama, Mom, and Mother are all taken! Well...don't say THAT, but what you said above would be perfectly acceptable. You appreciate all she has done, but you are hurt that she is trying to replace you in your daughters eyes.

    I am glad to hear that you did get time with your daughter on your birthday with your own family. It sounds like you had a nice time. I hope you get a lot more of that really soon.

    I have (grown) kids, and I could never imagine having to go through with them what you are. They are my whole world and I live for the next time I will see them, which thankfully is often. I want you to have your daughter back with you - as it should be. So I hope this all gets straightened out soon. I will keep you in my prayers.

    PS - Don't worry about saying something positive or helpful on the Lost thread. Just jump right in and say whatever you feel. You are part of the Lost family, so your opinion counts, no matter what it is.
  10. 4everkid

    4everkid New Member


    This must be the internet's equivalent of "phone tag".

    [This Message was Edited on 05/22/2008]