Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Rene, Aug 18, 2007.

  1. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam how are you doing? Oh I would love to go see Kentucky. I know that is a hard job but I bet it will be pretty there.

    Why do you think Bud has changed? Its just so fast. I'm glad you all had pizza and Alexis like him. Is Andreas parents pretty good to Alexis?

    Well she ended up not going to er and there wasn't any ultra sound on her next. The hard rectangular hard "lump" like 4 inchs long and 1 inch high has really gone down.

    The dr deceided to wait til monday. The on call dr didn't think it needed to be done. Im confused as it was setteled to have it done at the er today if the ultra sound couldn't come to the NH today.

    Anyway I would have thrown a fit (about time) if it was like it was last night and Plus she says it doesn't hurt as bad as it did.

    She wants to eat. The only thing she gets is sugar and sodium. She was a lot more normal today and calmer. I went to the NH 2 hours then went back again at 6 pm.

    She only once got puree foods. So to me I wish we could try puree only before the feeding tube. But she did aspirate (went in her lungs)on the puree. Her coughing has gone down so thats good. But the reason she coughed was due to water and food going in her lungs all the time.

    I tried to call my other brother in HI and his phone is disconnected. Hes lived there about 8 yrs and came back for a visit about 5 yrs ago and I picked him up and took him to see my mom and he stayed for a few days. Hed call only about twice a yr.

    Oh I feel you are here for me. When things happen I need to get on here asap to let you know cause I know you care.
    So thank you.

    Well its late and I'm gonna research a little more.

    Take care,

  2. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I am sorry that things are still the way they are with your Mom. Do they know yet why she keeps getting choked and it goes into her lungs?

    Is there any other way to get a hold of your brother? It is so hard on you to have to do everything by yourself. I hope that you find out something tomorrow. Did your Mom understand what was going on?

    As far as my brother I am not sure. I think Daddy passing away had alot to do with it. He did say to me that he had to grow up because he didn't have any one to keep a roof over his head. I love him but I can not put any trust in him at this time. I was going to give him his part of the life insurance that is left over in cash, it was only $720.
    Bill told to me to write him a check, that way I have a record that he was paid.

    Alexis is crazy about Bud. He feels the same way about her too. He has two grandbabies of his own. I hope he can be a part of their lifes.

    Please keep me posted and try to take care of yourself and get some rest.

    God bless; Pam
  3. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam how are you? Can't believe it will be September in 2 weeks. That was smart of Bill to have you write the check so you'd have a record of it. Wow I didn't know Bud had grandkids.

    Wel the last I talked to the brother in HI was in Oct and he wasn't much help. Hes like I don't know your there do what you think is right. He never followed up. We did talk about 3 times total (me calling him) and he never called to see where she is.

    Saw my mom today. She wants to eat but actually she is taking it super good. I couldn't do it that good. She has not had to be suctioned. Her lungs have been getting filled up with water ect for months as they feed her laying down.

    I didn't know that was so wrong how they fed her as if it was then why did they do it? So I know the new dr wants the tube but he hasn't even seen her but 5 min plus we didn't do the puree. My mom says shes gonna die any way so if she chokes she choke.

    I would like to try the puree for a week and if it causes problems then tube.

    Well I think I have a bug or something really loud in my kithen. Its may be a weird sounding cricket. I'm scared. I wonder what it is? I will try sleeping with the radio and then call maintenace tomorrow.

    Talk to ya later!
  4. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Where you able to find out what was making the loud noise in your kitchen? Did maintance take care of it?

    Bud has two grandkids. A little boy 2 1/2 and a little girl will be two months the 22 of this month. He has seen the little boy only about 3 times and the girl for the first time at Daddy's showing and funeral. I have not saw my great nephew since he was born. I will give him credit he is trying to get back to seeing his children.

    He is so crazy about Alexis. She feels the same way about him. He called this morning and Alexis and I met him for breakfast. He had to bring that check out to our bank to get it cashed. I kept Alexis last night too.

    So if I understand you right the NH caused your Mom to get the liquid in her lungs and choke from feeding her laying down. You are so right they should have known better. I know it is a hard decision to make. If your Mom wants to try it (the puree) is there anyway she can try it and make sure she is sitting up. Maybe for at least one meal. You where right when you said that you didn't want to take the joy of eating away from her. I know you also do not want her to get choked.

    I am going to get started cleaning my house. My son says if a paper is on the floor I think the house is a mess. That is not true his idea of a clean house and mine are very different. LOL

    Take care and keep me posted. You and your Mom are in my thougts and prayers.

    God bless; Pam
  5. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, glad things between you and your brother are going good. I'm sure Alexis really liked going out to eat with both of you. When does Bill get back?

    Well the dr hasn't called and its crazy as she still has no food and I told him we didn't do the puree put one day and she only choked on the foods that wasn't even put through the grinder with no teeth.

    She did aspirate with puree though but the feeding tube has a risk of that in fact I found one study from John Hopinks that a feeding tube DIDN"T reduce the risk for aspiration pneumonia.

    We went to the hospital for her ultra sound for her next. She was doing good. They took he in the ambulance. She cried on the phone that she has no friends and I almost cried. She hasn't been out of her room for months.

    I told her there are lots of nice people there and she should let me take her out.

    Is Alexis starting school soon? Gosh I wish my house was clean. Its depressing. I think I'll leave a little earlier at the NH to get some stuff done.

    Take care,
  6. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    How are things with your Mom? What did they find out about her neck. I felt so bad for her crying on the phone. Does she have any friends that could possibly go visit her? It is so tuff on you. You want to be there and there is no way that you can be there all of the time.

    I know I tried to stay at the hospital all day. Even then I felt bad when I left Daddy. It seemed like the bad nurses where on the night shift. I shouldn't say bad, they just weren't as caring as the most on the day time.

    Where you able to talk to the Dr. today? Are they going to let her do the puree for a few days? I hope so that way she is still getting to eat by mouth.

    How are you doing? That was a dumb question. I bet you are worn out, worried, upset, and probably a little angry all at the same time.

    My house is not all cleaned up yet. I have to take it slow and take a lot of breaks.

    Let me know how you and your Mom are doing.

    God bless; Pam
  7. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam how are you doing?? You are so kind to be concerned about my mom and me.

    Things aren't going good. The dr called and left message yesterday (I was at the NH)and said "sorry I didn't call yesterday I wanted to see what you deceided and I call back" He did and its a long story.

    He said he'll get back to me in a day or two as he has to talk to the speech thearapist!!!!!!!!! I told the dr what we wanted (try puree). I keep reading that g tubes cause pneomonia at a high rate.

    Then today the RN didn't give my mom any meds all day. It was 2 30 and I said where is her morpine and the RN says "she can't have anything by mouth" I told her its liquid and u put it under the tounge.

    I'm sorry I'm so tired and feel so bad for my mom. I hope things turn around for her.

    Well I'm gonna shut off the computer as Im tired.

    Please let me know how you are and what all has been going on with you and the family.

    Take care,
  8. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I am so very sorry that things are still going so badly with your Mom. I can not believe that they exspect her to do without her meds. Is she getting any kind of nourishment at all? Please know that you both remain in my thoughts and prayers.

    Things are ok here. Today was Momma and Daddy's anniversary. They got to spend it togather this year. It was kind of a sad day. I worked on the thank you cards from the funeral. I haven't talked to Bud since Monday.

    I did not get the last insurance check. I was suppose to pay the funeral home on the 21. I explained it to him and he said that he understood about insurance and he gave me an extension. They are really wonderful people.

    The grandbabies are doing ok. Alexis should be starting school here in the next couple of weeks. Draven will be lo months old on the 26. They are both growing so fast.

    It is getting late so I am also going to turn off the computer and go to bed.

    Take care, please get some rest. I am here if you need to talk.

    God bless; Pam
  9. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam how are you doing today? I understand that would be sad about the anniversary and having to do thank you cards. They are together that is for sure. I don't know what to say.

    Is it easier for you when Alexis is in school? I know you help out a lot.

    Well I'm lost. The dr ordered another swallow eval. Why now?? Why not on MOnday?? She does have morpine under the tounge and a pain patch and she is only living on salt and water.

    I am not to happy the the rns. Also last night I called my mom at 7 and she said she didn't have ANY breathing treatment. So I called the RN and she goes "she didn't? I'll do it" My mom should have had her 4th treatment at 8pm and she had none all day.

    Finally after 7 calls the pharmisist called. Told her my mom doesn't want the morpine. One good thing is the pharmacist said my mom is doing good "with out all those meds". She can't have vicodine and ativan and trazadone so that part is good.

    My mom says she wants to go home and Brent will take care of her.

    Well take care,
  10. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    It sounds like things are still a mess with you. I am so sorry.

    Your right why didn't they give her the swallow test on Monday? How long do they think she can stay on the salt water? I wish just once they would put themselves in the place of the patient and family. How would they like it if it was them or a loved one?

    I think that your Mom wants to go home so bad that she is just saying that Brent will take care of her. She knows that he won't or maybe she is wishing he would step up and act like a son.

    I was going thru some papers today and it dawned on me that I have not got a reply from Daddy's Dr. about his records. I guess I am going to have to let them know I will get them.

    Alan, Alexis, and I went out for chinese food and Alan and I have not felt well since we did. I have a very sore throat on top of that.

    I truly hope that they decide what they are going to do for your Mom. It is so very hard on you. You want them to do the right thing. It is all on your shoulders.

    I know it is hard but try to get some rest and take care of yourself.

    Please keep me posted.

    God bless; Pam

  11. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam how are you? I hope you are not sick. How is your weather over there? Are you getting rain? It should not take very long to get your dads medical records. Do you think he doesn't want you to have them?

    Well they didn't do the swallow eval. Do you know personally of anyone with the tube? I got a call from the on RN who I sorta like as they are moving her IV to another foot. I said "I don't know why they say I have a choice then I give it and its like I don't"

    She replies "u always have a choice" I go they aren't treating me like I do. I told the dr, the nutritionist on tues, the nurse on wed, argued with another rn Thurs why we want it and told another rn so what is the problem?

    On one had it is good my mom is getting off lots of meds now BUT that isn't good just to stop her ativan, trazadone and all the others. She should be winged.

    Well I better stop I am so mad plus being on my period doesn't help.

    Do you have any plans for the weekend or are you still not feeling good? Have you heard from Bud?

    Also wanted to tell you at the NH a lady who works there told me that I can bring in my moms credit card bills and they will write a letter to have the balance waived. She said the comp will write off the balance-they do it all the time.

    Maybe your dad cards balances can be waived.

    Take care,
  12. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I don't know if the Dr. doesn't want me to have the records or they are trying to get them copied or what it is. I admit I want to see if they missed anything or there where a couple of times Daddy went by himself and if there was something he neglected to tell us. I still want to know why they missed both of my parents cancer. I think I will give them until next week and write one more time. If that doesn't work I may go ahead and get an lawyer.

    I had a friend that had a feeding tube. I talked to her on the phone many times but she would not let anyone but her immediate family see her. She also had cancer of the throat. She never smoked a cigaratte. She said that it was hard and it really bothered her youngest son. She missed eating the normal way. My grandfather had on (Daddy's father). The Dr. told Daddy that it was not permanent but it ended up being that way.

    We where told with Daddy that we did not have to agree to any thing. That we had a right to decide on his care. If they gave you the choice of tube or pureed food than they have to adbide by that. They may try to swing you the other way but you do not have to.

    You want to try the puree so your mom will still be taking something by mouth, so they have to abdide by that.

    I do not understand them taking her off of the pills all at once either. They always tell a person not to do that themselves. Does she seem to be in much pain? Are they giving her anything by IV?

    It sounds like medical people are the same no matter where you are.

    I still feel awful. My throat is so sore and I am congested. I did go and get some mediecene and Vicks to rub on my chest.

    I truly hope that things start going better for you and your poor Mom. I am here if you need to talk.

    Gob bless; Pam
  13. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, I'm sorry your sick. You've been through a lot so its probably from stress. Hope you feel better soon. Will Bill be home soon? I hope so. Have you heard from Bud?

    Well major drama again. The dr ordered a stat swallow test. Then the hospital said we can't do it till tues. I am like can't they give her any food? They are like no. Everyone giving me a hard time. One RN goes "they called a code blue on her before" and I don't even know this rn.

    Anyway I had the social worker call the D O N and then all this drama cause I said we made the choice and you won't do it. Long story in the end (after an hour) they call the dr and my mom had puree tonight. I went back to watch her eat as the dr said for the RN to tell me "she could choke and die" and if I new that its ok with him. I do like the doctor.

    She did good with the puree! I was so scared. I felt the aid feed her too fast and big amount and I told the RN. I liked the aid and rn though. So I feel better and my mom was like "I want meat, I want potato"

    I swear tonight I will have some relief for the 1st time. I have been agonizing over all of this. We go the the hospital on Tues for a barium swallow.

    Well I hope you feel better soon. Are you having bad weather?

    Take care,
  14. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I am sorry for all of the drama. I am glad that your Mom did get to at least eat some puree food. I am also glad that you like the nurse, aid, and Dr. It sounds like he was honest with you.

    They don't get in a hurry about completeing tests do they. How would they like it if they had to wait until Tues. for a test to see if they can eat or not. You said that one nurse said they called code blue. Does that mean that her heart stopped?

    Hospitals are like that all over the country. Here was my Daddy way to skinny, they kept saying he has to eat, get him anything he wants to eat. It seemed like a couple times of the week they where running a test that he could not eat or drink after midnight. The next day the test would be schduled for 11 than they would chnage it to 12 or 1. For my Daddy to want to eat he was starved or would get very thristy. One time they said that he was dehydrated but he could have nothing to drink.

    I hope things start going better. I am glad that you stood firm and made them ge on it. As Bill told me they are Drs. and they have to listen to you.

    I hope you did get dome relief last night and could rest.

    I talked to Bud last night. We went to bed a little after 9 and he called. He seems to be doing ok. He is coming out tomorrow along with Alan and his family. We are going to watch Summer Slam. It is a big wrestling show.

    Take care and keep me informed.

    God bless; Pam
  15. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Hope everything is ok.
  16. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, how are you? I came here earlier but my keyboard was stuck again. Did you have a nice time with everyone over?

    Went to see my mom yesterday. She ate pretty good. I didn't get to go see her today as I was to tired. I really wanted to go though but I just couldn't. The Rn today said she was a sleep at dinner time.
    They saved her dinner.

    Code blue means death or near death is about to occur. After reading and talking to my mom I took her off CPR. Its so violent to do that (they didn't do it to her) it would crush her. I read to a pamplet from a chaplain and he said the same thing about CPR in the pamplet.

    So when is Bill coming home? Where does he go next?
    Chloe called me who used to help me here at the house. Shes gonna start coming again. Thats good.

    I'm gonna go back to bed I been there most of the day.

  17. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    You are right to take your Mom off of the CPR. That is one thing that has bugged me about my Momma. She had no living will or such. They did CPR on her and used the paddles, she came back for right at an hour and still passed away. It has haunted me that they did all that to her. That is why when they asked me about Daddy and said that there was a good chance that it wouldn't last I said no.

    I am glad that Chloe is going to start helping you out again. I bet that is a relief.

    Bill just left. I am not sure when he will be home. I have an overnight guest. They got ready to leave and Alexis asked her Daddy if she could stay just one night. He said it is up to your Nana. They gives me the big blue eyes. I said Nana has alot to do tomorrow. She answer was I will stay out of your way and watch a movie. She also said I will help you.

    I am glad that it seems that your Mom is eating ok. I know that is a relief to you.

    Take care of yourself and get some much deserved rest. You guys are still in my prayers and thoughts.

    God bless; Pam
  18. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, how are you? ThaT so sweet of Alexis to offer to help. I'm glad for both of you. Did you see the medical team do the CPR to your mom? Its supposed to be kinda violent and they said it would break my moms ribs. She has severe ostioperosis.

    I'm not doing to good. My back is hurting too. I couldnt get to my moms. I really want to be there and I am supposed to be at the hospital at 10 tomorrow for her barium swallow test and I'm scared I can't. I don't think I've missed more then 2 days before.

    I feel that barium swallow test is stupid as they did it the end of July and she did good. So when she choked later the therapist says "well the barium swallow test was just one day" so you can't really go by the barium swallow.

    Yea my mom had to go 8 days with no food poor thing. It would have been more. Today she said she didn't like the puree today. I hope we can move to ground food.

    My moms voice sounds good no gurgeling and no coughing. It makes me so mad they didn't do anything and shes been like that for months. I didn't know what aspiration was or I would have insisted they set her up when eating.

    Well let me know how your all doing.

    Take care,
  19. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    No I did not see them do the CPR on Momma. I was at the hospital by myself in the waiting room and them came out and told me there was a problem and took me into a quiet room and suggested I call the family. They sent in a chaplain and a little while later her Dr. came in and said that they called code blue and did CPR and used the paddles and brought her back. The family made it up there and a little while later they came out and told us she was gone.

    I know CPR is very hard on the person. I had to be CPR trained when I was assitant director at a Day Care. They told us that it was near impossible to do it and not break a rib.

    The thught of Momma going thru that and not making it has haunted me. She was a tiny little thing any way.

    I don't blame you being upset about them feeding her laying down. They should have know better tho. I hope her test goes ok and she can start taking some ground food.

    I hope that you get to doing better. You have to take care of yourself too.

    We are doing ok. Alexis said she wanted her Daddy today so I called him. He was going to finish cleaning his shed and he talked to her and asked her if she missed him and he said "yes". He told me I will be right there.

    Take care of yourself and get some deserved rest. Let me know how things are.

    God bless; Pam
  20. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam how are you? Is Alexis still staying with you? Thats so scary when they call code blue. I'm so lucky my mom didn't die. I don't know why over and over again she lives.

    I haven't seen her since Sat or anyone else except a boy came a cleaned for me. I met him weeks ago when I saw a table by the garbage can that I new Leslie could use and asked him if he would put it in the car. He did a good job.

    My mom had her test and my mom said she did good. I called tonight and the Rn, who I like, but she always talks double talk so in the end I don't know how the test went.

    The therapist again recommends a feeding tube but that doesn't mean the test went bad. My mom is doing just fine on puree.
    I new she would but I bet when I see the test results it will say she did good. The number one cause of death is feeding tubes from aspiration.

    I don't know if I can make it tomorrow or not. I'm gonna sit at the table to see if I can lift my leg as if I'm driving. I'm not hurting as bad but pretty bad.

    Sorry for going on.
    Take care,