Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by doxygirl, Nov 9, 2007.

  1. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    First I get a new job and now I do not have a job again!!!!!!

    Iam having the worst panic attack!

    A few weeks ago one of my good friends called me and asked me to help him open the restaurant he was now general manager of....

    he placed me into the postion of bar manager.......I used to be the director of a bartending school so I felt confident I could handle the job.... health has been really really bad this last year......but since our finances are in dire straits I decided to at least try to work until after Christmas.....

    I went to two weeks of off and on training......

    I noticed that my so called friend was treating me very bad......if Iam to be the manager I needed answers to a lot of questions....every single time I went to ask him something he told me "not now Iam busy"....then he would tell me he told me to do something and wanted to know why it wasn't done...when he never told me to do it in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!

    Then he kept telling the entire crew to show up for meetings and training sessions and we would get there and he would want to know why we were there?

    He was doing this to ALL of the employee's and I guess someone finally called the owner and told them what was going on..........

    it ends up my so called friend walked out!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The owner is assigning the position of manager to another person that is better qualified to run the restaurant.....which is great but......

    one of the people who was to work under me.....was not well liked and all of the bartenders I was in charge of asked me to try to get rid of this person telling me he was sneaky, lies, and steals tips from all the others and trys to "manhandle" them.....

    so I went to my friend before he walked out and he told this person that everyone complained about him and if he got one more complaint he would fire him....

    now the person who is taking over manager.....likes this "bad" he will obviously get what ever shifts he wants and will get away once again with mistreating others.....also he complained about me to the owner since he got called on his bad behavior ......

    so now the owner thinks "I am not good for the bar manager position!!!!!!!!

    Well....I do not know if I have lost all of you at this point in my story or not......I really did not want this job in the first place...but we need for me to work BADLY right now to get our finaces back in order........

    so I have pretty much made my mind up to just quit....I do NOT need the stress of playing games with "bad" people like this guy is....and feel that if I stay it will only be ugly for me.......

    why is it in workplaces that the people that cause trouble....and Iam talking go around looking for things to cause trouble........always seem to come out on top and keep their jobs???

    Iam a good person and when I work I work hard....I give every job I have ever had my all.......

    a part of me is crushed that I have to be the one to give up my position.....although no one has told me I do not have a job.....I just don't want to get caught up in the drama.....

    all of the rest of the bartenders that I would have had working for not want me to leave......they have asked me to PLEASE stay and have even told me "we all love you"!!!!!!!!!! which makes me feel so good.....but I just do not think it is worth it?

    Iam so upset......we need money ....we need that second income.......

    Thanks for listening
  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    stay there if that is an option.

    you could let them lay you off from work...or you could quit then file for unemployment and say your reason was due to the fact of the environment was ....I am trying to remember what i used years ago...thinking.....

    harmful to your health...i had a dr. write a note telling me to quit my job because it was causing me too much stress.

    or just go off on sdi.

    hope this helps some..

  3. Khalyal

    Khalyal New Member

    is an energy vampire. I don't know about you, but I don't have energy to spare, so I try to minimize the drama in my life. (Hard to do, because I have a family FULL of drama queens! lol)

    The best I can do is to mentally separate myself from the drama. I try to make myself an island of serenity. Sometimes I fail miserably, but a lot of times it works.

    If you can remove yourself psychologically from the drama and let it flow around you rather than through you, you may be able to keep the job. If you can't, then this job may end up putting you in a worse health situation than you are already in.

    I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. You sure don't need the extra aggravation.

  4. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    My friend is not coming back as manager so that is good...I really do not know what was going on with him...but things in that respect are better...because the people that took over his position are able to handle most things very well.

    AND....I did step down from my position....I honestly felt that ten dollars an hour was not enough to deal with all the responsibilities I would have had.....and there was so much for me to learn which would have been fine except all of the bartenders hired worked in this restaurant prior to this opening of it so it is like they know it inside and out and I am in a place where I have to learn it....

    anyway I explained to the owner why I gave up my position I basically told her that it was the right thing to do IMO.....this woman is a multi millionaire and she is very well respected.....

    she actually came up to me and hugged me and told me she will not forget what I did and that she could not believe I have the morals I have....this meant so much to me!

    BUT....there is still one huge problem and that is the jealous little trouble maker that went crying because he could not stand me a "woman" was going to be in charge of him....he went to the owner ( who is the woman who hugged me and said she will not forget what I did )......he whined to her about me not having enough experience even though I was the director of a bartending school!

    anyhow it is so ugly at work because of him......he tried to walk around and act like everyone likes him ....when no one does....we even had a meeting and there was not one person who likes him there....every single person wants him gone....he steals......he is obnixious and act like he knows everything.......

    we all made it clear to the bosses that we do not want to work with him at all.....and they told us they would take care of it......but when we all showed up for work today.....we were all there on time......and he was late.....he is always late and leaves early........

    I was so upset when I left work tonight because I now know that for whatever reason the bosses are not going to get rid of him.....

    I cannot understand this....he has been caught stealing....he is always late......he is rude and on and one....and they keep him???????

    Can anyone here please explain to me why? why do I have to work with someone like this?

    I guess Iam going to have to be the one to leave....because I cannot pretend I like him.....I cannot get along with someone I have no respect for......he literally makes me sick to my stomach.....just seeing his face or hearing his voice makes my skin crawl!!!!!!!!

    I am mad and frustrated that it always ends up being me who leaves when it is clearly the evil person that keeps there job??????????

    PLEASE help me to understand this because I just cannot!

  5. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    it takes a lot of thorough investigation on the managers and owners part to rightfully fire this person....they have to protect thier butt's so they do not get sued for an unlawful firing of someone...

    just believe that the owners are doing what they can to fire him...step by step....that is the smart way to do it as an owner of a business or any business for that matter,

    there are state laws to protect employee's...i was wrongfully discharged from a niave dentist...and she niavely left the message on my answering machine while i was in getting looked at for my neck, back shoulder,,,fibro etc...

    well i won 10K for that plus my worker's compensation....if she was smart she would've let the process go in place becasue i filed for sdi and ssdi...and here i am today...sadly but it is what it is.

    so please do not quit...if you need the money,,just do your own job and what he is getting complaints of are getting noted....if not on camera for that matter.

    but if you decide you can not take it emotionally go off on w/comp and file for sdi in the mean file for your ssdi....

  6. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    They are probably keeping him because he has something on them. That is usually the case. Also, they lied to you, saying they would get rid of him and didn't. So many red flags.

    There must be many jobs you could get at the wage they are paying and deal with people who have more integrity.
  7. Doober

    Doober New Member

    to force their hand to fire this person it seems.

    If everyone were to go to the bosses and threaten to walk out. Is it worth it to replace several people over 1 person? How about a letter typed up and signed by all?

    Dear Bosses,

    As faithful employees of _________ ,We have found that the working conditions as a result of ___________ actions are unsatisfactory. As employees of ___________, it is our job to provide great customer service and to work in the best interest of ___________. This person is causing moral issues that can and will affect the employees attitude. This may affect the bottom line of this business, therefore reducing the incoming profits and possibly repeat business from customers.


    Everyone sign this so that there is a solidarity an union among the employess.

    I think that know that costomers and profits can be affected, actions will be taken.
  8. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    for could not take working in a hostile worked for me...when i was working for an embezzling dentist and his wife...

    my neighbor had a mother who worked for the unemployment office california here...

    so if push comes to shove for you....go for it...also a dr. note is terrific to back you up and send to unemployment...that the hostile work environment is too much for you to continue working there and advise her to get out of there.

  9. harmony21

    harmony21 New Member

    we missed you!!!! this is why we cant work getting all caught up with the dramas of the work place just isnt for us anymore

    You take care darlin and if god wants you to work you will find something kind.....

    angel hugs and blessings

    ps cant make long posts too tired at the moment, sorry

  10. jewels920

    jewels920 New Member

    I realize this reply is kinda late...

    I agree with Khaly with regard to drama being an energy sap.

    In addition, isn't bar work an "on your feet" all day/night kind of job? Sweetie--how can you do that?

    I understand financial stress. Before I got the incredibly freakin stressful job I'm doing now, I slept on the floor in a tiny, cheap a$$ duplex...

    Maybe we can all brainstorm some ideas for jobs you can do without standing all the time. What do you think?

    This is just me, but I read tarot on the side to make a little extra money. Not a full time gig but I need to do something in addition to what I'm being poorly paid to do full time..