Parents of young children

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kylesmom, Dec 11, 2005.

  1. kylesmom

    kylesmom New Member

    How do you cope with your kids when you're having an exacerbation/flare? I feel so bad for my kiddos. I have no patience with them, and I'm certainly not doing anything fun with them right now. This is the worst episode I've had this year, and I'm finding myself feeling much worse for my children than for myself. Any tips?

    (My kids are 15, 4, and 19 months.)
  2. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    It is hard! When I'm really bad off, I often get a good movie (maybe on in our collection) and we all lay on the floor in front of the tv and watch it. A 19 month old likes you on the floor (fun to sit on!), the 4 year old may like it too (my 7 year old feels I'm "there" with him) and a little snack. Does your 15 year old do any activities after school (soccer or the like)? Make homemade play dooh, the young one will have plenty of fun, and you can be on the floor for that too. Legos, lots of legos, build your own projects so they learn to do the same. Maybe movie time before naptime can become a routine? Kids are routine creatures, and you will have a few hours a day covered that way. I have the same battles, but maybe a couple of ideas may help?
  3. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I have a 14 year old and a ten year old. Its a little easier now that they are older but was extremely difficult when they were little. The important thing to remember is your there with them all the time. A lot of mothers aren`t.

    Even healthy parents get crabby with their kids so don`t beat yourself up over that. Honesty was always my policy. I would say," I`m sorry I`m crabby or not up to doing things right now but I`m not feeling well." I would ask them for ideas of things we could do. We used to love to lay in bed and read books or play cards or a board game. Movies and popcorn was always good. Ask them to do a play for you. Kids love that. Give them some old clothes to dress up, they`ll have a ball.

    We always just made the best of it because it is what is. My sons still have that make the best of any situation attitude. They are very happy, well adjusted kids and I am sure yours are too.
  4. whoachief

    whoachief New Member

    It is very difficult some days. I have a 6 year old, a 5 year old, a 3 year old & a 2 year old PLUS my older kids are 15, 20 & 23. My 15 year old is home-schooled simply because there are days I need her help at home. My 6 & 5 year olds go to kindergarten two days one week & three days the next (9:15 - 3:15). I ALWAYS lay down & take a nap myself when the kids take a nap. On the days the kindergarteners don't have school I make them lay down & "rest" for an hour or so in the afternoon. They used to argue about it but now they know they're going to whether they like it or not so they don't any more. They usually just watch tv or look at books.
  5. EgyptStarr

    EgyptStarr New Member

    for starting this thread! I got some very helpful tips from the ladies here who responded, so THANK YOU to you ladies, too!

    I only have one 3-yr-old at home, but she is VERY MUCH a handful.... going through an extremely rebellious phase.... seeing just how many of Mom's buttons she can push before Mom's head explodes! lol (Look at the pic on my profile and you'll see the RED HAIR and the GLEAM in her eye! The one that says, "Yeah, my finger may be little, but I still got my Mommy wrapped around it!")

    But some of the tips here mentioned above, I think, are going to be VERY helpful! Maybe, on my weak days, I can't win, but if I try a few of these tricks, I can at least level the playing field!

    Thanks again!

    Hugs!
    Starr
  6. Zzzsharn

    Zzzsharn New Member

    I often feel guilty about what I can't do with my girls, ages 5 and 9.

    When I had a horrid flare last summer we decided that my oldest daughter should be with her Dad, who just remarried and has 2 step children close in age. It was THE toughest decision of my life, but my daughter has thrived in his household.. Straight A's- sports, music...I can't put in words how hard that decision was.

    I carve out special time with just her, and our relationship is better than it has ever been. She knows I'm sick, and her watching me get worse was eating away at her.

    When she is with me and I'm not feeling well, the three of us girls will kick daddy out, make a nest on my bed, pop popcorn and watch movies.

    My 5 yr old is the most sensitive and caring child I've ever met..She doesn't remember ever having a healthy Mom, so I am normal to her.. sad, but true.

    I may not be able to run and ride bikes, but I know I am raising loving, compassionate, thoughtful girls..I try and concentrate on the good things we can do together and not get to depressed over what "we" are all missing.

    Coping is hard...this dd takes away so much of our lives, it robs our spouses of normalcy, our children of carefree times.. not to mention what it does to the actual sufferers- and the extended families that have to watch us suffer..

    Kylesmom, your kids will be fine, every parent loses patience-healthy or not- and every parent questions themselves.. try not to dwell on the negative and appreciate the time you can enjoy them, and they will learn when you are not capable of doing "extra" fun things.

    Be well,
    Sharon
  7. kylesmom

    kylesmom New Member

    Starr, three is the Devil's Age. Kyle nearly didn't live through it! :D And Sharon, I can't imagine what you had to give up for this disease. I'm sorry, but I'm glad it has worked well for her.

    I agree, it's best to be honest with the kids, but sadly, Kyle has started saying "I'm too tired" when he doesn't want to do something. I know where he's heard that one.
  8. EgyptStarr

    EgyptStarr New Member

    I know what you mean when you said that Kyle started saying he's too tired to do something.

    I hear my little one say, "I'm sick", or "I don't feel good", when she wants to avoid doing something I told her to do (like clean her room), even though right before I told her to do it, she was running around, laughing, and acting like she was on top of the world!

    It bugs me when I hear her say that, because I'm afraid I may be creating a monster, simply because I'M sick! When she wants me to do something and I don't feel well, I tell her so, and she sees me "getting out of having to do it". So she's learning from that that if SHE doesn't want to do a certain thing, she can try to "get out of it" by saying she's sick.

    What's a parent to do in that situation?


    Hugs!
    Starr