People knowing you're on SSI/SSDi

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lin21, Jun 6, 2006.

  1. lin21

    lin21 New Member

    HOw do you handle this situation when people have the nerve to ask this question? I worked all my life , I was 42 when I was diagnosed and have been on SSI a year and that's all people do is talk.
    People stink (for lack of a better word).
  2. hopeful4

    hopeful4 New Member

    People can be so utterly stupid. It's really none of their business. If they are so rude to ask, you can just tell them it's a private matter and you do not care to discuss it.

    Unfortunately with this illness, and I'm sure with many others, we are exposed to hurtful, invasive, and callous people who cause us hurt and pain. It's not in our power to change them. It is in our power how we respond, although sometimes we feel so weak or worn down that it is difficult to keep our dignity.

    I find that it helps to practice self-protection. For example, before going out, I may visualize myself enclosed in an egg of white light, and allowing only good to penetrate.

    Another one that helps me is to visualize a huge magnet inside myself which I see drawing all of my own energy to and centering me; at the same time I visualize myself surrounded completely by mirrors facing outward, and deflecting any harmful energy that may come to me from the outside. It helps.

    Take care.
  3. lin21

    lin21 New Member

    is that usually when a rude person asks such a personal question I am so thrown for a loop that my fibro fog doesn't allow a quick response. I just have to come up with a standard one liner to shut them up!!! People amaze me.
    I would like to see these same people make it through what I did in the last 4 years and see how they come out!!!
    Thanks, I'll take your advice.
  4. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I really try not to tell people, but my husband slipped to a friend

    I too worked a very stressful job for over 20 years of my life.

    My family doesnt even know I am on SSI

    I don't want to be on it, but I have no choice
  5. justlooking

    justlooking New Member

    My lawyer gave me the best advice after I won my case.... DO NOT TELL ANYONE. He said that people have a way of resenting it or using it against you. He said people only get investigated for fraud by being reported by other people and in most cases it is in retalition or resentment, not because there is actual fraud.

    As a result of his advice I have only told my closest family members. I never even tell other people I am sick..I just don't see how its their business or how it helps me for others to know.

    People do stink at times and can be petty and conniving..not to mention nosey!

    Please be careful with telling people about your situation.

  6. sisland

    sisland New Member

    Wow i think we all would be rich if we had a choice !................the reason i say that is because so many of us have been in the work feild most of our lives.........................................And still would be if possible!..................why would we feel bad about not being able to work if we really had no intentions of doing it? ..........................................just my 2cents.
  7. Marjidoll

    Marjidoll New Member

    That they wish they could stay home all the time and collect money.

    I tell them I envy their good health and ability to work and that I enjoyed working and miss it very much. Usually makes them think a bit.

    If they persist, I tell them that I worked for 30 years before illness took over.

    I like the advice not to tell anyone. I rarely do because I don't like dealing with their insensitve comments.
  8. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Your reply ....

    Look them straight in the eyes (with a stern expression) and say .. "why in the world would you ask me something like that??"

    Then say nothing. Just silence.

    That should make them feel like dirt! It should, but some people are so ignorant that they may not get the hint!!

    ......I like the answer "I'm living off my trust fund." LOL

    ... or say "I have a rich aunt who is supporting me!"

  9. 1975jet

    1975jet New Member

    It is not a hand out, you paid into it all those years-you deserve it!!! Let them walk in your shoes for 1 day and see what that does. People can be cruel- but God looks out for you...

    Enjoy life if you can- I'm trying.
  10. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    People can be so cruel. Usually they would put someone down to make themselves feel better.

  11. jenni4736

    jenni4736 New Member

    My favorite response to such rude questions is this...

    " I will forgive you for asking such a person question if you will for give me for not answering it!"

    My daughter has darker skin than my own and an adult woman in the mall (total stranger) made a point to come and ask me if my daughter was adopted! She asked me in front of my 5 year old (at that time) child!

    I responded with "yes...but she didn't know until you just announced it." Her eyes got big as saucers..."just kidding", I said.

    I then proceeded to say," I will forgive you for asking such a personal question, if you will forgive me for not answering it!"

    She walked away was priceless!

  12. 1975jet

    1975jet New Member

    lin21- my sister does not understand- why I'm not working now- well I see a doctor and therapist- I have worked for over 30 years and I cannot hold a job right now- I know it hurts but my therapist tells me my place right now is at home- that is what god has planned for me.. People don't understand so thank god for this sight..

    I have a very sick husband, who has been on the liver transplant list for over 2-1/2 years- he helps me with my diseases and I have helped him. Don't listen to your brother- he does not walk in your shoes- I have to tell myself that everyday and belief me it is hard but you have to belief in yourself and keep the faith.
  13. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    I am not on disability (yet) but that is the absolute BEST response I have ever heard!!!

    Why should we allow someone else to make us feel badly about our situations?

    Let's all make those RUDE people stop and think for a moment about their prejudices!! And hopefully embarrass them!
  14. jenni4736

    jenni4736 New Member

    It was one of those things that just popped out at the time...but well worth using again.

    I hope it works for you too. People can really be rude! I always try to answer in a direct, firm, yet semi- friendly way to a rude person. I don't tolerate it but I really try not to be rude back.

    Any one have another line?


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