Perfection Is Stressing Me Out Anyone Relate???

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by BlueSky555, Aug 6, 2006.

  1. BlueSky555

    BlueSky555 New Member

    Everything in my life is NOT perfect and hasn't been even close in a long, long time.

    The problem is that I used to be a so called "perfectionist" as far as keeping car clean, house organized, tea made, just everything kept up. Don't get me wrong, not as much perfection as organization.

    Now, I am still the same, except my health problems make it difficult but I STILL think everything MUST be organized/caught up. Even when I have to go grocery shopping or whatever, if I'm not home when I think I should be, I get all stressed out.

    I don't know why I haven't noticed this before now but I realize that it's stressing me really, really bad. I even ask myself, why? I am not working and have no reason to keep anything caught up but can't help it. It's like some kind of disease I have.

    Is anyone else like this and haven't realized it? Should I tell my psychologist? Also, no one in my family understands what builds up inside; after a while, I feel like my heart is beating so hard that it's going to jump out of my body.

  2. janieb

    janieb New Member

    All of my life I've been accused of perfectionism and couldn't accept that until recently.

    Fibro for 15 years, but while working I had a cleaning lady. After all these years I'm crazy if things aren't organized. A little dirt is ok as long as it doesn't show, but things must be organized.

    Major problem is that not one person cares. If they track dirt in or spill something, they just don't care. Almost to the point where I'm considering living alone. I can take care of myself and no one else seems interested in taking care of anything for me, so where does that leave me. I must be in the pity pot today.

    There are my girls and four nieces who would do anything for me, but they all have kids and lives of their own. It's mostly my husband I'm referring to.

    He does as he pleases and I'm expected to keep his life in order, be the unpaid maid, cook, etc.

    Tomorrow I'm back in the hospital for more tests on the pancreas. Really need that with everything else.

    If you can change, do it!!! We would all be happier if we could change. I'm happy to hear your husband and daughter try to help out.

    God bless,

    janie b
  3. Can I ever. I sometimes think thats what gave me fibro. As I have got older I don't worry as much. But when I was first married for yrs. I had the cleanest , neatest, organized house. Wish I had the energy I had back then to do it. Life goes so fast, its just not worth it stressing over a house. Like someone said, when you are on your dying bed, will you say well I had the cleanest house in town? I doubt it.
  4. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    I used to be very much that way - it's a way of controling the anxiety we have by trying to control our lives to the nth degree. I still feel more "comfortable" when things are organized but I no longer make myself crazy over it.

    Life is simply not control-able.


  5. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    i was the same way i now have to over look the way my son keeps his room and how my daughter took over the living room for all her toys.she figures since i cant sit out there she has the run of the tv.i cant clean my floors everyday or vaccum. i guess im not alone i was the cleanest person i knew. take care charlene
  6. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    that discuss perfectionism and workaholicism.

    My mother thought her mission in life was to clean up all the dirt. My father, on the other hand, thought his mission was to drink up all the booze.

    They were both lousy at parenting.

    Some people have suggested that this type of A personality may help trigger our DDs.

  7. glenda2

    glenda2 New Member

    yes you should tell the dr. mine gave me zoloft it help with depressin pain and OCD (obsession cumplsive disorder)
    i am not on zolft anymore i am now trying efferor the only reason i went off was the sexual side effect. but effexor makes me nausuas SP> i have had many kinds in between but i like the zoloft better i may ask to go back. however now that i am not on it i have to have my house in order but do not mind the dust. if the towel is handing crooked i can't stand it
  8. IEMom

    IEMom New Member

    I ditto everyone's post. I'm so stressed out and want everything perfect. I work, have two small kids, and it is almost impossible for everything to be perfect.

    I really, really want to let this go. I have this easy going husband who doesn't even expect perfection from me.

  9. kriket

    kriket New Member

    I hate it. It drives me crazy. I am doing better. I would tell my psychologist, cause he can probably help you learn how to deal with it.

  10. BlueSky555

    BlueSky555 New Member

    I just wanted to send a note of thanks to all of you that responded and even if you didn't cause you probably haven't seen it.

    I just finished reading all of the responses and feel better knowing that I'm not alone here. Like someone else stated, it's not that my house is "dust free" but organized.

    I am going to tell my psychologist so that she will know that I DO get very stressed but think most of it, not all, is caused by me and only me because like someone else said, I get all upset if a towel is not hanging straight.

    I think I'm the only one in my family with this wonderful/stressful/wish I didn't have, talent, lol!

    Thank you all,

  11. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    what marta628 said about it as a way of controlling anxiety is right.With cfids we do not have enough of the chemicals,seritonin and epineferin(sp)that other people have to cope with their anxiety.Could it be the result of our illness instead of the cause?Linda
    [This Message was Edited on 08/10/2006]
  12. artseyone

    artseyone New Member

    Fear of failure is linked w/perfectionism and this keeps me from working in my studio just about everyday..
    I have to really do some positive self talk to overcome it..
    I think our need to be "perfect" may have gotten us where we are now...High achievers and fms.
  13. lisabk

    lisabk New Member

    I'm very much a "my way or the highway" kinda gal. I have standards, and I think they're too high.

    I expend way too much energy worry about this or that, rather than enjoying my family and doing what I can to alleviate stress. I don't know about you guys, but stress seems to make everything much worse, and then the worse I feel the more stressed out I get, and... I'm sure you can see where this is going...

    Good luck!

    [This Message was Edited on 08/10/2006]

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