Perspectives that 'get you by'?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Lazy_Susan, Sep 24, 2008.

  1. Lazy_Susan

    Lazy_Susan New Member

    I try to get by by reminding myself that I may have fibro but there are other people who only *wish* they had fibro than what they *do* have-something disfiguring and/or terminal. It doesn't lesson my fibro pain and inconvenience but it reminds me I still have the luxury of *some* abilities they *don't*. Just a little different perspective. What's your's?
  2. vannafeelbettr

    vannafeelbettr New Member

    I believe we are here on Earth to grow spiritually, and situations are put on us for the soul purpose of spiritual growth.

    I've heard the saying, "God wouldn't give you what He didn't think you could handle." I'd like to say i believe in that quote, but I don't. If that's the case, why are there alcoholics, drug addicts, mental-breakdowns and suicides?

    I try my best to learn things enabling spiritual growth which I may not have learned in a FM-free body. That is my perspective.

    Great post.
  3. ABLUV

    ABLUV New Member

    I keep Christ at the center of my life whether pain is mild
    or severe. During severe fatigue and complete shutdowns I focus on what I can do instead of being angry/depressed about what I cannot do. I pray often for the Lord to help me to enjoy the journey; enjoy the moment I am in. Appreciate a nap, even if it's mandatory. Enjoy eating leftovers when I am too tired to cook. Applaud my own effort to clean a small corner, even though the entire house actually needs major spring cleaning. The Bible says
    "in everything give thanks for this is the will of God" this outlook helps to make CFIDS/Fibro easier for me to bear.
  4. Lazy_Susan

    Lazy_Susan New Member

    Quoting vannafeelbettr***I've heard the saying, "God wouldn't give you what He didn't think you could handle." I'd like to say i believe in that quote, but I don't. If that's the case, why are there alcoholics, drug addicts, mental-breakdowns and suicides?***

    I've actually thought about that many times over my lifetime and this is the conclusion I've come to:

    We can't possibly imagine what awaits us or what our true mission here on earth is--not til we 'graduate'. I'm a firm believer in everything we go through and how we handle it relates to what our life will be 'on the other side'. Maybe one person's job will need the experience of a priest, teacher, pastor, or writer while someone else's job will need the experience of an alcoholic, homeless person or drug addict. "What did it teach them?", sort of thing. It's another perspective which allows me to keep from falling apart over the eventual plight of some people I pass on the streets.

    Thank you for your responses. I have a feeling I'll learn a thing or two before it's over.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/24/2008]
  5. CanBrit

    CanBrit Member

    My perspective is pretty simple. At least I'm breathing. No matter what I have, there's always someone who's in a worse state with much more to handle.

    I have a great husband, kids, grandkids, extended family. Live in home and area I love.

    I guess I've always been a "glass half full person". It helps a lot.

    Great question.

  6. vannafeelbettr

    vannafeelbettr New Member

    You made a very good point regarding my quote. It is true that many lessons can be learned... as far as drugs and alcohol are concerned. But what of suicides?

    When I mentioned "God wouldn't give you what He didn't think you could handle." , what happens to those who cannot handle what is given to them and feel no choice but to kill themselves? A wonderful, dear friend of mine, died by her own hand last year at the age of 47. She claimed in a note that "life had just gotten too hard and she couldn't take it anymore." True, she had many hardships (as we all get our share) but apparantly the amount or types of hardships given to her were too much for her to handle.

    I am a firm believer in God, and I have been truly blessed with strength. I realize I am fortunate person, as that I do not live in 3rd world countries or even 100 years ago when there were no meds/supplements/or even messageboards to help me with my disease. I pray for all with this disease and every other dibilatating disease to try and find the wisdom within to feed spiritual growth, so the "theme" the are dealing with in this lifetime need not be repeated in the next.

    God Bless and Good Health!!!
  7. SkeptikSharon

    SkeptikSharon New Member

    That they did have something terminal? Or at least something that would be taken more seriously? For example, if we had cancer, yeah, maybe we might die, but at least the docs and others would take us more seriously than they do with FM or CFS. At least something would show up on tests. I'm the "glass is half empty" type on my bad days, but a "glass is half full" type on the good days. I don't know. It just frustrates me that doctors don't put more energy into testing and stuff for a condition like this. Less testing, less research, less treatment. I would almost rather have something that actually showed up on test results.

    Sorry, I'm in one of those "half-empty" moods. I hate being female sometimes, because my periods just totally flare me.
  8. Lazy_Susan

    Lazy_Susan New Member

    QUOTE********You made a very good point regarding my quote. It is true that many lessons can be learned... as far as drugs and alcohol are concerned. But what of suicides?*******END

    That's a lot tougher to get around. I can't even comprehend the desire to commit suicide. If they'd only realize, their troubles won't last forever--death will. But, I don't blame God for it because he gave us free will and has given us many ways to prevent such things as suicide. In so many cases--if not all--a person has to be mentally ill--if only temporarily--to do such a thing so I'm not sure how responsible they really are. How can you hold a sick person responsible for their illness? That, and that God is merciful, are my only solace.

    Good questions.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/25/2008]
  9. Lazy_Susan

    Lazy_Susan New Member

    Wow, I can't believe you asked that. Yes, I have, when I'm at my sickest I sometimes don't think rationally and think, "If only....they might take me seriously." Or, if I were bleeding to death or something. Yes! Wow. I've never actually admitted it before. Sad. I wonder how many of us think like that. Probably a lot more than I ever imagined. Thank you for bringing it up.
  10. SkeptikSharon

    SkeptikSharon New Member

    I keep thinking, that maybe if I was like on my death bed, I could go to the ER and actually be admitted to the hospital for full testing and stuff. Maybe I'd actually be taken seriously. I hate to say it, because I don't really want to die, but I would like some actual attention from doctors, more comprehensive testing of ALL systems, something, anything that would show that SOMETHING is wrong. I'm tired of this. Tired of going from doctor to doctor, paying out my copays, trying to get testing requested, having them look at me like I'm crazy. It would actually be cheaper to pay my hospital copay and have all testing done at once, rather than going to various specialists and having everything done piece by piece. I don't know. That's how I feel today, as today is one of those REALLY BAD days. I hate being female and having periods. It makes everything so much worse.
  11. wendysj

    wendysj New Member

    I remember before I was diagnosed... (Took years to get it right) they tested me for Lymphoma. My whole family was hoping that's what I had, especially me! They have a cure for that. I remember telling my mom when I was at my lowest that I couldn't live my whole life like this, I won't live my whole life like this. That scared us both.

    Thank God for counceling. I feel like a different person now. I think of my family and all my loved ones on bad days. I also think of the awesome things I've been able to see and do so far in this life. (My mom didn't leave the country until she was 50. I went to Costa Rica when I was 26.) There will be more oppurtunities to see and do more... I always have to remember that.

  12. lurkernomore

    lurkernomore New Member

    Wow, I think that at some point, and after sixteen years of dealing with Fibro, having Diabetes, recoccurring Shingles and Sjogren's added on, I have had all the feelings listed above.

    The wishing it were something terminal, as morbid as it reads, I believe to be the result of not being believed, validated or even properly treated. The isolation alone can play terrible tricks on the mind. And the pain, which nobody gets if they don't share the same DD, is just mind blowing.

    But the main thing that I keep telling myself, when I get into one of those glass-half-empty moods, is that at least it is me. And evidently, since I am still here, I can handle this. I do not know that I could handle it were it one of my sons or my husband. I know that may sound ridiculous, but it's just that simple in my mind. Or perhaps, my mind just works that simply. Better me than them. That is how I deal/cope with it. Not that I don't love myself, but my family is what gets me through every ache, every pain I feel. I couldn't bear the thought of a single one of them suffering this way. Did that make any sense at all?
  13. SkeptikSharon

    SkeptikSharon New Member

    You make an excellent point. It is better that it is me, and not my husband, parents, or siblings that are sick. I would not be able to handle that at all. My biggest fear is that something may happen to one of them, and even just thinking about that possibility is enough to cause tears. I would much rather it be me going through this than one of them. Of course, I also really wish there was an agreed upon cause, treatment and cure, but I guess we can't have everything. So yes, that totally made sense to me...=)
  14. theycallmeLois

    theycallmeLois New Member

    my mantra I guess you can say is what i've noticed other people saying. God will not give you anything you cannot handle. somedays i don't know how I am handling this. When a situation comes up I just make it through. break it down into easier things to handle.
  15. lurkernomore

    lurkernomore New Member

    Thanks so much SkeptikSharon. At times, I am certain that I must be losing what little bit is left of my mind. But the one thing that I am sure of is how precious my children (ha, children are actually in their 20's now) and husband are to me.

    And yes,I would love to believe that, at some point before I die, the words fibromyalgia and cfs will not only be recognized, but validated. Because I am just mischevious enough to want to be able to say "neener, neener, told ya so!" LOL!

    But if that never happens, at least I have the love and support of the family I mentioned. And they are what has gotten me through all the ignorance, lack of compassion and just plain judementalism (is that even a word? ;) that the rest of the world has thrown at me. They don't judge or question, they just love me, just as I am. And that's plenty good enough for me.
  16. landra

    landra New Member

    Just a note about suicides. Depression is a side-effect of our conditions; depression CHANGES our brain chemistry. I liken it to "getting stuck in a rut". When you get that depressed, you LITERALLY cannot think (believe) that things can get better. There is a physiological reason (state-dependant learning).

    What gets me by?
    *I think "good thing I LIKE to read - I spend enough time in bed!"
    *I get to see my nieces and nephews more than before - and I wanted to be an influence in their lives.
    *A 2yo and a 3yo live next door and come over - even though I hurt more moving around with them, I delight in watching them learn and grow.
    *I'm getting projects done that were just stacking up - I am off work due to CFS.

    In AA, the phrase "God never gives you more than you can handle", we often commented the our Higher Power either had a good sense of humor, or was very optimistic, or darn shure better show us how the heck to handle it!! And Usually someone in the same meeting would have ideas. the value of support systems, like this.

    Good thread!
  17. catlin

    catlin New Member

    I have been through this before and have survived it

    I WILL get better eventually

    I am not the only one

    I eat something good as a treat like key lime pie

    I watch or read something that absorbs my attention

    I take a hot shower

    I call a friend or family member who takes me as I am and say what I feel out lout

    Tomorrow will always be better if I can wait this out

    If I can just make one person smile today....(just want to be nice to one person)

    I know there are more, but that is it for now.

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