Phone Fight With Sister

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by NyroFan, Oct 5, 2006.

  1. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Hello all:

    Well, it was bound to happen. I call my sister in Florida on a regular basis. Last night I started to complain to her about my physical symptoms (which I very, very rarely do).

    Finally she said in a loud voice: Just get more exercise and you will be OK.

    I really went off on her and ended the conversation by hanging up.

    Now what do I do?

    nyrofan
  2. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    email her or send her information about these DD's Tell her how upsetting her comment was but you reacted the way you did out of frustration because if exercise would help you ,would have already been doing it.

    Sometimes people do not know how to handle our pain so they say things without thinking about how we will take it.
    Take this situation and use it to educate her on your illness .Love your sister life is short ,help her to understand ,instead of fighting about something neither of you have control of.
  3. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    You have been given some very good advice. I just wanted to add that I am sorry that it happened. I hope the issue is resolved and she will understand.
  4. dannybex

    dannybex Member

    ...saying something like "I'm sorry you don't understand the seriousness of my illness." (And you might briefly say sorry you lost your temper?) But then send her a link to the wikipedia site.

    You can go to wikipedia and find a great explanation about chronic fatigue syndrome -- I was surprised it was so updated with most of the latest research.

    That way, she can't accuse you of lecturing her, but she can read about CFS, and if she has to -- read about it a little at a time.

    I'll bet you'll get a call or email a week or so later, with a more positive outcome.

    Dan
  5. CrystalRose

    CrystalRose New Member

    Completely understand how you feel. My family is trying to understand but sometimes it is difficult. I hope you can make up with your sister. My advice would be to send her a letter and apologize for being so defensive and explain to her that this dd is hard for you to understand sometimes. Maybe ease into some short, easy to understand literature and even tell her about this website. Might help her to read about others like you. Life is too short to let things come between you and her. My sister died in a car accident 3 years ago and I still wish I had done more and said all the things I wanted her to know, especially how much I loved her. Don't let it go too long. Love does conquer all. Good luck and God bless.
  6. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    Nyro, go to my profile and read my post from sept 11 that says Eyes are swollen... My brother said something similar that just set me off. I guess we are just sick of hearing this stuff and we fly off the handle. I flipped out and then when I emailed him back to tell him why, he got defensive and didn't contact me back. When he saw me in person a week later he said I was too defensive in my explanation of trying to tell him why I was so upset. He said I didn't "need to tell him my whole history of being sick". So that hurt me even more. I let it go as I usually do.

    My heart goes out to you because I know how these comments hurt and even though our family and friends may be innocent and not know why we are so angry, they still should be more sensitive. Added to that when we try to explain why we are so sensitive they just shoo us off and placate us, making us feel paranoid.

    Just try to know that your sis probably didn't really mean you any harm or hurt, but you are justified in your anger. Don't try to over explain why, if you think she is a know it all who will ignore or analyze your explanation, as my family seems to be. I hope you work it out. I am sure she does love you and is trying to help, but just needs to learn to be more tactful with you.
  7. supergirl99

    supergirl99 New Member

    how much this can hurt. Just wanted to say, I hope you get it sorted in a way that you are happy and feel comfortable with.

    Chin up
    x
  8. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    I don't blame you for being upset. Like you said, it's not like you are constantly complaining about not feeling well to your sister. Maybe print out the "letter to normals" along with some FMS info to her?

    Ellen