Please Help... Need help sleeping!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by cczub, Dec 20, 2005.

  1. cczub

    cczub New Member

    Here's my backstory going back to friday..

    Hard a hard time falling asleep due to pain and finally got to sleep just after 2am... got spurts of sleep lasting 1 hour at max until 8am... Had a funeral on staruday and was physically and emotionally drained and in pain. Took some vicoden durring the day then 3mg of lunesta that night. Went to bed aournd 10pm and slept like a rock until 4:30 the back to sleep until 7... It was a great night. Had some more inital energy and slightly less pain except for the extremely stiff neck that developed on Saturday.

    Took no sleep meds Sunday night or Monday night and went to bed both nights around 10 and slept both nights till about 2am then back to sleep until 4:30ish

    Last night i took the 3mg does of lunesta, at 9pm and fell asleep like a rock at 10.. However I woke up at 1am and had trouble going back to sleep and slept losuy after that!!!! No I feel horrible today.. I just don't get it. I slept better without the meds the past 2 nights but was looking for some refreshing sleeep and got the opposite...

    I have no clue what to do anymore.....

    I don't go back to any doctors until the beginning of 2006 and not sure how many times I can see them next year since money is getting really tight! I want to take care of myself but I ave a wife and son that need to be taken care of too... I'm looking at having to take a part-time job soon depending on my raise and bonus(if I get a bonus this year).. How the hell am I going to be able to work 2 jobs at over 60 hours/week?? I'm already looking at seeling my new home and moving into a trailer if it comes down to it..... My wife wants a second child and I told her no way.. I'm having a hard enough time working my curent job, taking care of the house and TRYING to find the energy to do stuff with my son as it is... I told her last night, with the way I feel, and if this is truely FM, there's no way I want to have another child. Am I wrong for saying this??

    Sorry for the rant, I tried to stay on my topic but just got lost in the emotions I'm feeling....
  2. mje

    mje New Member

    Dr. Teitelbaum stresses the fact that getting your rest is
    one of the most important things you can do to live with FM. I can personally attest to that. The Dr. that diagnosed my FM proscribed Flexeril. After about 5-6 weeks, the severe back pain modified and I could at least live with it. That was in August 1985. I have been using the flexeril now for these 20 years. There are other meds
    to help you attain Stage 4 sleep. If you have not read
    any books by Dr. Teitelbaum...Check out your library...
    He is coming out with a new one, and the home page of this web-site is featuring excerpts from it. I have From Fatigued to Fantastic...your library may have it. Good Luck, And best regards to all who use this board. MJE
  3. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    For my good news about my sleep see the post Sleep Medication for Nite Time by Snowbird 55. I will bump it in a few minutes so that you will not have to look so hard for it.

    Lunesta did not work for me and for some others according to some of the post I have read. Per me and my family members who have taken Vicodan/Hydrocodone...It keeps us awake. I have never been able to take that particular pain medication after 3pm. With me & some others it seems to give an energy boost. That was a good thing in the am but I, like you had to have sleep. My pain medication was changed to Percocet and as my pain increased Oxycotin was added and those meds do not have the same effect for me.I do miss the energy it seemed to give me but it did not control the pain as well either.

    This disease caused me to lose my career of 32 years. I was a banker and it was a large part of my life. In fact it was nearly my life. My heart & soul went into my job. I worked for as long as I could. My memory was shot and I was so tired along with severe headaches, orthostatic hypotension and about 15 other symtoms but I didn't know what was wrong with me. I went on medical leave and was ever able to return. Finacially I need to work but as a precauction early in my career I had gotten LTD. I thought that if I wasn't able to work because of illness, I had taken care of myself. My insurance company was Unum and guess what, they have just informed me that my benefits would cease in June 2006 because they did not consider CFS/FM because they are "self reporting". In other words, I can't give them a test to prove it.

    Sorry I started talking about my problems, but there is no way to work those hours and get better. Whatever you do, please don't let you do to your body, what I did you mine.
    You MUST take care of it or it will make you. It put me down totatly because I just kept pushing & pushing and not telling anyone how bad things really were until it was too late. It is not my business of course, but another child at this point is not what you need. Your wife needs to understand how truly sick you are. I wish I had told my husband. My children are older and I thank God for that. I can not care for myself and I certainly could not take care of a child. It would be unfair for all involved.

    Sorry if I said too much but take care of yourself and have a Merry Christmas. I will but the other post now.
  4. cczub

    cczub New Member

    I will try the shake stor.. I've printed it out but haven't had time to get the stuff...

    1sweetie, i appreciate your comments. That's pretty much what I've told her. I feel bad.. I'm 27 and she's on 25 so she is young and wants another child. Our son is now six and she knew getting married last year I wa 20% at most looking at having another child. Like you put it, I have a hard enough time spending time with her and nim and to add another one would not be fair to all of us. Also the fact that it would cripple us finacially is another reason not to have another child. She looks at our finacial sitiuation as temperary, but I go into it, know where we were last year and knowing where we are at the end of this year and try to make her understand, the accounts are going down, not up! I'd be happy if they were stationary even!

    I know a second job would help right the ship but at what cost to me?? I work 8 hour days and go home and have to lay in bed almost every day after work.. I have the desire to do things but even most weekends Ii don't have toe energy or the pain is so bad I get going and have to stop after an hour......

    THis is just adding too much extra stress to my life right now. She told me yesterday that she's 1 week late) i'm hoping it's due to all the stress, we just had 3 deaths in the family over the past month) and I was flipping out. SHe's on the pill and I use condoms so I was like, HOW THE HELL CAN THAT BE?? Also, due to this DD I don't have any sex drive and if it's 4 times a month it's a good month...... I basically said, I don't want another child and she says she feels the same but when I asked her would you be dissaopinted if you weren't pregnat she said yeah......

    I can already see that we are heading down a rough road and things were bad already.... SHe understands what I'm going through but she doesn't make it any easier on me...
    This DD is putting such a strain on our relationship as I've seen it has done to others here but what do I do??

    Sorry for the rambling but it's a bad day today!!
  5. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    I find that I do it all the time when I post. It helps me and if nobody wants to read it that's OK. Just writing your feelings and concerns to someone that just might understand has been a life saver for me. I didn't start posting until a few weeks ago. I had read the board from time to time but did not participate. Emotionally I was hitting rock bottom at that time. I was at the point that I just didn't want to be around anymore if you know what I mean. My life that I knew is gone. I've tried so many things and spent so much money looking for something to give me back some part of my life that I had before. I was an independent women, managed a bank, active in my community and have regressed to a person that can't spell or remember. The cognitive part has been an major issue for me. I have been mostly housebound. When I am able or have to go out the fatigue is so bad that I can crash for days or weeks. I have been so disappointed in the people around me that are the people that are suppose to love me the most and what friends? My family tries but they are so use to a "different me" that they have had a hard time accepting this. I have always been a fighter but this dd has kicked my b***. But on the other hand, if this was not my body and my mind, I don't know if I could understand it either. I am much older than you. I am now 53 years old. Before this disease, I was proud of my body and looks. I had always looked 10 to 15 years younger that my real age. I dressed in nice clothes but they had sex appeal. In 24 months this dd took that away also. I know have to look for loose clothing that does not touch my body because they cause pain. For a few months, I could barely get a bath. Now I have succeeded with that I do not have the energy to hold a hair dryer to dry my hair and with the new heat wave I am experiencing I can't wear makeup. It just runs off my face. I know this has been hard for my husband although for the most part he had tried. And because he also has health issues there is an understanding about the lack of the sex. He is not in much better shape than I in that department, it is something that we miss so much. I can't imagine how difficult this is at your very young age. At your age I remember it was 4 times a day and we both thought that was great. I miss those days. You are in a tough situation. Does your wife not see your pain? Is she involved in the finance where she can see what is happening? These diseases cost so much money. She needs to understand that it could possibly disable you from work entirely especially if you continue to push yourself. Without sleep, with financial pressure, having 1 child to raise and working the amount of hours that you are you could be heading for a crash or flare that could be devastating. She needs to be educated about these dd's. I hope that she loves you and is compassionate enough that she will understand that these things are detrimental to your health. Hopefully she is a mature young women that understands her wedding vows and will do everything that she can to help eliminate stress. She does not need to be the cause. You need to find relief for your sleep. If you read my post that I referred you to you can see after 3 long years, I finally slept. It is wonderful although I believe the Lyrcia is giving me a pressure headache and I may not be able to raise the dose any higher, I AM SLEEPING. Nothing had worked before. Lunesta kept me awake all night. Well I am tired and I have rambled much more than I should have and have probably discussed things that I should not have discussed. I wish you well and hope that everything will come together for you but you MUST take care of yourself or you could lose everything and I don't want that happen to anyone else. I wish I had known what was happening tome so that I would not have pushed by body & brain into this.
  6. jaltair

    jaltair New Member

    Addressing the sleep problem:

    I'm wondering what other drugs you are taking or if the Vicodin is the only pain med and the lunesta is the only one used for sleep? Vicodin is a narcotic and you could have problems as narcotics are << NOT >> the best pain reliever for FMS.

    FMS pain most likely is due to the way people with FMS perceive pain. What other people may consider only mild discomfort, FMSers consider pain. It's the way our brain processes; i.e., serotonin, epinephrine, etc. Many researchers feel that the reason we perceive pain more acutely is because of the sleeping difficulty. Our pineal gland (in brain) produces melatonin which is a hormone. The melatonin when released helps us sleep. The production of melatonin by the pineal gland is caused by darkness and when it's light, it stops. People with FMS in some studies have shown a lower melatonin secretion during the hours of darkness than healthy people. This may contribute to impaired sleep at night, fatigue during the day, and changed pain perception (FMSers perceive pain differently).

    If you are not able to afford medical visits every three months, I would suggest finding a doctor that will work well with you if yours doesn’t, doing research on what the recommended meds are for FMS, taking that information to your doctor, and then let him know that you can’t afford frequent visits but would like to have medication to keep the FMS more under control. It sounds like you really don’t have control with the current meds or you would sleep better. Otherwise, with the wrong meds, you cycle too much and can’t live as normally as possible.

    Addressing the other needs of family:

    You didn’t say if your wife works. If she doesn’t, you both might consider the benefit of her working rather than you taking a second job. It’s hard enough to work one job, and you are considering 1 ½!

    Also, I would consider downsizing a bit. Perhaps a smaller home rather than a mobile home would work better.

    The main thing here is to get your finances into a manageable status. Reduce debt, etc.

    I hope I don’t sound too much like your mother, but … you could be my son! LOL

    Take care and warm wishes,


    I just re-read your post. You said another full-time job! No way! You need to have a "come to Jesus" talk with your wife regarding birth control and no children right now as well as the need for her to share in the burden right now![This Message was Edited on 12/21/2005]
  7. Musica

    Musica New Member

    you were exhausted from pain and not sleeping well Friday night then having the stress of the funeral on Saturday. So perhaps you slept well "despite yourself" the next two nights, even without the Lunesta. I have no idea what happened the night you took Lunesta, except possibly you were so much more rested than you normally are, your body wasn't used to it and so kept waking up. I'm afraid a lot of these things just don't have clear answers!

    I really don't blame you for feeling as you do about not having another child. A child IS a lot to handle, especially if you don't simply want to raise them, but to really be the parent you should be. Trying to keep a job can be challenge enough as it is, especially on days you don't even want to get out of bed.

    I hear your frustration, and of course the tiredness that comes from not sleeping well doesn't help ONE BIT!
  8. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member

    It's so nice to see a man expressing himself, and doing it so candidly. You are doing great working the hours you are working, many of us, me included can't work at all. I was around your age when I hit my wall and couldn't push myself to work anymore, mostly due to severe chemical sensitivity aggravating the FM pain and symptoms.

    Please don't push yourself harder. Maybe your wife can work, if your child is 6 she can at least manage part time and still be there for him/her.

    You need to explain to her how blessed you are to have one child. I'm 38 and engaged, and my fiance would love children and it breaks his heart that we can't because of my disability. He'd be so happy w/ just one. Maybe you can show her this to remind her of what she already has. For me, I know at my age plus my degree of disability that a kid would wipe me out and kill what little pain free quality of life I do have. You don't need added stress, plus more work, plus more expenses, plus and extra child to keep you up and run you ragged to wipe out the rest of your health. It can get much worse. If you can cut back, maybe there is a chance for you to improve and eventually you may be able to have another,health and finances permitting. You are both so young and have lots and lots of time.

  9. cczub

    cczub New Member

    My wife does work a full time job as a teacher at a nursery school. SHe is also taking classes to get her CDA.. I don't have a problem in therory with having another child, it's the fact I don't want to wind up on welfare to pay for it all. I've worked so hard the past few years to get where I am and I don't want to have it all destroyed. I am totally pro-life and that's why I have my son now. I made the right choice and grew up quick!I know that somehow I'd make thing swork finacially but the physical part is the one that gets me. I don't have the engery most days to do ANYTHING after work... I go home and lay down... I can't play with my son and it has ruined my intimate life with my wife....

    THe house probelm..... I already live in a small house. I'm from NJ and anyone on here that lives in NJ will tell you our housing market is TOTALLY INFLATED... I have a 2 1/2 bedroom Cape Cod and it's running me $1700 a month on my mortgage!!My small house just re-appraised for $280,000!!! I can't get a condo around here for under $190,000...

    I love my wife and my son. Me and my wife had a talk which turned into a big fight last night. SHe told me last night she's taken 5 test all negative but she called me today and said she was going to try to get over to the local clininc today for a real test... Her LONG TIME OB/GYN told her she could see her in Febuary and I lost my mind!!!! She needs a urine and blood test, not a 2 hour appointment!!

    Hopefully we can work things out and I'm really going to try. It came out last night that she understands what I'm going though but still feels like I'm not doing enough to make myself better because all I do is rest when I'm home... I tried to explain that it's not MY CHOICE and I can only do what my body allows. I'm already giving 120% at work and I just don't have much more to give. I don't want to burn myself out by the time I'm in my 30's and not be able to work anymore..

    Thanks for listening and happy holidays to all!

  10. cczub

    cczub New Member

    Funny you ask... I do alot of things, sort of a jack-of-all-trades... I do electriacal work(residential), drafting on AUTOCAD, build industrial control panels, instrumentation technician(for my company working in pharmacuticals and chemical plants), i'm the IT tech(fix computers, update software, sever maintence, network maintence and troubleshooting, email, website design updating), and an assistant engineer plus I have some PLC background.... As you can see I have alot of skills.. All of them I use for my current job..

    The thing is I make good money with my company and for the most part I'm treated well. I have a company vehicle, health insurance(it kinda sucks but it's alot better than nothing), SEP plan and make a good hourly rate.

    The problem is I never completed college and even though I have at least 6 years of experience with all the above skills, trying to get a job without that piece of paper is hard.
  11. cczub

    cczub New Member

    bumping to respond to my answers....
  12. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    tests coming in positive.I got pregnant on the birth control pill twice and I didn't miss any pills.It's 98% effective not 100%.

    I use to work for daycare and if your in it for a profession you love children.You also see a lot of babies everyday.

    That said.I agree with you about waiting.I just wanted to give you another viewpoint.I think that if you take on another job,the whole house of cards is going to fall.You'd end up like me,on disability.Good luck in finding what's right for you.Linda
  13. fibrofirend44

    fibrofirend44 New Member

    Hi...sorry to hear about you not being able to sleep. One of my doc's told me that sleep was very important for us fibro sufferers because if not it would increase stress and it then increases pain....

    anyhooo....I live in South FL....I had problems sleeping too...I cut down on drinking anything with caffeine...I only drink coffee in am and sometimes at 2 pm....and at night I turn on the radio to a wonderful radio station. The program is called NIght Sounds....The person that talks will surely put anyone to sleep. The music is mellow and relaxing....I sure hope you can find something like that in your comes on at around 10 pm eastern. The radio station is WCIF. It is a christian radio station. Maybe call your local radio station or look up on the internet....

    I hope this helps, or that you can find something similar to that. I fall asleep fast with the radio and now I sleep really good. I dont have to take any meds to sleep and for that too, I am very thankful to God.

    [This Message was Edited on 12/22/2005]
  14. cczub

    cczub New Member

    I took my wife to what was supposed to be a clinic. It turned out to be 2 ladies from a chirch that have been taught about precnacy and are basically couselers! She took thier OTC test which was negative too. Last night though we got the news that she isn't pregnant finally and it was only a little over a week late. We're pretty sure it was from all the stress with 2 of her family memebrs passing away, our son's b-day and the stress of the holidays... not to mention me being sick.

    Thank you all for all of the support. This board is a godsend and I don't know how I'd make it through this all without it. Everyone here is so kind and understanding!

    I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday... Finally I can put a checkmark on the possitive side for the first time in a long time!

    Happy Holidays!

  15. sdown

    sdown New Member

    Have you tried SAMe? Its available on this site and it helps calm the nerves. Good for pain too. Its something your body naturally produces but my doctor said when your chronically ill it doesnt produce enough. That's why we have pain, sleepless nights, etc.
  16. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    on NOT HAVING a baby!!!! I certainly hope you don't have to worry about this again. Contrary to another response, I don't feel that most women want more than one child. With the world in the condition it is today, I wonder if it is fair to bring another child into the world. Most parents don't have the opportunity to raise their own children. I do have 2 children but had only planned on 1. My first was born when I was young. My marriage dissolved and when I remarried my current husband wanted children(He said 9-A football team). I agreed to 1. There was 11 years difference in their ages. Basically, I have 2 "only" children. Of course, I love them dearly.

    How are you sleeping now? It is so important to us to get that rest so that I bodies can try to heal. If you continue to have problems, I use to find that Trazodone works well. It is an inexpensive drug and you should get Stage 4 sleep. It use to work for me. Now I have to take the combination that I have told you about.

    Let us know how you are doing.

  17. kalaya

    kalaya New Member

    I don't know where you stand on taking herbs but if you are open to it then I will strongly recommend the herb Passion flower.Works wonderfull,infact to wonderfull for me so I don't take it any longer.Skull cap is another herb that can aide in sleep.God bless.
  18. cczub

    cczub New Member

    I'm open to trying anything. The sleep ahsn't gotten any better. I've stopped taking the predisone since the side effects out-weighed the benifits. The Lunesta only seems to somewhat work at 3mg. After the new year I'm planning on seeing a person who was recommended to me that deals in holistic medicine. This person swears by her as she had cancer and something else(not sure what it is) but she says she has helped mer by leaps and bounds.

    Also, if my doctors can't can't on board and figure out a regiment for me for the pain and sleeping issues I'm going to try the FFC in Philly... I've gotta do something soon because I'm so burnt out I don't know what to do anymore. I know know what "brain fog" means!
  19. Zombie69

    Zombie69 New Member

    Hello, I just wanted to let you know that I sympathize with you and I know how you feel hurting all of the time and having no energy. I don't think it was wrong to tell your wife how you truly felt and that you didn't want another kid at the moment. I know I have a hard enough time taking care of my puppies much less a kid. I'm very thankful that I do not have children and that I'm single and have a great mom to help me out through this. I don't know what I would do if I absolutely had to work.

    It's always good to be honest about how you feel. Maybe one day, you'll feel better or possibly find a new breakthrough in medicine to help you out but right now you are having a hard time and it's important for your wife to know that. I know for me that even though my mom understands and cares about me very much that she still gets somewhat resentful for the fact that she has to work so hard and I don't work at all and do very little. It's natural for her to feel this way some. I can totally understand. I'm used to working and miss it very much.

    On your sleep problems, there's so many things you could try. I know one of the best medications that worked off and on for me was soma. It's a muscle relaxer and while it didn't help my pain a whole lot, it did seem to relax me, especially my neck and allow me to sleep very well at times although I found that the more I took it, the less it helped. There are also some very good anti-depressants that will help you sleep. I know, even if you're not depressed which I don't see how you can't not be a bit especially having FM then they still help a bit with the pain and sleeping. I forgot what the doctor said to me but there's some anti-depressants that they actually use to treat FM with and have had varying results, some successful, some not so successful. Just a thought.

    Others may know some other forms of help for the sleeping that are non-narcotic or more natural. So far, none of the holistic stuff has helped me much. I always go for instant relief which is not necessarily a good thing. Hopefully others will have a few pointers for you too. I wish you luck and I hope you get a good bonus so that you don't have to work a second job. Point your wife to a online support group for people whose families suffer from FM if she needs help understanding or coping with you having this horrible disease. More knowledge and understanding is always a good thing. Just a suggestion, it may be that she already is or that she is very self educated on the subject and doesn't need that. I'm just trying to be helpful. Take care and I hope you start getting a bit of rest.
  20. cczub

    cczub New Member

    I've been on Lexapro and Xanax with no help... I wish they did! The problem is getting the doctors to get on board and actually give me something for the pain... I'm learning to cope with it well but I've been pushing myself way to far with the holidays and work that I really feel it now.

    It'd be nice to have my wife come on the board here and see that I'm not alone... Even though she understands she let it slip out durring the aurgument last week that she thinks me laying around all the time isn't what I SHOULD be doing and I should be more active!!! I lost my mind when she said that... I told her it WASN"T my choice to lounge around as much as I do... I'm the type of person who always likes to be on the go and this is killing me..

    We'll see in January what the doctors have to say then and if they are going to help me out with medication.