Please pray for a very troubled friendship.

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Lms526, Nov 9, 2007.

  1. Lms526

    Lms526 New Member

    I can't really go into a lot of specifics, but here is the situation.

    A few months ago, I met this woman I'll call Anna. She is the leader of my Bible study. But we started getting together outside of Bible study for dinner and just to talk. We became really close friends, and I trusted her. We got together last night. Anyway, Anna told me something last night that has left me feeling extremely hurt, betrayed, confused and angry. I don't think she meant to hurt me, but she did anyway. At first, I thought that it wasn't going to affect our friendship. But it has. I feel like a wedge has been driven in our friendship. But last night, I woke up at 4 am and laid awake for almost 2 hours. I realized it was affecting me a lot more than I thought it would. It hurts me to say it, but I think this situation may have damaged this friendship beyond repair. What's worse, I don't know if I even want to try to repair the friendship. I honestly don't know how to resolve this situation. But I'm going to have to deal with it. I'm going to have to be honest with her about how I feel. Which is not something I'm looking foward to.

    I really need wisdom about what exactly to say. I am also struggling with how to say it. My first choice would be e-mail, but in this situation, I don't think that is the right method. I'm trying to decide if this is something I can do over the phone, or if I need to do it in person. As of right now, things are very unresolved. I know that Anna is also hurting. So while I want to be honest, I don't want to cause her additional pain. But I also think there are some hard questions that I need to ask if we are going to continue to be friends. I don't know if our friendship will ever be the same again. I just want this whole mess to be resolved and to make a decision one way or the other.

    Thank you!
    Lms526
    [This Message was Edited on 11/09/2007]
  2. Pottersclay

    Pottersclay New Member

    You will have to do a lot of praying. Ask God for guidance in how to handle the situation, ask God to help you forgive the person, to let go of the hurt and stuff. Then I think I would make an appointment to talk to the person face to face. Let her know how you feel, how her actions hurt you and made you feel.

    I had a friend I made on the internet. We spent ours talking on the phone. She used to tell me all these things about her husband. He apparently was an alcoholic, threatened her and her parents, etc....

    One day out of the blue she decides to get back with her husband. I didn't support her decision because he never went for help at AA or anywhere. I didn't want to see her get hurt. I had reacted in shock. To make a long story short....the friendship died that day because I didn't support her decision. She accused me of controlling her and abandoning our friendship.

    I prayed,,,again..and again. I had to learn to forgive her for all the things she said to me, make the first move to mend the friendship....wait for two years ...then I gave up. It is hard when they do not even try to be a friend, contact me or anything. I get forward emails and "Oh some day I will get past this. I still think of you as a friend.....I'll call you Sunday....."(that Sunday came and went months ago. She NEVER called or wrote again)

    She hurt me. Apparently I hurt her. Sometimes caring and worrying about a friend can be a crime. This one seems to be unfixable.

    Time will tell if yours will be fixed or not. Take the higher road and make the first move to try and correct it. Then you can't be held accountable for your part in anything. You may have not done anything wrong. Make the first move as if you had. It would be the Christian thing to do. Then it will leave the ball in her court. Then you can't say you didn't do anything to fix the broken friendship. She may have very well not intended to hurt you. She may not even realize she had. You REALLY need to talk to her soon.
  3. Lms526

    Lms526 New Member

    I just wanted to give a big thank you to everyone who replied. You have given me a lot to think about. I still honestly don't know what I am going to say to my friend. But I will probably talk to her sometime later this week or else next week during our dinner. I also want to thank you for your prayers. I will keep you all update as things develop. Thanks for everything!

    Lms526