all of my old mental problems are coming back.I'm not sleeping .My fibo pain is getting really bad .my hips,legs spine shoulders and feet are all in pain ever sence I went to the doctor. But all the mental confusion and an over whelming fear that I am sick not by accident but my someones design. I even have very paranoid feelings again .With those feelings come a fear that someone is watching everything I do and I'm just to stupid to figure out why or what to do. I feel like my failure to understand this life could cause someone pain like I am sick and cant figure anything out. Then yesterday someone emailed me about women who were being followed because of information on the web. So I got on here and took off my bio afraid someone could find me and I would be hurt like when I worked at the paper and had a nervous breakdown. I lost my memory and was lost for hours. I always thought someone drugged me and the fear of what happen while I was lost is a fear I am feeling now. I'm affraid to go out afraid I will louse my mind again and not find my way back home.Or even worse not find me again.Like we always hear about people who come up missing. All was fine ,I thought my mind was well and all of a sudden the other day everything seem to stress me so bad I feel like my medicine doesn't work anymore and all is coming back in bad memories when I got sick. I fear writing you all hear but I also fear not having somewhere to express these things I will turn inward again and become shy and not be who I want to be because of all the confusion in my head.I feel like a slow learner or someone that just can not learn the language that others speak .Like life's a puzzle and I just cant get pass something I cant see in front of me. I am sorry I think this DD takes so much from us .I never use to be afraid of anything after years of emotional growth. Now when this hits me I fear everything Tv, music going anywhere.Its been 7 years and I still cant go in a mall or large groups of people. Yes I will call my Doctor on Monday.I was doing so well and I feel I'm going to crash .I get confused about what is real and what is not. I feel I've lived in a Mystery where I have open a book and come into a new world where I just do not fit.