please pray for me ,I feel like I'm going nuts

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by carebelle, Dec 9, 2006.

  1. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    all of my old mental problems are coming back.I'm not sleeping .My fibo pain is getting really bad .my hips,legs spine shoulders and feet are all in pain ever sence I went to the doctor. But all the mental confusion and an over whelming fear that I am sick not by accident but my someones design.

    I even have very paranoid feelings again .With those feelings come a fear that someone is watching everything I do and I'm just to stupid to figure out why or what to do.
    I feel like my failure to understand this life could cause someone pain like I am sick and cant figure anything out.

    Then yesterday someone emailed me about women who were being followed because of information on the web. So I got on here and took off my bio afraid someone could find me and I would be hurt like when I worked at the paper and had a nervous breakdown. I lost my memory and was lost for hours. I always thought someone drugged me and the fear of what happen while I was lost is a fear I am feeling now.

    I'm affraid to go out afraid I will louse my mind again and not find my way back home.Or even worse not find me again.Like we always hear about people who come up missing.

    All was fine ,I thought my mind was well and all of a sudden the other day everything seem to stress me so bad I feel like my medicine doesn't work anymore and all is coming back in bad memories when I got sick.


    I fear writing you all hear but I also fear not having somewhere to express these things I will turn inward again and become shy and not be who I want to be because of all the confusion in my head.I feel like a slow learner or someone that just can not learn the language that others speak .Like life's a puzzle and I just cant get pass something I cant see in front of me.

    I am sorry I think this DD takes so much from us .I never use to be afraid of anything after years of emotional growth. Now when this hits me I fear everything Tv, music going anywhere.Its been 7 years and I still cant go in a mall or large groups of people.
    Yes I will call my Doctor on Monday.I was doing so well and I feel I'm going to crash .I get confused about what is real and what is not.
    I feel I've lived in a Mystery where I have open a book and come into a new world where I just do not fit.


  2. Roy81

    Roy81 New Member

    Carebell, my wife is in a prayer group here. She can pick up the phone & have many people praying for you shortly.

    I have found a place that sells the Acai juice online. This has helped me very much. I was pretty bad off, so it took a couple of weeks to start working. But since I've had fibro for years that was OK with me. Email me & I will send you the web site.

    God bless,
    [email address removed as per rules]
  3. fairydust39

    fairydust39 New Member

    Hi carebelle,


    I even have very paranoid feelings again .With those feelings come a fear that someone is watching everything I do and I'm just to stupid to figure out why or what to do.
    I feel like my failure to understand this life could cause someone pain like I am sick and cant figure anything out.

    I copied and pasted one part of your post b/c I think we need to acknowledge this!!!

    The Devil is trying to oppress you and make you paranoid b/c that is exactly what he wants to do!
    You need to say"I demand in Jesus Christ name that you,Satan will leave me alone, b/c Satan or his Demons, CAN NOT stay in the wonderful light of GOD". Jesus says "I am the way, the truth and the light".
    The Devil is darkness!
    When you feel this way ,go pray immediately and ask Jesus to make him leave.Believe me this works for me and anyone that says these words,b/c Christ says we can cast out demons in HIS NAME. Oh,the power we have and don't realize it.
    Hugs Shirley
  4. pw7575

    pw7575 New Member

    I know it is scary. I have been feeling like I am going crazy lately myself which is a new symptom for me and very very scary. Definitely been having feelings that I am out of touch with the world and reality. Hang in there! These illnesses affect us in so many ways and if it isn't bad enough that we are physically ill they also mess with our minds too.

    So sorry and I will pray for you! I hope you (and me too) can get back to feeling mentally well.

    Take Care
  5. Scapper

    Scapper New Member

    I too pray that this will pass soon for you!

    PLEASE call your doctor and tell him everything you have told us and INSIST on getting in to see him!

    Stress can cause many many things for each of us......I hope you nip this in the bud before your symptoms get worse.

    Let us know how you do.

    scapper
  6. kbak

    kbak Member

    Carebelle,
    Dang. Sorry to hear your having a hard time. Glad that your going to call your doc. Hope he can help get you in a better place. Prayer's coming your way!

    Take care,

    kbak
  7. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    If you need to, go to an emergency clinic to get help. In the meantime, you have your friends here to support you. Just knowing you are not alone can be comforting.

    Do take care and let us know how you are.

    Kathy
  8. monicaz49

    monicaz49 New Member

    DONT be hard on yourself. this is NOT the real you.
    Your mind is healthy. You are dealing with an illness in which your mind and body are overwhelmed. Lack of sleep contributes but is not entirely to blame.
    FIRST......close your eyes, take a deep breath...and tell yourself..."This is a scary feeling.....I cant stand it. BUT, it wont hurt me...and i wont get any worse."
    The FEAR of how you feel is probably making you feel 10x worse.
    Now....let me tell u this. I get like that too. You are not alone. I cant even explain it.
    PLEASE do me a favor. Go to igenex.com and get a test for Lyme.
    I had posted online one time a few months ago about my CFS/Fibro issues. Someone wrote me and said my symptoms sounded like what they use to have and they found out they had Lyme. They are now very healthy physically and mentally since being treated. Dont bother with other tests. Igenex SPECIALIZES in lyme testing and has the most advanced tests.
    I wouldnt be suprised its what you have too.
    You'll be ok. I know it.
  9. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Carebelle, I think some of us go though cycles of this; more anxiety some times than others. You have so much on your plate right now with the holidays and the move that it's probably overwhelming you. Can you step back from yourself enough to see that? Get some distance between your fear and your reality?

    I'm glad you're calling your doctor on Monday. Have you gotten counseling? It can help so much during times like this. Meanwhile, remember, feelings aren't facts. You may feel as if you're going to crash but that doesn't mean you will. It's a feeling and feelings can be changed. When you find yourself feeling afraid, change your thoughts to something peaceful; an affirmation of scripture verse that comforts you. It really works if you're persistent.

    Marta
  10. ANNXYZ

    ANNXYZ New Member

    Though your emotions are giving you trouble now , YOU DO SOUND perfectly RATIONAL and aware that your feelings do not line up with reality . That says you are more grounded than you think , lady!

    However . a chemical imbalance can rear its head with ANY human being at ANYTIME . No one is totally immune from this possibility because brain chemistry is delicate and the faulty wiring we sometimes have can be inherited
    ( I have clinical depression that spans four generations) . Talk to your doc and share your concerns and see what he may advise SOON. Some of us have to take meds and we are not inferior because of that fact .

    Carabelle, I am going to put your name on my computer and pray for you to get some direction for this problem soon. It is important that you get sleep and also whatever meds your brain chemistry needs to function normally .

    There are times when life is SOOOO hard and God feels removed from us . But He is here and will walk you through this .

    We care for you here .
  11. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Carebelle,
    Hold on . I'll keep you in my prayers.
    You are wise to tell your Dr. on Monday.
    Things will get better, I know they will.

    Big hugs,
    Terry
  12. fmhurt

    fmhurt New Member

    first of all we no you are doing the right thing my going to God in prayer. but i know i'm 56 and was on the patches and one dr. done blood work on me and said they wasn't doing me any good so maybe your dr. needs to up your hormone's that is helping me some it hadn't been but a month. and i will keep you in my prayer's..and i think all of us get down when we hurt with fm .I all so have rsd .


    CAROLYN
    [This Message was Edited on 12/10/2006]
  13. quilp

    quilp New Member

    I have had those feelings too Carebelle. I would sit next to a warm fire and sob uncontrollably for what seemed like hours. Strangely I would feel a little better after.
    It's as if this sadistic disease feels the need to drag you to the point of suicidal thoughts before it loosens its grip over you.
    What I will say is that I honestly believe that there will be a cure for this DD before too long. I'm hanging onto a date I have in my head before which I am 100% sure that I will feel better again.
    What a wonderful feeling it will be to run through a field on a warm summers today, so alive and so free from any pain ever again. It will come Carebelle, have faith.
    Love, Mark
  14. lease79

    lease79 New Member

    Sending lots of prayers your way.
    I really hope that your Dr is able to help you & that you are feeling better soon.
    I am having terrible trouble myself right now with anxiety. Some issues which I haven't had to deal with in a long time. Not fun stuff :(
  15. shar6710

    shar6710 New Member

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. The other posters are right-this isn't YOU its just your brain chemistry. Lack of sleep can mess up your perception and emotions very quickly.

    If you don't feel you can wait til Monday go to an ER and tell them you aren't sleeping.

    Good luck,
    Shar
  16. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    Please get yourself to a psychiatrist right now! What you are experiencing is an imbalance in your brain chemistry neurotransmittors and can be corrected with medication. I am posting an excerpt from an article and I want you to notice if you see yourself in this.

    Moderately high Dopamine levels make us on-guard, suspicious, and prone to misinterpret experiences in the environment. Known as an “idea of reference” in psychiatry, we begin thinking unrelated experiences are suddenly directly related to us. People observed talking across the street are now talking about us. As Dopamine increases, it can become so intense that we feel the radio, television, and newspaper contain secret messages directed at us from Hollywood or elsewhere. It’s as though we are attempting to incorporate/add everything we witness into our life. Planes flying overhead are snapping pictures of us and motorists talking on cellular phones are calling in a report on us. Our mind speed increases and races in an attempt to add all we see into our life. In an attempt to make sense, we may become extremely religious, paranoid, or feel we are a very important person. Increased Dopamine also increases the perception of our senses, as though turning up the volume in all our senses – hearing, vision, taste, smell, and touch.


    As Dopamine levels increase, the noises we heard loudly suddenly become auditory hallucinations. Our inner thoughts are now being heard outside our body. These “voices” begin talking to us, known to take different forms such as derogatory (putting you down), religious topics, command (telling you to do something), or sexual content. Hallucinations (experiencing something that is not truly there in reality) will soon develop in all our senses. We may begin seeing faces in clouds, carpets, or patterns. We may sense the touch of spirits or movements inside our body. We may experience unusual smells or tastes.


    High levels of Dopamine in the brain often cause us to lose our contact with reality. As though living in a science-fiction movie, we begin to develop unusual if not bizarre ideas about what is happening to us. With our paranoia, we may experience delusions (false beliefs) of persecution or may think we have super powers (delusions of grandiosity) and can predict the future or read minds. High levels of Dopamine are found in Schizophrenia, drug intoxication, and other psychotic conditions where the ability to distinguish the inner world from the real world is impaired.

    This can be treated, but you MUST get yourself to a psychiatrist immediately. You should not have to suffer with this!

    Please get the help you need. Sally

  17. caroleye

    caroleye New Member

    There are new methods out now to balance your brain's neurotransmitters. I had one of your episodes yesterday, brought on my a stressful event. No control; feeling crazy; edging on suicidal thoughts; all of those horrible, scary feelings. Tried watching some of my fav music videos but became so emotional, had to stop them. Everything seemed to stress me.

    So I'm setting up a neurofeedback appt to up my serotonin, which is one of the brain's "off" switches. Dopamine is an "on" switch.

    An educated psychiatrist would be the only one likely to help you with that. Also if you google neurofeedback, you can see if this is a potential fit for you.

    HOLDING THE LIGHT**************carole
  18. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Yes this is very much the thoughts I have but not that I am important but that I remember things from my childhood .

    Like I remembered my parents taking in a child one of my friends when her parents were divorced. Her mother was gone somewhere and she stayed with us for a while.
    I remember my mother telling us that if we saw her dad not to go anywhere with him .

    We lived two houses away from my grade school .One Day walking home I think it was him ,Drove up in a car and tried to get both of us to get in his car. We both ran home to my house and were very scared .I remember telling my mom but I can not remember anything else. I do not remember even when she moved. She lived at the top of the hill and they raised Rabbits. That's always been one of my favorite animals. So sometimes when I see rabbits I think of her.

    When I was working and got sick I imagined I saw someone I thought was her .There's no way it was . I live on the other side of the country.I just had a strong feeling like it was.

    I'll see strangers and feel like I may have some connection with them. When I know in reality That is silly.

    I am going to call my Doctor tomorrow. I have has a headace all weekend. Thank you all for trying to help me.
    Also a new Doctor I saw manipulated my trigger points and on the back of my neck and it really hurt. But I had been feeling this way for a few days before the appointment.My fear started when my Daughter was in another state stuck at an airport alone. I became fearful something would happen to her. So all these feelings just rushed me at once.

    Thank you all again[This Message was Edited on 12/10/2006]
  19. cordy250

    cordy250 Member

    One of the main reasons I come back to this board is when I feel overwhelmed with fear and other symptoms, I find comfort in the fact that most of what I am going through is related to this disease. You feel very alone sometimes, as if you are the only one suffering through some of these things, but you are not. The fact that others have gone through it and learned to deal can be very helpful.
  20. deliarose

    deliarose New Member

    i have relatives who have experienced symptoms like yours, and it sounds like a dopamine problem to me.

    I would definitely reach out and get help. It's important to tackle all illnesses or problems early. They're much more manageable and treatable that way.

    Nothing to be ashamed or anxious about. Just get yourself a psychiatric evaluation so you can rule it in or out, and make sure you get help from extended family and support groups.

    You've taken the first step by reaching out to people here... Please follow thru and get a medical assessment so you can take advantage of any medical therapies that will get you through this difficult time.

    I don't know if this is relevant.. but sometimes peri-menopause or menopause can affect our neurotransmitters and bring on episodes of paranoia and other symptoms.

    Delia