Dear all, this message might sound meaningless or irresponsible to you. But I'm sincerely begging for your prayer. I'm so nervous and confused right now. I can't express my own problems to you which are disturbing me seriously right now (that's why I think I'm a little irresponsible). I feel shameful. And I don't think medicine can help. I'm so lost. No one around me I can talk to. I wish my life could change. I wish God can give me hints how to live (or perhaps He keeps giving me hints but I'm too stupid to get). I feel so helpless. I always feel I'm choosing the wrong way to live, I keep running away from reality. I'm so tired and afraid of the picture describing I'll be forsaken from the society at the end. I want to have a goal in my life but I can't. I'm so weak, I'm almost useless. Everyone has a goal but I don't have, I feel I'm weird. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming the world, it's so obvious my own problem. I hate myself being so weak. Please pray for me to have strength to step out my situation. Although I'm not suffering physically, it hurts me mentally for years.