Please Respond To Posts

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Mikie, Apr 3, 2011.

  1. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I know most of us are really busy and we may scan only for posts which interest us or posts by people we know; however, some come here for a little support which is desperately needed.

    There is one post here that was viewed by 39 people and not one bothered to answer. I assume that many just don't know what to say to a person who is in crisis. All one needs to say is, "I'm sorry you are having a rough time right now," or "I'll pray for you." It only takes a minute and means the world to a person in pain. We have it in our power to give some love and support and make others' lives a little less burdensome. It is a gift to us to have such an opportunity to do a little good in the world.

    I'm not trying to lecture; I'm simply asking for some small kindnesses for our fellow sufferers. Lord knows we can all use it.

    Love, Mikie
  2. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Nice of you to bring this up. I haven't been around much lately, but I'll check it out. I know how it feels to reach out for support and come up empty handed...not good.

    People do care here, but as you said, sometimes we just don't know what to say...also, sometimes it's hard to sound upbeat when we don't know what to do about our own problems. This is not an easy situation for any of us, but we do need to stick together!

    xoxoxo Hermit
  3. clementyne

    clementyne New Member

    as I come here only when I can no longer cope on my own. There have been times when I have posted & have felt let down when no one answered me but reading your post made me wonder how many times I have read a post & not responded myself!
    Of course we can't all respond to every post but if we see a post no one has responded to, we should, indeed, reach out.
    Thanks for your insight!
  4. quanked

    quanked Member

    I have noticed that not only crisis posts are being ignored but many other kinds of posts get little response.
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Your responses are much appreciated. It's true; we can't respond to everyone but if just a few people respond with a little support, it can really make the difference. I know from my own past experience here that our members are generous and caring people. I can't read all posts but do try to reach out now and then to members in pain and I pray for all of us every day.

    We are all in the same boat and spend so much of our time just trying to cope with our own problems. It's almost as though coping simply becomes a way of life. When one stops to think about it, though, we are all heros and heroines for doing our best each day despite often horrible pain, exhaustion and the problems that chronic illnesses can bring. It is often those ancillary problems, involving relationships and finances, which cause us to lose hope.

    Thing is that we are the only ones who truly understand what others with our illnesses go through. I'll bet that at some time, every one of us has thought that we cannot take it any longer or we lose hope. Then, we pick ourselves up and keep on keepin' on. We are amazing and we are strong. We can be even stronger when we reach out to one another. You guys are the best!

    Love, Mikie
  6. lgp

    lgp Well-Known Member

    for such a sensitive and necessary post. How very kind of you to take the time to post about this.

    Often times, in my opinion, people are looking for a little validation and support. A few replies reminds a person that they are not as alone as they thought they were when they came to the board and posted their problems.

    Thanks again--

  7. Bunchy

    Bunchy New Member

    I think since the format of the board changed and the logging in takes time (and some of our limited energy) and also because some of the people who had a lot of knowlege either got booted off the forum for arguing or left and went over to PR are the main reasons the board is not as active.

    I think it is such a shame as in the old days, I learned so much from this forum and used to be able to answer other's posts - now there are not too many posts I can answer as most are related to things I am not educated about (especially being in the UK!)

    I'd love to take part more but the board needs to become more active again with people discussing the latest treatment options and research, things that have helped them or things that might be worth trying etc.

    I'd also like to help more but many posts eg about mold, SSDI, supplemental regimes I know nothing about or have no experience to be able to offer any helpful advice or support.

    I will try to help where I can as this forum has been a Godsend to me many times and I like to help others if I can.

    Lovely of you to post this - I hope we can all get the board moving again as I know some find PR too hectic.

    Love Bunchy x
  8. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    When I thought about this topic, I realized that I often breeze thru the boards checking for some type of post that grabs my attention. If someone is asking for info, I will give input if I can, but it just depends on the day and how I'm feeling.

    I often have to limit my computer use because I can get lost in my laptop for too many hours! I'm trying to break my addiction to a silly puzzle game I've been playing online for weeks! Sometimes I just have to peel myself away from the keyboard!

    Good to see you all....
  9. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Yes, this board isn't like the old days when it was small and we were more like a big group of friends. Unfortunately, with growth came a lot of arguing and a lot of the time, it got out of hand resulting in mass bannings or people just leaving. It's a shame.

    Now that I can finally log on, I do stop in to PR now and then. Last time, I got a whole post done and wiped it out with my own missteps on my new laptop. I simply didn't have the energy to redo it.

    Our lack of energy, or time to commit to boards, is one of the biggest reasons we don't always respond. I do think, though, that if we would just respond to one person in pain, it would really help. I've been so blessed by this board that it's my first love. When I worked part time, I couldn't get here much but now that I'm home again, I try to check in once a day.

    Sending warm hugs to everyone.

    Love, Mikie
  10. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    I agree, but I have to say that I don't think things will ever be like they were. Before the change help and advice were in abundance, but now, as Mikie said, you can post something and get NO answers as I have lately more than once. It is disappointing and sad to have that happen. I have tried other boards, but have not found any other that I like as compared to this one before the change.

    I think the feature showing how many people have looked at your post is perhaps more frustrating than helpful. To see that 800 ppl have looked at your post and one or two posted (or none) and the posts are sometimes not even a response to your post, but something else entirely.
  11. Scapper

    Scapper New Member

    Good point!

    I do however, find this new forum more difficult. I'm having a hard time navigating......not sure if it's just me. I used to be able to search easier.....can't bring up past posts the same way I used to be able to. I could use some help, but not sure where to get it.

    But, you are right.....thanks for posting......I will do my part.

  12. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Thank you all for taking the time to respond. Yes, it is a good point that we should acknowledge when people do respond to us. At times, people have asked for help in a area in which I have some knowledge and/or experience. I will take time for a comprehensive response only to have it, and other responses, never acknowledged. I'm sure that with our memory problems, it's easy to post and ask for advice and simply forget about it. I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

    You guys are the best!

    Love, Mikie
  13. LittleBluestem

    LittleBluestem New Member

    If a person is asking for information rather than support, I may not know anything about what they are asking. Even if a post is mostly seeking support, I often don’t respond if it is not a problem that I have experienced and can directly relate to. I guess that is a little narrow-minded. If I am already signed in and the post had made it to the second page, I bump it back to the first. If I do a simple bump, I delete it right after I post it.

    With all of the problems with the board, I no longer automatically sign in. If I see a post I think I can make a useful response to, I sign in. The sign-in actually works better from inside a post. Once I am signed in, I check for posts that need a bump. Sometimes a post that I bump will then get several replies. They just need to be on the first page at the right time for the right people to see them.
  14. lgp

    lgp Well-Known Member

    Just way too many lurkers here for me--making me extremely uncomfortable. I am seriously considering deleting my profile and checking out altogether.

  15. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Jam, I am sorry you are having such a rough time. My prayers are with you. I pray for all of us every day.

    Love, Mikie
  16. LittleBluestem

    LittleBluestem New Member

    You do not have to bounce out of the thread to log in. If you click ‘reply’, you will get a message similar to “you have to log in to do that”, with ‘log in’ being an active link to the log-in page. After you log in, it take you back to the thread you were in. It is actually the simplest way to log in. I don’t log in until/unless I want to reply to something.
  17. kellygirl

    kellygirl Member

    I am not on much anymore with having to watch my two-year-old grandson, it's exhausing, but I'll commit to trying to do better.

    This board has helped me through a lot of my crap, and I do believe in paying it forward.

    Thanks for the reminder.
  18. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Have been extremely exhausted lately. I try to, at least, respond to one or two posts when I'm here. I totally understand that just posting a couple of responses can be exhausting or that we all have only so much energy and often more things to do than we have the energy to do them.

    When I first posted this it was in reaction to a post from a member reaching out for a little human contact and support. People had viewed the post but no one responded. I'm sure that many just didn't feel they knew what to say or didn't have adequate info or experience to reply. My point is that it's enough just to say, "I'm sorry for what you are going through," or "I wish I could help but I don't have the answers; however, I hope things improve for you." It only takes a good word or two to give comfort. We probably never know how much our outreach of caring means to others, especially newcomers to our illnesses and/or out board.

    The people here are some of the finest I've been priveleged to know. Our members are kind and caring and sooooo generous with sharing info and giving comfort. I just wanted to give a gentle reminder of how much we can be of help to one another.

    Love, Mikie
  19. kellygirl

    kellygirl Member

    You are one that has helped me a lot over the years....thank-you.
  20. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Thank you so much for the kind words. I really appreciate them. You've made my day. I think we all help each other here. Almost everything which has helped me is something I first learned of here. That's huge but the little kindnesses are just as important. They keep us going.

    Bless you, my friend, for taking the time to be so sweet.

    Love, Mikie