Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Mikie, Apr 11, 2016.

  1. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Good Morning, Everydobby,

    I'll be back after reading the final posts on Porch 880.

    OK, I hope I didn't miss anything:

    Wow, thought it was time to start a new Porch. I'm glad to see our Porchies posting and hope our MIA's return as soon as possible. Not much to tell here. Still suffering from sinus problems likely due to allergies. AACCKK!!! Roomba vacuumed the floors and I need to get out the floor scrubber and do the tiles. I absolutely have to go to the store; I'm almost outta milk. Got to have that for my coffee.

    Spring, I'm so sorry that I didn't see your whole post when we were posting at the same time. That necklace is beautiful. I have some gold and silver jewelry that I seldom, or never, wear. I like to buy costume jewelry because, for the money, I can get a lot more. I just love the design of yours. Wear it in good health. Glad you got your alterations done on some of your clothing. It's always good to feel as though you have things to wear. I don't and won't until my weight settles in and I buy some new clothing and/or alter some of my Capri pants. I hope and pray those EQ's stop. It must be so unnerving to have them shaking everything out of the blue.

    Granni, yes, golf looks easier than it is. I think if a person has a 'natural' swing, it's easier. I took private lessons and the guy just kept trying to perfect my swing. Well, the grip did not feel natural at all and I think I was worse after the lessons than before. Before that, I could swing naturally but had a lot of problems with direction and length of the drives. I can chip and putt but my driving sucks big time. Playing now might just do in my back. I felt bad for the Spieth kid, or whatever his name is. He was so far ahead and then, just fell apart. He looked as though he was in shock. I think he did his best and wasn't a sore loser. I really think he felt as though he were walking through a bad dream. Oh well, losing might be the best thing to happen to him. He's only 22.

    Sun, the Snowbirds usually come after the holidays and stay until after Easter. A few will come earlier and leave earlier but the holiday-to-holiday rule of thumb works for most of them. When there is a really bad winter, they often come early. Barb has told people she will be back down so I'm sure they will hang onto her condo. I don't know whether or not she will but she is fueled by hate and anger and it almost seems to give her superhuman powers. Yikes!!! Hope your back is better. Mine is OK but, every now and then, all I have to do is make a slight move and it's like it 'shorts out' like a bad electrical connection.

    Julie, I'm glad you got to the doc before that infection gets worse. I hope you have a chance to rest but it doesn't look like it with two appts. today. I hope you can get to bed early tonight. Thoughts and prayers coming your way.

    Hope all y'all have a good day.

    Love, Mikie
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2016
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hi Kids

    Thanks for opening up, Mikie. Haven't had any sleep yet. Too bad TCM
    only shows 2 and 3 star movies during the night. I finished reading
    the autobiography of George Murphy, song and dance man on Broadway
    and film. Senator from California when I moved here.

    Also finished a book by a psychiatrist who worked on weekends at Bellevue
    Hospital. Bellevue is the oldest hospital in the country, founded in the decade
    after my ancestors arrived. Even though it is a full service hospital, it is
    known for its psychiatric ward. Her job was to decide who had to be
    admitted and who could be treated and released. Most of the patients were
    under arrest and brought in by the cops.

    The plumber finally came, fixed our leak and installed a new toilet.
    He told us not to use it for 24 hours. (We have a spare one downstairs.)
    We did not have a launching ceremony since we lacked the essential
    ingreediment, a bottle of champagne.

    I will return after Mikie has posted.

  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Well, there ya go. Mikie has posted. I don't have any costume jewelry, Mikie,
    but I have rings with lab created stones. I wouldn't want the real thing. Not
    only too expensive, but you have to insure it. And then you'd feel bad if
    it got lost or stolen.

    Spring, that was a very dramatic necklace you posted. Looked like jewelry
    the Vikings might have worn. If you scroll up or down over the picture, it
    looks as though the necklace is moving. Yes, I was joking about the PTA.
    Now if it were the ATP (Associated Transportation Program), that would
    be nothing to joke about. Gordon currently has a "dancing lady" or
    oncidium orchid on the dining room table. The flowers are twice the
    usual size. His orchid friend Jim is most annoyed. He acquired the same
    for his garden, but his isn't blooming.


    Julie, sorry to hear about the bronchitis and sinus problems. Have you
    taken prednisone before? My mother took it. Don't know how long. Anyhoo
    she thought (or maybe the doctor told her) it caused tiny bone fragments
    in her feet to break loose and float to the surface. Maybe that's no longer
    a problem.

    Sun, is that sciatica something that flares up now and then or a constant
    problem? I remember there was some commercial when I was a kid.
    Promised pain relief for sciatica. Had no idea what what it was.
    Sounded sci-entific to me. Hope your back is improving. Mine is no
    problem as long as I'm in bed. Sitting too long aggravates it.

    Well, time to go. Lucy is on in ten minutes. I can lie on the sofa while
    viewing. Hugs, Kids
  4. bct

    bct Well-Known Member

    Hi All, hope you are having a good day!

    Rock, you sure are a night owl. Do you have any regular sleep pattern? As for TCM, we are always watching old movies from the pre-70's. Richard is a film nut; he drives me nuts sometimes. He is interested in every actor in the movie, even the ones that appear for only a few m inutes. And the directors, producers, musicians, writers of the music, the script, the cinematography, and on and on. Or he'll get interested in a particular actor/actress and watch all the films with said in them. Eeeek! I am only interested in the act, not the actors... Oh well, he did teach classes in film in college.

    By the way, I love the Oncidium. Always have; had one once, a long time ago, but I am not an orchid person--- growing them that is. I mainly grew succulents and geraniums in our small nursery back in the day (before ME struck); they sold well. I also had a plant booth at some of our local art/music fairs. My baby peyote plants (grown from seed) sold out in the first few hours at ten bucks each. Paid for an oxblood vase for sale for 185 that I liked. Alas now broken and gone, both the nursery, the vase, and parts of me!

    Diane, Get Rid Of Your Doctor if you can! At the very least make a complaint to the medical board. He is totally unprofessional and may harm others. Sorry you are in league with Satan; according to his standards we probably all are, LOL! Your "doc"needs to be shown up.

    Julie, hope you don't get too run down and am so glad you saw a doctor finally. Driving all night seems a real chore to me, but then I've stopped driving for safety reasons. I still have a license though! By the way, re GPA, have you investigated the possibility of an external catheter device. I forget what they are called, but they were in use when I worked in a hospital decades ago. Oh yeah, I think they were called Texas catheters -- kind of like a condom with a tube on the outside.

    I have had some back problems recently, but it seems a little better every day. I'm afraid I was remiss in doing my back excercises --- my McKenzie stretches: hands on hips, lean back as far as you can three times, and then forwards and try to touch your toes three times. Repeat, repeat. It worked for me when I slipped a lumbar disc and had terrible sciatica for weeks and weeks down my left leg from the spine. It cleared up eventually. That was years ago. I refused surgery. I slowed down doing my exertions, but have started again. I can touch my toes! Remember to keep your legs straight -- no cheating!

    Rock, I don't have any jewelry either. Oh, there are a couple of gold rings somewhere, and a free- floating diamond. I don't where it is floating right now -- I don't like diamonds anyway. My gold earring was ripped out of my ear about fifteen yrs, ago by my naughty Senegal Parrot, Baby. I stopped wearing it. I got my ear pierced at Selfridges in London in the early '80's.

    I think that's all for now,
    rockgor likes this.
  5. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Popping in for a few minutes so I can catch you all on my phone since this is a new thread.

    New to get started on my stuffed peppers which is a big project. Went shopping for a bit and then for a short work out at the gym. Didn't stay to long as DH all of a sudden wasn't feeling well. I think it was he was doing to much and hadn't eaten in some time. He also got up even earlier than usual and so ate breakfast even earlier.

    Have been also busy sending out Texts to family on our DD problem on where she will go after she gets out from the hospital today. He will pick her up in an hour or two I think. They supposedly gave her a list of some places she might go, we'll see. They don;t share anything with you except to the patient and if she wants to share with family that is OK. Not even sure how much they told her and how much she is keeping from everyone. She also has a broken arm to confused the problem even more. She needs to go somewhere at least for a short term until it is determined that she is doing much better ( if that can ever be determined). Wonder if we came up with lots of money things would be different. If we had to take her in we would most likely have to move back to the area we lived before in Houston, or someplace around there The problem right now is that she seems to need supervision and almost everyone either works and or hadn't the money to really help her and also has been burned the last time she was taken in by DS.

    Sure hope the list they gave her and some info DSIL sent to DS will help her. She needs something somewhere - She needs a lot of prayers right now. Hope they also give her a script for her meds.. Who will pay for them - the state, the govt??

    We are not even sure we will continue after this year to have our medical insurance as well as possibly pension next year. There have been some rumors going around. If that happens we MAY have to move anyway. I surely hope not for many reasons.

    JULIE - Glad you got to the doc and got some meds and hope it helps you. TRY and take it easy but I know that is very hard to do in your situation. Gad also Den is doing well too and they have lessened and changed his meds for the better.

    Gotta run for now !

    Love to everydobby,
    Granni :confused:
  6. bct

    bct Well-Known Member

    I'm Back. Had to water some plants (lilies) in pots. Took dogs on walk. Tired out and sweating, so sitting down with a cuppa green tea.

    The Japanese Cherry Mt. Fuji is covered with pink double flowers. I still have tulips blooming, and saw some new batches of buds today. The crab apple is a white foamy looking thing it is so covered in little white flowers. When the wind blew the other day it looked like it was snowing outside for a moment, so many petals falling from the sky from an up-draft. Rock, tell G that I love orchids but only collected Pleiones. They were all killed 35 yrs. ago before the g-house was built. They were on the ground in pots, clustered together, and a naughty dog peed on them. Morte.
    The Easter cactus on the windowsill is covered in shocking pink flowers. I was going to toss it last yr. after it bloomed, but relented and put the pot under the cherry tree's shade for the summer. Very pleased with it now....

    Ted, handyman who lives in a small caravan on our ten acres, finally got off his duff and did some weedeating the other day. Things looking better, but more needs to be done. He has had a hard life, many foster homes as a kid until adopted. He has several adopted siblings but isn't too close to them. Has a lovely dog named Romeo, cross between a black Lab and a chow (blue tongue). He also -- Ted that is-- has many tattoos and a pierced tongue). Fortunately none of the tats are on his face or neck! :eek:.

    Ta-ta for now.
  7. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    Barry: Your stretches sounds like it's to work the spine. I have stenosis, neck and low back, (among other things) and have gotten into the habit of doing slow stretches on the floor every morning. And last night I even did them before bed......been going thru a lot of back pain which edges down my legs. A few years ago I saw an orthopedic surgeon that checked me out, said I didn't need surgery just the proper stretches, so was sent to PT. OMG......so hard and tiring! I slacked off doing the stretches for the sciatic though, so here I am....suffering again. I've looked at YouTube for more stretches for sciatic. One you can do sitting in a chair.

    Glad to read your trailer friend is eating weeds!

    Rock: I asked at TJ the other day how they think they will be affected by Aldi. Big surprise, it's owned by the people who own TJ. Apparently it's more of a warehouse type market. I heard that you bag your own groceries, and you put in a quarter to get a shopping cart to use. When you're done you return the cart and the quarter drops back to you. This is to save them having to hire courtesy clerks to retrieve or bag. With only me eating I doubt I will shop there more than one time to check out the store.

    Julie: I hope nothing stands in the way of vacation for you and Den. By the way, how does Lindsey like her new home? And I'm happy that your chiro fixed your problems.

    Granni: Same in Calif. as Iowa.......I'm surprised some agency hasn't jumped in to organize things for your DD. How did she break her arm? Was she in a cast when your DS found her?

    Mikie: So is it quiet around the hood now?Did you get your spare room cleaned? I worked like crazy yesterday and today my cleaning lady remarked at how much work had been done. She doesn't clean that room though, just walked by.

    I Had to go to another bank this morning to have something notarized. Drove away and stopped at Starbucks and realized the bank lady didn't return my drivers license, so I ran out and back to the bank. By then my back and neck was killing me so asked for some water at Starbucks along with my coffee so I could take some ibuprofen. I'm all done with this trust.....just need to initial each page.......the bank lady pointed out that fact to me today. I've said this before but it's sooooo darn hard having to do everything on my own.
  8. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Just a very short note. We got a note from DS that he had dropped her off ( not sure where yet in Houston) with the list of places for help and will be getting some kind of plan similar to social security and will be getting discounted or free meds. Not sure as they told her and she didn't share all the info given I am guessing. Little by little we may find some of this out. They did give her a list of places to go for housing and different kinds of aid.

    The GOOD news is that when I got on the computer she has sent our a couple of e-mails and is requesting help from the family. Not to get into it all now but but he got know answers from the hospital except for what they gave to DD. Maybe the meds or med is helping her to focus on what she needs to do besides having her brother there to talk to who makes good sense in a sweet way. Hoping all this is the beginning of a new beginning for her. I sure do hope so.

    JULIE - No time to chat now but hope you get a minute to slow down and try and rest a bit in between everything you are doing for Gpa etc.

    Love to everydobby,
    Granni :)
  9. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Good Morning, Porchies,

    My friend across the street passed away yesterday afternoon. Her sister called me last night around 8:30. She sounded as though she was doing pretty well. I'm going to get into the shower this morning in case she needs anything. I have to go to the store so will call her before I go. The infection on her leg is still draining and a nurse comes to change the dressing and repack it every day. She has a grandson who is in nursing school and he sill care for her when she gets home. My friend's DH will be flying north today with their son. I don't know whether they shipped her body or whether she was cremated. I know all services will be up there with their family. This is just their winter home.

    All day yesterday, I didn't feel well and experienced a kind of tension. I wasn't up to doing anything. After the sister called me last night, I had a kind of sense of relief. This waiting for my friend to go to a better place has been hard on them. She had been on IV morphine for a couple of days. I know from my Mom's experience that it helps ease people over onto the other side. At the end, there is nothing to do but wait and pray. We've lost so many here in the hood. It doesn't get any easier.

    Rock, as I've gotten older, I've found that, instead of the wonderful B&W movies of the WWII Era, some of the old movie channels play movies from the 60's and 70's. There were a lot of awful movies made then. They depress me. That orchid looks gorgeous. My orchids don't seem to like it out on my lanai as they did when hanging in the tree outside our balcony. I had to move then after the tree was cut down. Hope the new toilet is everything you had hoped for.

    Julie, I hope your meds have had a chance to make you feel better by now. You 'splained better than I could about Diane's doc. Yes, I believe the same as you, with maybe just a bit of New Age stuff thrown in. I'm happy to discuss it with my mechanic who knows we both believe in the same things. He is a fundamental Christian. He has some brochures in his waiting room but he never tries to push his beliefs on his customers. He does a lot of charitable works and doesn't just talk the talk; he walks the walk. When I was getting poor mileage, he suggested I use high-octane gas from Mobil for a couple of fill ups (it worked). He never suggested that Satan was in the gas I was using. Good grief!

    I do believe in dark spirits and Spring has helped me a lot when it seemed demons of some sort were causing trouble around me. Belief, prayers and ritual has helped me get through it. The best thing was when Barb left. She took the dark energy that seems to cling to her with her. I believe anger and rage invite dark spirits into our realms. That is why I pray to walk in God's light. I am so sorry about all of GPA's troubles. I hope they can help him but I also hope it doesn't interfere with you trip. Seems that every time, something comes up. You and Den deserve a break. I'm glad the kids like the new house. I'll bet they love having their new bedrooms to share. Is Clinton feeling better? I continue to pray for all of you.

    Barry, my sciatica runs down the right side of my back into my leg. I also get remiss in doing the stretches which help it. My problem is simply misalignment of my pelvis and hip, pinching the nerve. My exercises help and I should keep them up. My kids have a black chow/Neufie mix. He has the black tongue and also has webbed feet. He is beautiful and looks like a Neufie. He is a gentle giant, scared of his own shadow but still protective of the family. Is an Easter Cactus like a Christmas Cactus or something entirely different? Ilona left an angel wing begonia that she started when she was here. I put it under the eaves on a little table out on the balcony where it gets a bit of shade and shouldn't get too much rain when it finally arrives. I hope it makes it. It must be heavenly with the crab apple and cherry trees in bloom. Hope you feel better so you can enjoy your beautiful surroundings.

    Granni, so much going on with you. I hope DH is feeling better. I also hope DD gets settled in and stays on her meds and gets better. I've sent up a prayer that everything works out, including the pension and insurance. It's horrible that companies can do that. Keep us updated. Did you get any of that horrible rain and hail storm which raged through TX? Seems to me that El Nino is sticking around.

    Sun, I didn't get the spare room cleaned yet. The rest of the condo had gotten so bad that I have had to stop and redo that. I'm still not done either. This is how the room just continues to sit. At some point, I'll have to bite the bullet and just dig in and let the rest of the condo go. If it weren't for my having to clean up after these cats all the time, it wouldn't get so bad. Oh well, they are worth the effort. As I mentioned to Barry, my sciatica is better when I do my exercises. It's also better when I wear the back brace which helps my posture. Good posture is important so that my hip and pelvis don't pinch the nerve. Same with the exercises. The TENS Unit breaks the pain cycle so it isn't so inflamed. Are you getting rain there? Our rainy season hasn't started yet.

    Well, Kids, I'm going to post this and go back to edit before I lose it. Hope y'all have a good day.

    Love, Mikie
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2016
  10. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hi Kids

    Just looked at the morning schedule for I Love Lucy. The Publicity Agent
    episode will be on. I think that's the one where Lucy utters the immortal
    line, "I'm not a Maharinsess; I'm a Henna-rinsess."

    Kawinkydentally, TCM is showing Too Many Girls from the year I was
    born. Not too many people are familiar with the film, yet it is one of
    the most significant movies in entertainment history. Why? Because
    Lucy and Desi met while they were making it.

    Mikie, I guess your orchids are swingers. Prefer life in the trees.
    Yesterday I visited the chicken coop (it houses orchids; not fowl).
    There were a dozen orchids in bloom including one with medium
    size flowers of a fiery red-orange. Just like this.


    Also spied a pink cactus bloom; big as half a cantaloupe.

    And thank you for the good toilet wishes. Just think. W/o the modern
    toilet and sewer system, our huge modern cities would be impossible.
    Anyhoo, the darn thing has the equivalent of hiccups or something.
    Every now and then the water runs in the tank for ten-20 seconds.
    Does this a few times and then stops. It's a pain to take the top of
    the tank and inspect cause Gordon has a potted orchid on the lid.
    I moved it to the garden. See how long it takes him to notice. :)

    (By "it" I mean I moved the orchid; not the toilet.)

    Julie, thanks for the pictures of Carla's place. I did a search on You
    Tube. The search engine refused to look for Carla Balll. It insisted
    on looking for Carla Ball so, of course, it found nothing.

    Sun, I went to the Home Page of Aldi to get more info. I clicked on the page
    for stores in California. They don't list any. Tried to return to the
    home page and got thrown off the site. So much for them. Glad you
    got your license back. I only had a wallet disappear once, decades ago.
    I remember it was a hassle to get all that stuff replaced. Probably be
    worse now since many of us have more stuff to keep track of.

    Barry, glad to see you were up to posting; Twice! Do you have exotic
    geraniums? Back in Minnesota I never saw any but the standard red
    ones. For 15 years here in CA we lived next to a lady whose lawn
    was bare dirt, but was surrounded by an amazing variety of geraniums
    in various colors and patterns. We used to wonder how she got
    anything done as she stood in the yard for 6-7 hours a day. Chatted
    with anybody who walked by.

    BTW never heard of pleiones. Found lots of pics on the net though.
    Very nice. Wikipedia says the name also applies to the Pleiades star cluster.

    Hugs to Springwater, Granni, Diane,

  11. ConfusedInPA

    ConfusedInPA Well-Known Member

    Hi everybody,

    I'm totally worn out. I've been crying a lot. Just feel miserable.

    Sun, about the $ amount I mentioned: It's what docs can charge the ins co for NEW PATIENT VISITS. NO, I don't pay that amount, but the doc bills it for his time. He then gets paid the "negotiated amount."

    So, if I were to see another doc in a couple weeks. New patient visit. Cost, close to $700. Blah blah blah.

    How many times will the insurance co let me change docs? I don't know. Kevin sees his doc on Thurs; because he's an established patient, no prob. Lower amount billed to ins, lower amt accepted by doc.

    I have to call the insurance company. I don't know about filing an official "complaint" with the medical board -- if I were to have to give a deposition or something akin to that, I couldn't do it.

    I'm just kinda messed up right now.

    I keep hoping that the "perfect answer" will come to me. I think that it's so sad that I need 2 docs, and 1 just pushed me backwards, instead of encouraging me to go forward.

    I've read all your posts. Goodness about Carla's property. Mikie, Barry, Rock, Spring, Sun, Julie -- take good care. Granni, you have my email if you want to talk off the board. HI to everyone else that I missed!

    Luv y'all, DIANE

    PS: I called the insurance company. I can get a new doc, as necessary. And they will consider a complaint against current doc, if I choose. That's all I have to report, that's all I'm up to posting. Luv y'all.
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2016
    gb66 and rockgor like this.
  12. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Hi, Kids,

    Talked to my friend, the sister of the friend who died. Both live in the same little courtyard across the street. She didn't need anything from the store. Her son took her car for an oil change before they leave to go up North. She seems to be doing pretty well. She lost her husband a few years ago and her grandson was killed in a motorcycle accident a couple of years ago. Poor lady--she has been through so much loss. We don't know whether there is anyone taking up a collection nor whether my friend had suggested a charity for donations when she passed.

    I went to the store and am exhausted. Just showering, doing my hair and shopping are enough to wipe me out. I did buy a bit more today so more to haul in and put away. Publix had dishwasher detergent on BOGO so picked up two bags. There were 50-cent coupons on each one so I really made out on that deal. Cats get tied of the same food so I picked up a bag of Purina Complete for them. I try to stock up when it's on BOGO but it's usually Meow Mix.

    I found a pot of garlic chives and bought it. It's out on the balcony with the rest of the herbs in its pot. It really does smell like garlic. I made another healthy burrito with all kinds of fresh stuff on it. I had to buy cilantro because the little one I'm growing isn't big enough to harvest from yet. I got a couple of small swordfish fillets that were frozen. It's high in mercury so I seldom eat it. I put them in the freezer. I picked up a beautiful ribeye steak for tomorrow. I keep hoping if I eat better, I'll feel better.

    Rock, how nice it would be if our toilets were in the middle of a nice garden. Your toilet valve system probably needs to be adjusted. That is the part I always hate to do when I change out that stuff in the tank. My toilets are the original ones but in good shape after 23 yrs. I don't see the need to replace them unless something goes wrong besides the valve systems, which I can replace. The newer toilets are low-water but usually have a strong flush to compensate. What I don't like is that they don't sit as low as the old ones. The lower one is to the ground, the better for healthy elimination. It would be better if we did use the gardens but without the toilets. Yes, that would present a problem in a big city (or most anywhere else). I did replace the seats and lids with ones which close slowly so they never slam. Sir Vester loves to stand up and watch the water go down the drain. When DGS was little, they were the first ones he had seen. He said, "Boy, Grandma, you house sure is nice." That orange orchid is absolutely gorgeous. Thanks for sharing.

    Diane, perhaps your therapist can help you with this doc dilemma. In the long run, it may be better to switch now and find someone you like. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. The ins. co. really needs to know about him but if it's too stressful for you, someone else will likely turn him in. If he had asked you whether it was OK to pray and had offered up a little prayer for you, I would likely think he was a good guy. What he was doing, however, was waaaaay over the line, especially the part about Satan. Good grief! I keep you in my prayers.

    Julie, do you think GPA is purposely making more work for you? That just sounds sooooo P/A. You have enough on your hands without dealing with urine everywhere on a continuing basis. He doesn't deserve the wonderful care you provide. You know you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

    I've been through so much stress of late and I pray for all of us that we can get rid of it in our lives. It is the worst thing for what ails us. Thank God we have this wonderful place in which we can meet up, vent, offer support and pray for one another. You guys mean the world to me.

    Love, Mikie
  13. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    Julie: he's very insecure......as a result from living with his wife who apparently was a bully and his DD who is also one. He recognized what a good person you were so tries to assert his authority over you. Call him on everything he does to upset you. You really have to draw the line with him. I cringe every time I read about you doing laundry. And yes, sis has got him SCARED....he's angry at her but at the same time he wants or needs some approval from her, but he ain't gonna get it. It might be good if HE could talk with your pastor.

    I wouldn't put the dust ruffle back on. Make the bed as sparse as you can to avoid problems. By the way, I read what you had written about Den, and him not backing you up. That's because MAMA ruled the roost and he learned to back down. That's how one becomes a PA......

    Granni: I do hope that your DD now gets her life together, staying on the necessary meds, etc. Does your DS live near where she will be that he can check on her all the time? How about your other DD, where does she live.

    Diane: great news that you contacted the insurance company. I sure hope you find a good doctor to see. By the way, I suggest that you buy a little hand held tape recorder and use it.....you just have to ask if the doctor minds if you tape so you can remember everything they say. I've done that and even taped conversations on the phone using my speaker phone....you just have to ask permission first.

    Mikie: that's good that the sister is doing so well. Will she be back to live on her own? I think you and I have gotten to that "downhill" stage of life. I feel like I'm losing it. I think that first bout in Dec. did me in and then it just keeps coming back, zapping my energy.

    My cleaning lady was telling me about a friend of her son......age 32......must have had a massive heart attack while climbing stairs at her apartment and died. She didn't show at work so they called her boyfriend who raced over and found her dead. She did have heart troubles.

    My back/legs are still giving me fits. I've dug out all my neoprene and wearing it. A few years ago I bought some neoprene at the fabric store and made a vest with Velcro closing plus I always wear my wide neoprene belt around my hips. I've been sitting out in the sun, making me sweat! Moist heat helps me heal. It sure is uncomfortable though. At times I want to just rip it off.
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2016
  14. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    you just go right on and unload to us. Really, isn't that what a therapist does....lets YOU talk. My DH tried 3 different therapist (went to one over a year who gladly took his $) but he never had success with learning to open up, even to me and we were married 46 years. My DH was a PA, due to his childhood and a controlling mother. 46 years of lack of conversation!!!!! I look back over those years and I can't remember any good times we even had together. Sad. I stayed, thinking foolishly I could help him, then I had 3 children in 3 years and I was lucky to be able to get dressed.

    Anyway, I had a thought on the amount of liquids he drinks, is supposed to drink, or how late in the day he drinks water, etc. And have you talked to his doctor about maybe changing his meds. I think you mentioned that he takes one that makes him go, go ,go.
  15. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    I don't know that much about depends but could he wear two of them at night? Or.......perhaps an extra absorbent pad inside it.....like a Kotex pad? Don't worry about it being public.....I don't know you, you don't know me, and yes, perhaps there's someone out there who would have a suggestion on what you can do. If someone has a problem, I like to put my brain to work to help.

    And have you done a search on natural ways to avoid prostate cancer.

    And here's a link that might give some suggestions.


    Last edited: Apr 12, 2016
  16. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    To JULIE, SUN, DIANE et al,

    OMG, JULIE I can't believe that doc told Gpa that his warranty was up. How crude is that and rude. Gee, that is sad that he ether can't get up and use the bathroom at night more to keep from having to go in the Depends a lot of the time.It is even sadder if he does some of this on purpose. Luckily I didn't have this with DH's dad but when he started getting really bad with everything including eating and bathroom habits and all and could no long take care of him we put him in a NH. However, he was so bad that 3 days or so from then he just died , refusing or hardly eating anything and was getting like a skeleton. We refused to have a feeding tube inserted as he had told us he didn't want any extra means taken to extended his life when he was in a right mind. At that time I still had a few children at home and was taking in little ones during the day.., mostly toddlers and babies.

    I know you love him and don't mind a whole lot if it is for his well being but sometimes there does come a point especially when your health is concerned. I know also they get confused and dementia sometimes comes into play.

    However, as SUN mentioned some of this might very well be spite and control since sis and his wife were the control freaks. Hang in there kiddo. I think it is good thing for you to talk about it for many reasons including others might be having similar problems. You NEED to vent or you will crack up, not in a good way.

    Does he have hi b/p and is he on any diurentics? Sometimes b/p meds will do that some t oo and diuretics definately, make him want to go more to the bathroom. You might want to talk to the doc about his meds if he is on any of these drugs. I have to go a lot during the night and day too and luckily I have some control but wear pads or I would be wetting myself more.
    DIANE - So sorry that doc made you so upset. He had no right to talk to you that way and I am so glad that you can try and other new doc. Hang in there my friend. Yes, sometimes it does take awhile to find a good doc that makes you feel comfortable. Hope to hear from you again soon.

    Nothing to new about DD she stayed in a hotel./motel Not sure if it is one DS picked out or not. He apparently gave her some money for food and stuff too. She has gotten on a waiting list at a place in May sometime and was accepted by the place but has to wait. Not sure how long of a list they have to get in. I had also mentioned taking her medication and she takes it at night, I believe she said. I told her how important it is to take it everyday. She says she is anxious to try and get her life back in some kind of order. To put it very nicely it has been a BIG mess. Apparently, who knows how long she has had her psychosis and then with drinking problems and perhaps some drugs too. Living on the streets is HELL. I can imagine that even without her telling me the details.

    Going to a dinner and a small meeting first this evening. So I need to get done. DD is also coming but her DH is saving $. We are spending our free coupon for a free dinner at our club that DH won at the last men's club meeting.

    Hugz and love to everydobby not mentioned right now !! Wow what a busy porch t has been today !!

    Granni :)
  17. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    Julie: I think I've said this before but will repeat....the only thing he has control over completely is peeing. That's where he's in charge. PA You're too kind and considerate even after you have told and told repeatedly. I'm afraid I would have to tell him that you're tooooo overwhelmed with the sheet washing, etc. and you guys might have to consider him moving back with sis and let her take care of him or hire a full time nurse to live with them.....he pays. Let that sink in! OR.....moving him to a nursing home where an orderly is equipped to do daily cleanup. I would be willing to bet that he would make some changes.

    I feel so sorry for what you're going thru. Praying for you.
    paulac7 and lydia1 like this.
  18. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

  19. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Oh JULIE, I feel so badly for you. Some of this may also be some dementia and of course he probably wouldn't admit to that. I do admit that SUN is right to about some of it also being his way of acting out too. There may be some of both. How old is he now. I think you are wonderful for doing all that for him and taking him in when you did with so much on your plate.

    You might try and say what SUN said about having to go back to live with Sis or a NH and see if that makes any difference in his behavior at all. It might and might not. Some might just be good old aging (not good) too. However, having lived with his daughter for so long with her attitude I can see where he might have some control issues also. You then will need to talk to Den as well as his doctor. You MIGHT have to make some changes IF things do not change for the better for you. You have your health and Dens also to think about, before you especially collapse. Keep on hanging in there sweetie !!

    Gotta run for now. Nothing to much new here. Got my SS today and so much of it will already be spent on some of these supps for me- ugh !!! Hope all goes well with your appt with Gpa JULIE.

    Love you ALL,

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