Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Mikie, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Y'all know the drill; I'll be back in a flash after I close up the old Porch.

    Love, Mikie
    OK, I'm ba-ack.

    Good Morning, Kids,

    We are in for a hot one today--85 degrees. Of course, it won't be long before it's 10 degrees hotter than that! I'll enjoy this while I can. I sat out on the lanai last evening with the kitties. They love to just sit there with me and enjoy our little peaceful time together. Both were good again last night. If this keeps up, I think the new sleeping pattern will become ingrained and I might just get some quality sleep (knock on wood).

    The sister of my friend who died, who is also my friend, called me last evening and talked for about 45 mins. She wasn't crying and we had some good laughs. She really wanted to talk about her grandson who was killed in a motorcycle accident when he was 24. I think each new loss bring back older losses. She said she was angry like Barb for a while but realized she had to let go of her anger.

    Ilona let Barb know our friend had passed and I'm glad her sister didn't have to talk to her. Heaven only knows what Barb might have said. I also talked to Ilona and Frank when they were about 45 mins. from home. They had a good trip back. Grace called as did my friend, Nancy 2. Everyone is so concerned about the family as they grieve. I found out where my friend wanted contributions to go after she passed. I'll send some money. Normally, we would be taking up contributions but most everyone is gone except us year rounders.

    I am hoping to get over to the pool this morning. I kinda hate to go by myself but my friends seem to have gotten out of the habit of working out. I don't know whether I'll have any NRG left to keep cleaning in here. I have to make the workouts my priority when I can.

    Julie, Sweetie, vent all you want to. You certainly have a good understanding of the dynamics of GPA's dysfunction. I think at this point, he's not going to change. Under it all, he knows what's what but he will continue to court sis for her approval. How sad. Bottom line, though, is that you have to protect yourself or he will use you up. As it is, I don't know how you've managed to put up with him. As always, you are in my prayers. Just saw what you posted last. I think things will have to come to a head, and things will have to change, no matter the consequences. I just hope it works out for you. Please do not worry about posting here. That is what we are here for.

    Sun, how awful about the woman with the fatal heart attack. This is why I work out and eat healthy now. In our family, the massive heart attacks usually hit late in life but I'm trying to avoid that if possible. Ilona thinks she and Frank are healthy now that they only eat about half of what they used to eat. Well, they used to eat mountains of food and now, they still heat hearty amounts. Thing is that they are still eating very unhealthy things like cake, pie, cookies, etc. The sugar in those things coat the hydrogenated fats and make for a sludge to block the arteries. Yikes! I'm so glad I found out about that. Thanks to you and your recommendation for Suzy Cohen's book. I am reading, and seeing on TV, more and more medical professionals getting onboard to help people clean up their eating habits. I am impressed that you made your own vest. My wide belt brace really helps with my back pain, that is, when I remember to put it on before my back starts to hurt. Duh!!!

    Granni, I hope and pray DD continues to have a safe place to stay and that she takes her meds and that they help her. It is so awful for y'all to have to worry about her as you have been. My prayers continue for you. Did you get any of the horrible storms which have ravaged TX? I don't know whether my kids got them or whether the storms kept to the south of them.

    Gonna go read the real newspaper. I hope everydobby has a good day and that the problems and stresses go away for all y'all.

    Love, Mikie
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2016
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hi Kids

    Thanks for starting up a new thread, Mikie. I hope you can get your exercise.
    If not at the pool, maybe you can get the cats to include you in their games
    of tag and hide and seek. I suspect your diagnosis of the ailing toilette is
    correct. Was gonna ask the plumber, but he didn't make it yesterday.
    Maybe today.

    Am busy watching DVDs from the library. One can only keep them
    4 days. Anywho, am watching a Ken Burns documentary on the
    first guy to drive a car across the country: 1903. There were no
    paved roads! Yikes! Henry Ford's model T didn't show up for
    another 5 years. My folks used to own an early Ford. Not sure what
    model it was. My mother always referred to it as "The Flying Cloud".

    Got a book on the Civil War. I believe it is mostly excerpts from letters
    and diaries written by the soldiers. It had a report on something I
    never read about before. The great snowball fight. It took place
    during the winter of 1862-63, and involved thousands of Confederate
    soldiers from different brigades. There were no casualties. Well,
    many of the soldiers were just kids. I read decades ago that over
    100,000 soldiers were under the age of 15. Hard to imagine.

    Julie, if you really want to bring about change and get rid of Gpa, you
    can do that, but I think you are deeply conflicted. Lucy would just
    walk out and let people worry for a couple days. When she came home
    she would find the situation changed; or else walk out again. I
    don't think being reasonable and kind is still an option. You are not
    dealing with people or are reasonable or kind in return. It's one
    of those impossible situations.

    Sun, hope at least some of your medical problems improve. This
    having multiple problems all the time is wretched. Gordon and
    I watched a painter on TV yesterday. I think his name is Bob
    Ross. He just dabs at the canvas and somehow a picture emerges.
    Just checked his name. Also read that he donated his paintings to
    public broadcasting stations. They auctioned them off to raise
    funds. The site also said there were 3 copies of each painting.

    Gotta go; bis spater. Hugs Diane, Barry, Granni, Springwater.
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2016
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Hi, Kids,

    Just got back from the pool, rinsed out my swim suit and gave the kitties their treats; they always get them when I return from being away. It appears that they are good when I'm gone. I got a full-out 30 mins. in the pool plus some time stretching. I sat in the sun for a while to let the air dry me off before coming home. I feel soooo much better when I work out but, unfortunately, it doesn't increase my NRG. The pool was deserted but I could hear the whine of the saws from the guys redoing one of the condos right by the pool. That makes me happy; people plan to stay and are making the investment to update. Having made investments, people will care about keeping things up in here to protect the investments.

    I weighed myself after breakfast and, despite only getting to the pool sporadically recently, I'm still at 26 lbs. lost. I want to lose the rest but am happy right now just to hold the line. My avocados aren't ripe so won't have a BLT&A sandwich. I can still do the BLT or cook the steak I got yesterday. I often don't feel like eating a meal at night so probably should eat the steak so I don't have to keep it til tomorrow. Decisions, decisions, decisions!

    Rock, I love Ken Burns. I haven't heard of that documentary but his one on Jackie Robinson has been playing on PBS. I'll stream it when I want to watch it. His film on the Civil War was outstanding. There is no good war but I believe our Civil War was the worst, followed by WWI. I watched a good show on parks on PBS. There are some amazing parks in our big cities, including the Highline Park in NYC. I watched a documentary of how that one was done. They also showed the Riverwalk in San Antonio. I had never thought of it as a park but it is. I want to go back again. It appears that it has a lot more to offer than the last time I saw it. I think they still serve Margaritas in bowl-size glasses at the Mexican restaurant. Now that I think about it, San Antonia would be a great place for the family to meet up.

    When the cats are playing, if I clap my hands and run with them, it gets them all excited. Sir Vester will get down under his little bottle-brush arch with his front end down and his back end up, swishing his tail. Tweety will run full speed out onto the lanai, hoping I'll follow. Sometimes, they play almost like dogs.

    I feel tired but peaceful. It was soooo beautiful out this morning--in the 70's with a light breeze. Our pool is big and the water is sparkling aqua. The sun was shining and warm on my shoulders. Live oaks and palm trees ring the area. I try to stop during the day and realize that everything is perfect and I need nothing more than what I have at that exact moment. There is a mantra, "Everything is exactly as it is supposed to be." That's how I felt at the pool.

    I send prayers and wishes for peace to everydobby.

    Love, Mikie
  4. ConfusedInPA

    ConfusedInPA Well-Known Member

    Hi y'all, I can't type for long, 'cause I don't know what might happen! LOL

    Early this morning Microsoft decided that my HP Laptop HAD TO upgrade to Windows 10. (Before that it was running fine on Windows 7.) So my computer just went ahead and shut down, and oh my. Waiting waiting; install install; etc. etc.

    Apparently Microsoft is going to upgrade everyone to Windows 10, without advance warning. So good luck to y'all, if you aren't expecting this to happen.

    Thank goodness Kevin was still asleep when this whole process started. When he woke, and the install process was finished, he then spent over 45 minutes trying to get my computer to "look and act" like it did before the Windows 10 upgrade.

    I don't like it. It's not working well on my laptop. If I close the lid, walk away, then come back in an hour or so to check emails or the Board, it will take 30 minutes/up to an hour+ to get me to my programs. UGH! Leave well enough alone, is what I say. Kevin's gonna do more research, figure out the glitch.

    So, for now, a big HI to y'all. Soon as I close the lid on my laptop, I'll have to fight with W-10 to get my 'puter to re-start again.

    Just a heads up for y'all who like Windows 7, like I did. You will be upgraded to 10. Soon.

    I better send an email to Kevin. Then I'll close the laptop lid, and .... SIGH......... go through this again.

    I'll be back, when I can. Later, my friends!

  5. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    Diane: You've got me scared! I still have the computer in the other room. I keep getting messages about upgrading to 10 but haven't done it and won't. I know nothing about computers so I would be up a creek and would need to hire a computer person. I don't use it.....only switch it on the clean out emails then turn it off again. I've got my IPad in the kitchen and I'm always on it.....back and neck troubles sitting at the other one. How can the computer automatically upgrade you?????

    Mikie: I don't know how you can suffer thru 85 degree heat! I know it's with humidity. I can't stand the heat anymore. It was December when we visited Florida and Ft. Myers and Sanibel island. The temps weren't too bad at that time though. It sounds like your friend has adjusted to her sister being gone. About this young woman dying......we just never know how long we'll live. I had an art friend years ago whose DD was engaged to be married. Her fiancé came around a bend of a freeway underpass in his little sports car, and ran right into a stopped big wheeler, killed instantly. Her DD was devastated and months....bad depression. Hard to get over something like that.
  6. ConfusedInPA

    ConfusedInPA Well-Known Member

    Hi Mikie and Rock and Sun and y'all --

    Sun, I kept refusing the UPGRADE TO Windows 10 messages. Kevin's had "10" now for a while, and he thinks that "7" is much better. But he got upgraded, about 6 months ago. He told me to say "NO" to the upgrade messages, so I have been.

    Then this morning, I'm sitting here, drinking my one lovely cup of coffee for the day. Reading the board, checking my emails, etc. And I started playing a game of mahjong.

    I heard a news story on the TV -- so I got up from my computer, and walked to the living room. Was away from the computer for about 2 minutes.

    When I got back to my coffee and mahjong, it was like aliens took over my PC. All of my icons disappeared, all my programs were closed. Then the screen went blank, and I finally saw a message: Upgrades to Windows 10 are installing. DO NOT turn off your computer.

    And, that was that. I had no choice, anymore.

    Kevin looked up some "techie news" on his smartphone. Found out that this is going to happen, without notice. When I asked him why he was so concerned, he said that his entire office, including branch offices, run on Windows 7, and are not ready for an upgrade. He's gonna mention it to others higher up than he is, just to let them know at work.

    I couldn't have set up my 'puter to look like my old version of W-7, without Kevin's help. I'm still having a problem with having to re-boot and taking an hour or so for that to happen.

    You might need a "techie" of sorts to help you, if that happens to you. Thank goodness I married a techie.

    A big HI to ALL. I'm afraid to stay tooo long on the 'puter. It's running and running and running. I don't want it to overheat.

    Later, my friends! DIANE
  7. bct

    bct Well-Known Member

    Diane, I empathize with you and your computer problems! I had installed Windows 10 last night and this a.m. Had 7 before, like you. I'm a bit confused with it but am slowly (with Richard's help) making progress. I didn't even know how to shut it down at first! I am a rabid technophobe! We have laptops. Getting used to these changes can be anxiety-provoking to people like you and me!

    Mine is working pretty fast now, and seems alright. Just got to figure out what some things mean!:p If you have a specific problem to be addressed, just ask Cortana, or so it says at the bottom. Do you know Cortana? I asked it/her how to shut the computer and it gave me like a yahoo search, but I did get the dumb info I asked for. ;)

    Barry and Cortana :p

    Oops! Cortana has been eleiminated!
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2016
  8. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Oh, my I just noticed that I wrote a post a few minutes ago on the old volume and there were quite a few of them. Not sure if there were others besides be who also . Someone who knows how to move messages could you move mine over to here??? So sorry. There was message mostly to JULIE but to all .

    Need to get this one started on here so I can get them on my phone.

    We upgraded to 10 sometime ago and haven't had any problem really except after on LONG upgrade . The new computer is OK but still trying to figure out what to do and where to find some stuff,

    Have to run for now before DH wants it.

    Love to EVERYDOBBY,
    Granni :)
  9. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    Julie: Yes, I would guess that STRESS is over the top, plus all you seem to do is drive Gpa from one appt. to another. I get angry for YOU. I do pray for you, and also Granni's DD. I see you put up a "funny" ........does that relate to your situation?

    My DD seems to be coming down with something AGAIN. She always has gotten sick about 4-5 days before me with this bug. I looked at my calendar and for me it's been around the 24th. I told her to go get Flunada at Walgreens. Today she said she looked but couldn't find it so I called and the lady pulled one for her and left it at the register. The last two times I used it and it seemed to have pretty much knocked the worst out of me. Well, I did get a drippy nose that came from nowhere. I used my sinus rinse kit again today and I've had a cough for almost a week again.

    By the way, Julie, I found a great cough drop, Fisherman's Friend. CVS carries them. Really strong and helps with the cough so long as I have one in my mouth.
  10. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Really cute JULIE !!! Just had to tell you that. REST dear girl you need a lot of it tonight with all the running today. I see there are no more posts so hopefully I will see you back here tomorrow sometime.

    Love also to MIKIE, SUN, ROCK, SW, BARRY, DIANE, and anyone else that I cannot think of now. Have a good night all.

    Granni :)
  11. springwater

    springwater Well-Known Member


    it has become SO hot! 100 F plus day time..i took a bus the other day to town and then further...hoo..hot! and they cram passengers into the little micro buses like sardines in a tin...close packed..theyre not supposed to..but the law looks the other way because everyone is so poor. The bus owners need the money..due to high costs of running..the passengers need the buses because there arent enough running the route...(kids ad elderly cannot walk and no one can afford daily tazi rides of course)some routes more than others..the only rule the traffic police enforce is the bus door has to be shut when they pass by ...otherwise they cram enough people so they hang outta the bus.

    ive been walking a lot though...thank goodness im able to manage the pain in my legs, massage and home remedies so i can get here there without having to spend a fortune on taxis..i never have to worry about over weight i guess, the rate at which i seem to walk around..grocery shopping the the various chores...i passed by a neighbour the other day...she used to be a pranic healer novice once but got disillusioned with some things there (i think money issues) she had paid for a course and cancelled and they didnt want to refund because she hadnt given enough notice..this neighbour was having her house and gate painted for the nepalese new year so she was outside and she told me i was looking so young and what was i doing...i looked at her, she also was pretty good for a plus fifties and told her so..but she told me my build looked like that of a young girl apart from the lack of wrinkles...(ho ho ho, did that make my till then not so terrific day!) so i told her maybe the meditations. She told me she had thyroid issues...every second person in nepal is having thyroid issues these days....can someone tell me what the cause could be? ive got my thyroid tested (again i had to request it on my own) but on both occasions several years apart, it came back identical, negative tho..the first time they had to send the samples to India because we didnt hv the things needed here...

    Mikie - I felt so sad when i read about your dear friend that passed..i felt like i knew her because you used to mention her so often and i was so impressed with the fact she used to go out with you all for lunch and just get on with her life and accept what she had...i remember her giving away her orchids, it seemed so matter of fact and brave...i think i am tearing up a leetle now...anyways God Bless her sweet soul.

    Rock - lol, the artist who used to dab and a picture would appear...i ve seen something like that on tv..i wish we could send Lucy to deal with Julies DIL and her SIL..what a difficult challenge dear julie has....most of us would hv thrown up our hands and given up by now. granpa is such a handful compared to Gordons brother...just having to deal with someone outside of the immediate family is a challenge in itself...i used to hv issues with and still hv them with my two remaining brothers. Even when i dont live with them.

    Granni - you are also dealing with a heavy load on the mind and heart at the moment..but good to know your DD is getting the attention and help she needs. it is better than when she was out there and wouldnt reply to all your efforts to reach out.Maybe now she will have learned some lessons and accept certain things...that you cannot do whatever one wants disregarding norms without expecting repercussions. Sigh. Maybe this was what she needed to go thru, her life lesson..i dont know. I know you are so relieved she trusts one sibling at least..he sounds like a sweetheart this son of yours.

    Sunflower - i hope you find something to chase away this bug and the aches and pains for good. I wish they would make some super pill that would just zap the culprit virus as soon as we ingested it...as well as injecting anti bodies into us at the same time so we never ever got it.

    About the EQ prediction, you were right no big one came within the three days predicted tho we did hv a small tremor felt last eve because of the 6.9 pointer they had further down east..in Asia somewhere.

    Julie- the games people play...this film would have granpa and sis in it playing pivotal roles. Is there any way yu can get yr aggression out?pity you dont play squash (hit the ball really hard) or swim or something..to physically let the anger out ..when you post i feel all your contained anger...and worry...ive read too much anger weakens the liver.

    so you might get pains in that area..and of course your heartache over the whole mess must be contributing to your chest pains..did you try the Epsom salts? we dont hv a bath either but i put both feet in a bucket of salt water..we dont have epsom salts either i use whatever they sell, the normal table salt but it works)..one thing is certain if this situation is prolonged somethngs gonna give...you are going to lose yr temper and yell at one or both..i dont even understand, both Den and sis are granpas kids and Den and you have been the major carers all his life, and yet...he is afraid of sis. If Granpa had any ethical values he would even now just give Den what property was due to him as a son who took care of him and to heck with Sis. And stop the whole game playing with his wayward DD. Why should Den hv to pay for any misdeeds Granpa himself has done?

    Last edited: Apr 14, 2016
    rockgor likes this.
  12. springwater

    springwater Well-Known Member

    i was editing my post so as i wouldnt hit some button and lose it..and saw Julie had posted..hi Julie..i wrote something to you as i was editing but u might hv gone to sleep now and see it tomorrow. so so sad about the young girl was killed in the overcrowded bus. isnt it funny? we dont hv too many of those incidents considering hw many thousands travel that way every day..maybe a special guardian angel is appointed over us for this reason....or several, one guardian angel holding up the people in all these buses aint cutting it.

    Barry - hi to you and Cortana..I refused any updates..and so far they havent muscled their way in. i hope i dont regret it.

    Diane - sounds like you had a good day..a lovely cuppa coffee by the window. Wish i could join you..sure could use some fresh air and greenery. It is so hot. And smoggy.

    The other day DH had brought in oyster mushrooms to make dumplings ..i cnt make those so yesterday he brought the proper button ones and we had those...along with tomato chutney garnished with fresh cilantro.

    before that we went to an opening of Dhs relatives new Coffee Shop..three partners and two of them are his relatives..it was a ceremony only for close relatives bout twenty people...(they had a soft opening bout a week ago)..you get all sorts of coffee and sundaes and cold drinks and pastries that sort of thing..i had a mint iced drink..it was cool but too tangy...met all the cousins, the young ones n all. we met a cousin bro of DHs..he recovered from liver cancer which is so so rare...he went and got treatment in the US because they hv a house there too...i think his son is a US citizn..this coz even recovered from a heart attack so a special guardian angel over him looks like, what changed drastically was his attitude, he had anger issues and ws pathologically a trouble maker getting physical with road rage and all..fighting with everyone.but after his illness, whoa a new person...friendly calm and surprise, - religious..he goes most mornings and walks around the temple on the hill, an hours walk.My son drove DHs Skoda which he usually doesnt..DH is afraid he might damage it but he got it there just fine. Athough we were the latecomers but one family arrving at 3pm.

    The city is beginning to come back to life after the EQ and blockades...so many clothing shops..and little eateries..i guess people came back from the villages and started going out to work again. The supermarket near our home has sacrificed someparking space and given it for food stalls ...so there are some nice takeways to be had now..every kind of dumpling, veg non veg spiced, plain, indian food, snacks,tea, all sorts of drinks...i think theyre copying the food carts you get in the states...they hv all sorts of burgers and sausages, and some highly priced coffee specials whch i dont go to, thank goodness i prefer tea..i rang my friend up and told her to go have a look see, her family
    eats out a lot. She invited me for a Rotary Club picnic...but was not in a mood to go plus couldnt get my brother to come stay for the day..it was some 45 mins drive away..and i had attended one picnic which was kind of boring...people selling raffle tickets and nothing much except the food. Plus i dont hv the 25 dollars charge..i would hv used it for something else. i remember the picnics of my youth where you walked by a rushing river, swam in the shallow end , explored the woody areas nearby and ate ravenously cheese sandwiches, thermos tea, potato curry, and meat balls. simple fare but oh so good.

    well - off now to do what chores i can

    God Bless
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2016
  13. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Good Morning, My Friends,

    Another warm day ahead. We should get a bit of relief this weekend and, hopefully, some rain. I hope I have some NRG today to clean in here. The workout at the pool just wiped me out yesterday. Still, I think it is important for me to keep my heart and lungs working. Allergies are awful right now and people are coughing and sneezing. Most of us can't tell whether it's from an earlier virus or allergies.


    I have gotten used to Windows 10 for the most part but still have problems when trying to print as the print dialog box runs off the screen at the bottom so there is no "Print" button. I have tried everything I know to resize the box but nothing works. Fortunately, I can print PDF files sent to me by the mgmt. co. I still have 8.l on the Surface laptop. I'm sure it will update eventually. It is better to switch from 7 to 10 because, if there are problems, Microsoft no longer supports 7. Good luck to everydobby.

    Julie, you do things for GPA because you are a kind, loving person. You do not do them because he tries to manipulate you. In fact, you do things in spite of his manipulations; therefore, you cannot be a patsy. You are not falling for his games. You recognize his games and choose to be kind to him anyway. He chooses to be unkind to you despite all you do for him. This has put you in the unhealthy position of being under constant stress, having to deal with him. No wonder it has finally come to this. It is important to realize just who is responsible for what. You are responsible for being caring and kind; he is responsible for repaying your kindness with disrespect and destructive games.

    He needs to take responsibility for this and for the potential consequences. If not, it needs to be pointed out to him. He will determine what happens to him. If he keeps this up, it will become impossible for you to continue to care for him. Someone needs to ask him if this is what he wants. In true P/A fashion, he will likely act innocent and like he doesn't know anything about it or blame it on his meds, etc. Still, he needs to realize there will be consequences if he continues. It may take pointing out each thing he does, like peeing all over. He needs to know that he is in control. He is choosing what happens to him. If you are having to clean up his pee all the time, you cannot continue to care for him. He will have to pay for someone to come in to help you or move into a long-term care facility.

    It would be helpful if a third party, a therapist or clergy, could explain that, no matter what, the situation cannot continue--period! A professional might be able to help GPA find some better tools to deal with his need to exert control. I am glad to see you standing up to him but you may need some help. Not lecturing--just concerned about you. Sometimes, it's soooo hard to see the forest for the trees when you are trying to care for an older person, especially a P/A. It would be better to get help to deal with this in a professional manner instead of just letting things boil until they boil over. As always, I keep you in my prayers. BTW, love the cheesy pun.

    Spring, this friend is not the one who gave me the orchids. She died of lung cancer last year. This is another friend whose cancer reappeared and had spread to her brain. Both were really nice women. Thank you for your kind and concerned words. We've lost a number of people in here and many in here have lost their loved ones, mostly to cancer. I think this is just how it works when the members of the community get older. One of my friends is moving to AZ for her health and to be near to her sons. Another is thinking of moving. Good grief! Getting around there sounds pretty risky. I've seen busses and trains packed to the gills with passengers, but not taxis. Yikes! I hope you stay safe. I'm glad you can walk. No wonder you look so good and so young. Walking is excellent exercise.

    Diane, my computer is slow too when it starts up. I'm not sure the older computers have enough memory and speed to handle Windows 10. When I shut mine down, it always tells me there is an app which won't allow it to shut down. I have to click on "Shut Down Anyway" each time. What a pain! Hope you, Kevin and the kitties were doing well.

    Barry, when I ask Cortana for help with Windows 10, it opens up pages for the online manual. Still, I haven't been able to solve the printing dialog box issue. I really need to spend the time contacting Microsoft for help. I hate the stress of dealing with things like this so tend to put them off. Hope you are feeling better and able to enjoy you little piece of paradise.

    Sun, Ilona swears by the Fisherman's Friend drops. I'll have to try them but the Hall's drops I've been using seem to help when my throat goes dry and itchy and I cough. Hack! Hack! I'm sorry you and DD continue to have this crud reappear like that. I hope y'all feel better.

    Granni, I continue to pray for DD and your family. I hope you can come back soon. Keep us updated.

    Well, dear ones, I'm off, as usual, to read the paper. Just wanted to stop in and catch up with everydobby. We have a whole new generation of spammers here so I keep busy getting rid of them. Thanks for everyone who flags their posts. These new spam posts are sometimes pornographic and usually make no sense as though the spammers do not have command of the language.

    Love, Mikie
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2016
  14. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Hi, Kids,

    I'm off to try to straighten out the spare room. AACCKK!!! Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all clean and organized. Not much else to tell. Just thought I'd stop in after eating my lunch. I had a BLT with avocado. Mmmmm! I sat out on the balcony to eat after watering the plants. It's already getting too hot to sit out. Kids are packing up my friend's van across the street so she can head home to NY. I don't know when they are having the funeral for her sister.

    Julie, I'll bet it will feel good to do some physical work but try not to overdo it. I'm going to try to pace myself with that spare room but once I get going... Wish we were like electric cars. We could just plug ourselves in when our NRG drops.

    Everydobby else, I hope you are all OK. I'll be back later today or in the morning. Love, hugs and prayers to you.

    Love, Mikie
  15. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    Julie Good for you that you're finally having your eyes opened!!!!! I was looking for a smiley face to show me clapping but couldn't find it. Now that you've opened the floodgates, don't be surprised if this PA action will show up, continually. And have you told him this deliberate bed wetting has to STOP? Sis was doing a happy dance when you loaded him up and all his things to bring to your home. What does Den say about all this? I think if the two of you had confronted Gpa together then things wouldn't have gotten out of hand. And I'm happy to read that you're taking some walks.....exercise is very very important. I just got back from pushing myself on a 25 min. walk, some days it's soooooo darn hard to do this. And don't forget.....put ALL of this into God's hands........he will work things out for the best.

    By the way, all the years of living with a PA, and me suffering with a lot of pain I don't ever once remember him apologizing for anything without me bringing it up first. And I also remember that he NEVER offered to even make me a cup of coffee. It's easy for people to be taken for granted......the more they do the more is expected from them. And It's so easy for a PA to push things under the rug and pretend they're not there.

    I'm off to run a few errands and then I REALLY need to play today so will work with my oil paintings. I dug out unfinished ones the other day and feel very motivated.
  16. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Oh, my. All this P/A talk brings up a lot of unpleasant memories. I think a lot of us think that we can keep the peace by being peaceful and kind. Unfortunately, P/A's will take advantage of this. The result is that they push people to the end of their ropes. Yes, it's better if things can be dealt with early on but it usually doesn't work because the P/A's keep wiggling and turning everything back on others. P/A's have to learn a completely new paradigm in order to navigate through life without driving everyone around them nuts. Yes, the "A" in P/A may not stand for 'Aggressive' but rather something else.

    Sun, you and I suffered far too long, trying to be good wives and keep our families going. The result is that we know the P/A game well. Still, I know I did everything I could but it takes two to make a good marriage. Oh well, water under the bridge now. This is why I'm still single after all these years. Glad you are motivated to paint.

    Julie, I'm so glad you have a nice day to get out in the sunshine and the yard. I'm laughing at the calves. They are curious critters, like the cats. You have your calves underfoot and I have the cats under mine. Today was cleaning day for me too but I have so much to do in that room. Ei, yi, yi!

    My friend got on the road after lots of hair tearing as the kids tried to pack her van just the way she wanted it. I know they are all under a lot of stress and I don't envy their road ahead, figuratively and otherwise. Last year, they had a small accident on the way home but no one got hurt. I am praying they get home safely.

    I'm sooooo proud. I got into that spare room and cleaned out the shelves. I use those shelves partly as an extended pantry due to so little storage in the kitchen. I don't know whether or not coffee ever goes bad. I need to find out. I used to buy it on BOGO but don't use loose coffee much now that I have the Keurig. I only had a couple of outdated things and I'm glad for that. I'm not sure those pantries are a good thing. They can be a place for food to go to die. If I only make this much headway three or four days a week, it'll get done. Now, if only my bod cooperates... I did remember to put on my back brace. Back feels good. I've quit for the day.

    I didn't think I had a new A/C filter and found one in that closet. Yea! The old one wasn't dirty but it's time to change it out. I think maybe Roomba is keeping dust out of the air by keeping the floors cleaner. I need to keep this A/C unit running as long as possible; they are sooooo expensive to replace. This one is a Trane so it should last a long time if I take care of it.

    I'm watching "Hot Bench." I never watched that or "Judge Judy" when I had full cable. OMG! The people on those shows! Most of them aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer! Comcast is having another "Double Play" offer for bundled cable and internet so I may look into it.

    Love, Mikie
  17. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    :)So nice to see so many on the porch. It is getting late and DH wanted me to come watch something with him. Not exciting but I might go try. Nothing great happened today, just the usual.

    JULIE - Glad you are finding more about Gpa and what is making him tick so you can hopefully handle him better. You might want to try what SUN said to tell him about wetting the bed so often. I see he got into the car right away when you said you would be leaving when he got back.off . Very convenient like a little child. Used to do that with my kids and they hopped to it :)!!

    Gotta run for now and hope to get back here tomorrow. I will be busy doing outside work probably most of the morning, I am guessing. He already told me about ):!! he he

    Love to all who posted ,
  18. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Good Morning, Kids,

    Looks like another hot 'n muggy day later on in the afternoon. There's a possibility of strong thunderstorms. If not today, then tomorrow. Looks as though our rainy season will arrive with some fanfare. Sir Vester is lying next to me on the sofa. He loves our little snuggle times. I've already rubbed Tweety's tummy for her. Barb called Joe yesterday to try to find out what is going on with my friend's family, the one who passed away. He tells me that no one is calling her. Ilona originally did to let her know about the death but, evidently, no one has called her since. She is really going to be isolated up there.

    I will go to the pool today and then, if my ERG is there, I may go to Comcast to check out their latest come-on. It's a good deal if I can actually get it. They are known for their bait 'n switch offers. Or, I may just keep on truckin' in that spare room. I like the progress I made yesterday.

    Julie, the P/A memories are, themselves, not pleasant but remembering does not affect me nor make me angry nor sad. The past is just a cold fact now. I've been divorced 30 years! I've been divorced longer than I was married. The emotional connection to that time is long gone so talk away about P/A behavior. I have a whole lot of experience with it and, if anything I can contribute is helpful, I am glad. Of course, each P/A and each situation is different but there are a lot of similarities too. That was brilliant getting GPA into the van. It is exactly what I'm talking about--he is making his own choices. When he realized that his game would not deter you from leaving, he chose to get into the van. He chose not to sit on the bed where the pad would spill his pee because he fessed up to doing it on purpose and now, the jig is up. He can no longer feign ignorance about what he is doing. This is big progress but P/A's are like onions--peel back one layer and there is another under it. Still, any progress with them is HUGE! Good for you! The P/A Motto is "Who, me?"

    Granni, if you are like me, you can do without excitement. Same ole, same ole and boring is my cuppa tea. I hope you made progress outside. I did what little outside work I needed to do so am concentrating on that spare room. Dr. Phil had a hoarder on his show yesterday. I gotta admit that I'm not really a hoarder--far from it. I just let that space get outta control while I was cleaning and organizing the rest of the condo. The outside is in good shape, my car is relatively clean and I'm making progress inside. Woo hoo! How we savor what 'normals' take for granted. Oh well, it keeps us in an attitude of gratitude. Stop back when you can.

    I woke early so am taking my time having coffee and will now go read the paper online. I love this time of day, hanging out with the kitties while the air is still cool. This morning, it's 70 degrees at 5:30 so I had better enjoy it while I can. Hope all y'all have a great day.

    Love, Mikie
  19. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hi Kids

    It's going on 3:30 AM here. Fierce wind a-blowing. Gusts to 16 mph.
    Sounds like somebody is trying to break into the back porch. I can see
    potted orchids in the backyard have been blown over. Gordon's brother
    left for work a few minutes ago.

    Mikie, I wish I had known about passive aggressive behavior when I was
    younger. I would have saved myself a lotta trouble with my mother.
    But in those days I never came across anything in a book. And my therapist
    never said anything. Would have made a big difference. Glad to hear
    you and the kitties are having a pleasant day. Congrats to you and
    Roomba on getting so much cleaning done.

    Julie, looks like some progress is being made with Gpa. I wouldn't put up
    with any of that stuff anymore, but then you are a nicer person than I.
    Were those calves wondering loose on a road? Yikes! When I used to
    visit various farms that belonged to relatives, they always told us kids
    before we went into the barn, "Don't stand behind a cow. You can get
    kicked. Don't go in the stall with the horses. Don't climb on the fence
    around the pig sty. If you fell in you could get trampled or eaten. And
    don't go near the door to the silo." There was a dirty deep pool at the
    bottom and no ladder to climb out. I can't remember ever hearing
    of an accident at the several farms my various relatives owned.
    Thanks for the De Brie cartoon.

    Sun, were you able to do any painting? BTW, I read a thriller
    not long ago that mentioned Sanibel island. Some criminals
    occupied it or something along those lines. I believe Sanibel
    in Latin means without bells. Must be a pretty big island. I
    read the population is more than 6x the pop where I grew up.
    Must be a pretty big island.

    Diane, I haven't seen any news about a big change coming in
    the computer. But I have noticed the computer gets more and
    more unfriendly. I don't know who is responsible though. Yahoo?
    AOL? Martians? Anyway I frequently am not allowed to post
    comments on the news. Sometimes can't even read the article.
    I'd complain except I don't know to whom I should complain. I
    do know, of course, that it wouldn't do any good anyway.

    Barry, I never heard of Cortana. Sounds like a Mexican beer. Or
    possibly one of the gypsies in Carmen. When is the wandering
    Richard returning?

    Speaking of windows, I believe all the noise tonight is due to the
    wind in the window. (As opposed to the Wind in the Willows.) One
    of the windows in this old house has a gap at the top. I suppose the
    putty hardened over the last 87 years and shrank; or just fell out.
    Last summer Gordon and I did an ad hoc repair with a piece of
    cardboard and some masking tape. Now that strip of cardboard
    is dangling like a misplaced participle.

    Spring, glad to hear things are improving in your city. Your mint
    drink sounds very refreshing. Don't think I ever had a mint drink.
    I know I never had a mint julep. I looked up mint julep. Some
    sites say it's just a glass of bourbon with a mint leaf for a garnish.
    One site had a recipe that said you also need simple syrup and
    crushed ice. Kinda sound like a snow cone for grown ups.

    Yes, I too remember picnics from the days of my yute. They were
    great fun. The cave where I worked had acres of lawn with a stream
    running through it; wild mallard ducks in the stream. And
    fireplaces and water for picnickers.

    Ok, gotta go. Hugs everydobby

  20. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Hi, Kids,

    Wow, Julie, I am so glad if this is all helpful to you. I don't know what I'd have done without my family here either. Kids develop P/A behavior when they are small as a coping mechanism to deal with dysfunction in their families/surroundings. That is why it is so ingrained in their personalities that they develop the layers. Dysfunction can be passed from one generation to the next. fortunately, my kids aren't like that. Other conditions have layers too. It isn't hopeless and understanding it is a big step forward. I am glad you feel empowered.

    Rock, Sanibel Island is just a short drive over the causeway from my condo. It is one of the best shelling places in the world. It isn't that big and only has a few businesses and residents. It is crowded, especially during season. It is a very expensive place to live. The wealthy residents there would just as soon keep us rif-raf outta their paradise. The whole place, except the beaches, was very overgrown and jungle like until Hurricane Charley rearranged things. It'll always be a beautiful place but the traffic and overcrowding are a turn off to me. It connects, via a short bridge, to Captive Island. It is also a beautiful place but a bit more remote from me. Randy Wade White (I think I got his name right) has written a series of books featuring 'Doc Ford,' who solves mysteries. They are just so so. The restaurant of the same name is also mediocre.

    We have to be really careful about any water leaks around windows here. If water runs inside, it will turn into mold in this humidity. Our air conditioners are slaved to humidistats and when we leave, we set the humidistats so that the A/C will come on before it gets too humid inside. Last time we had our bldg. painted, they redid the caulking around our windows. Cortana is the voice of Windows just as Siri is the voice of Apple. Who comes up with these names? The only voice-activated contraption I use is the search function on my Amazon Prime Fire TV. It still amazes me. Hope your computer doesn't give you too much trouble.

    I'm back from the pool where I did my full 30 mins. of aerobics at my target heart rate. I reallllly didn't want to go but did it anyway. I'm a bit tired today from cleaning yesterday. The whole area is gray and humid out but we may not get the rain after all. Hope all y'all have sunny skies with just enough rain to keep the drought away and the flowers blooming.

    Love, Mikie

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