Porch Addendum

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by rockgor, Jun 12, 2009.

  1. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Part of the wonder and beauty of the computer
    age is that computer never runs outta ways to
    drive one crazy.

    Lately when I post, the text often shows up in the search window.

    Surely this is impossible. Isn't it
    the equivalent of putting clothes in your suitcase
    and then finding them in the refrigerator?

    Granni, I meant to tell you that Brother James Air is a setting of the 23 Psalm. I had it in mind, but
    of course, the thought vanished when I started typing.

    I will be 69 pretty soon. I think that's long enough. I don't want to wait around until all my brain cells die or the prostate cancer becomes painful.

    Pippi, I will send you a lovely G.C. Sandwich as soon as conditions are right. You will say, Um-um! Positively Scrumptious! Which means I
    will have to send it UPS.

    Read a book recently of letters from Civil War
    Soldiers. You know conditions were so primitive
    then, the soldiers frequently weren't supplied w/

    One fellow wrote home and thanked his mom for
    the food package. Unfortunately it had taken a
    month for the mail delivery, and much of it was spoiled. He said the pies were ok; just a little mold he was able to brush off.

    I think I read about that dude who took the tomato plants. He psyched himself into believing he was smoking maryjane.

    The police found him spaced out staring at a
    TV in a store window for an hour. Since the TV
    was actually a microwave they got suspicious and took him downtown for some tests.

    Mickey, yes, G. C. sandwiches are great and subject to all kinds of enhancements. Gordon
    sometimes put bacon in his too.

    Hope your weekend is totally relaxing and non-
    stressful. Say Hi to everydobby including Jack.

    Teacher, we didn't have a five and dime in our little village, but every couple months we would visit a big city like Rochester, MN or La Crosse, WI. I loved to walk around Woolworths and see the endless array of toys.

    In those days they didn't have items enclosed in plastic bubbles. Plastic was in its infancy. You could actually pick stuff up and try it out. And a
    dollar would buy almost anything.

    Saw a documentary on Wall Mart a while back.
    Showed a plastic ray gun. Manufactured by
    under-paid laborers in China and purchased by
    WM for 97 cents. Sold in this country for $14.95.

    Jole, what the heck is a bath in a bag. Sounds worse than wine in a box.

    OK, here's the info. Take notes. The pills are vitamin D3. I bought several bottles here during a recent sale.

    The patch is vitamin B12. The only place you can buy it that I know of is on line. There are now several vendors. They all charge the same price.

    If you try it and want to buy more, look for the site that gives you free shipping if you buy 3 boxes at a time. You wear one patch for one day a week.

    Has lessened my depression considerably. I hoped it would give me some energy, but it has not done that.

    Elaine, I hope you are feeling more rested. Watch out for phone calls. Do not answer the
    phone. Do not talk to your crazy relatives.

    Just read the biography of Viki Lawrence. Like
    Carol Burnett (and you and me and plenty others), Viki came from a crazy family.

    She never seemed to catch onto the idea that she should avoid her toxic mother and sister. And that includes phone calls!!!

    Will have to come back later. All for now. Ha det bra. (That's Norskie for have it good.)

  2. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    But i've always loved Brother James's Air.....I sang it at my brother's wedding, back in Iowa many years ago. Thanks for reminding me of it!

    Take care,
  3. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    I'm pretty sure you've read these, but here goes:

    1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
    He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an
    optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
    weapon of math disruption.

    5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

    6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other,
    'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

    14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

    16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
    grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

    17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls
    to do it.

    19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    21. A backward poet writes inverse.

    22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

    24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Anyone who wants to be a porchie is welcome to do so. There used to be
    a requirement: you had to own your own sox or know someone who did.
    Said requirement has now been abandoned.

    Which reminds me of a grade school riddle. What is the difference between
    red sox and white sox?

    Boston and Chicago.

    I didn't know you could sing. Do you have a recording of your rendition of Brother
    James' Air? Haven't heard it for a coons age. Haven't heard "That's where the
    tall corn grows" for a long time either.

    I think I had only come across about 3 of those excellent puns previously. I
    totally disagree w/ the maxim that the pun is the lowest form of humor. I think
    that honor goes to the Congress.

    Here are some puns I like that I found on the net:

    Police were called to a nursery school. A 4 year old was resisting a rest.

    Sadly a cartoonist was found dead in his apt. Thus far details are sketchy.

    After only 2 days Sally gave up her job as an ecdysiast. She just couldn't bare it.

    Always good to here from you.


  5. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    Most "puns" are just groaners, but those were actually funny!

    Thanx 4 the laugh!!!!!!!!!

  6. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    I have no recordings of my singing, but it was nice of you to ask.

    I also remember the Iowa song, but all I can think of is the chorus...."IOWA, IOWA, That's where the tall corn grows!" Yes, I grew up there but I never detassled......did you? I worked in the Dairy Queen, which was more fun.

    I love puns, but my family just groans.....they just don't get it.

    Have a good day,